"Left turn."

The Once-in-a-While

Daily News

1  I took a picture Sunday night of a left turn in our neighborhood.

2  Stuff we take for granted. A left turn.

3  I had been feeling a little under the weather right around then and hadn't seen all the Beebz in a while. 

4  When babies appear in houses, magic begins.

5  No matter what else is going on. 

6   Always. Magic. 2018.

7   I sort of like magical things.

8  The Saints beating the indefatigable Cam Newton, for example.

9  What a game. 

10  And the guys I wanted to win, well, they won.

11  And yes Rich Colbert, if you're listenin', I was thinking of you, and the Nahlinz crowd.

12  Magic.

13  Earlier on, Caitlin and Josh brought the Beebz over, probably by taking a right turn down our street.

14  Sight for sore eyes. 

Here are a few pics:

15  It is always a pleasure.

16  Moving On, Part One: Caitlin also managed to somehow rig our TV with the latest miracle contraption that could get stuff we don't have. I think it's called a Firestick, but I wouldn't stake my life on it.

17  It delighted me to see that whatever package we got was able to get The Donna Reed Show.

18  The Donna Reed Show is yet another old show that included clever writing. Donna Reed plays housewife Donna Stone, a busy woman deeply involved in community affairs, much like Reed herself. The very first episode involved her rehearsing the part of Nora from Ibsen's classic A Doll's House.

19  The director of the show, a critical wannabe actress, argues with Reed about how a certain word in the dialogue should be emphasized.

20  The disagreement results in Reed being removed from the part.

21  What makes this all fun is that Donna Reed played the part of Mary Hatch Bailey opposite James Stewart in Frank Capra's seasonal classic It's a Wonderful Life.

22  The cast reads like a Who's Who in classic Hollywoodland and features such luminaries as Lionel Barrymore, Ward Bond, Gloria Grahame, and H.B Warner.

23  And yes, Bert and Ernie, but I'll allow you the fun of hunting that one down.

24  I am recovering from the winter weather, don't you know.

25  And I really haven't the temerity to research too much further. 

26  Blasted weather.

27  Why don't they do something about it?

28  I guess that's the way it goes with things nowadays.

29  The only thing it appears we could get really good at is grumping. 

30  Well, there's a lot to grump about, but as anyone knows, I'm pretty apolitical.

31  Some subjects deserve abject avoidance.

32  And before I paint myself into a corner, I'm going to paint a door and be sure I can get out of anything I get myself into.

33  Oh, bother.

34  I think that's a reason I always liked Winnie the Pooh. 

35  Ah, back to the days.

36  Moving On, Part Two: I don't think I've picked up a guitar in bazillion years. 

37  That's okay, I'm pretty much a C- at guitar anyway. 

38  C-, D+ for the tougher graders.

39   Plus it's tough trying to sing when you feel that you have a hunk of metal plugging up your nose.

40  Rusty.

41  Don't get old.

42  You look down one day and your third toe in seems to be at a 45-degree angle to the rest of you.

43  All those field goals you never kicked. 

44  Hey, if your hunting down this hallway for wit, you may need to hunt elsewhere.

45  Nah, it's all good. 

46  It was important for me to get this DN out there today.

47  And Ol' Grammarly tries to correct me, but still gets a C- for a lot of stuff. I hope they don't get too upset with me. 

48  I'm throwing grades out there like they're party favors. 

49  Anyway...

50  I gottago.

51  The madness has officially gotten to me.

52  I must have my beauty rest, lest all be lost.

53  And we just can't have that.

54  So...

55  Have a GREAT day.

56  See you again.

57  And, as always:

58  Live life.

59  Love life.

60  Peace. 

~H~

fin.

"Living Doll" Talky Tina. 

The inimitable Burgess Meredith as Mr. Beemis.

Burgess Meredith as Mr. Beemis

in the classic "Time Enough at Last."

The Once-in-a-While

Daily News

1  I began this nonsense on Monday, which just happened to be New Year's Day. 

2  My oh my can THAT ever throw you for a loop!

3  I'd spent much of my spare time binge-watching the old Twilight Zone episodes, the classics if you will. 

4  Between all that, I also dismantled Christmas, which was a sort of bittersweet task. 

5  This was a pretty special Christmas, as I have mentioned at times throughout the season. I saw a lot of family and friends dealing with some pretty tough issues, and I salute all who managed to get through all of it. 

6  I don't know if it's because I'm just getting older (or am I youthening? I keep forgetting which) or whether I allow my own imagination to run a tad wild, but I had a pretty soulful and humbling Christmas this year. I have a feeling that a lot of people did. 

7  For those of you who had to ride through it with the usual natural shocks, I congratulate you on getting through anything life threw at you. 

8  Quite a test sometimes. I'd go further, but I think I'll leave this one out on the field. 

9   Details at eleven.

10  Moving On, Part One: Speaking of The Twilight Zone, when everything settled down Monday night and I flexed my fingers to begin tacking away at this, I looked up and saw the face of Talky Tina (see above) staring at me from the TV screen. 

11  Now I don't know about any of you, but I think that doll is one of the scariest things in the history of television. I assume that those of you who take the trouble to read this know exactly where I'm headed with this. 

12  When I taught, I would often use old Twilight Zone episodes as perfect filler on testing days, or on days where we had odd schedules. 

13  This particular episode entitled "Living Doll" used to scare the bejeezus out of even the toughest kids in town. 

14  One look at Talky Tina's face should convince you that this is no exaggeration: it is scary. 

15  The episode opens with a woman named Annabelle, who has just bought her daughter a talking doll named Tina, a doll who introduces herself with a kind and joyful, "My name is Talky Tina, and I love you!" Christie, the little girl, loves Tina, and can't wait to tell her new dad, a man named Eric Streator, about the doll. 

16 Eric Streator (played to perfection by a young Telly Savalas) wants nothing to do with the doll and berates Annabelle for wasting money on it. Psychologically, he also knows that he is infertile and can't produce a child. His attitude towards Christie is one of deliberate distance. 

16  When Eric is alone with the doll, he winds it up, and it begins changing from "My name is Talky Tina, and I love you" to "My name is Talky Tina, and I don't like you!" and finally, "My name is Talky Tina, and I'm going to kill you!"

17  Eric thinks Annabelle is behind a morbid practical joke, and arguments ensue. He alienates himself from his wife and step-daughter in subsequent scenes.

18  I won't spoil how it all comes out, as these Twilight Zone episodes tend to be readily available to the common man, so I'll leave that one out on the field as well. 

19  On New Years, it seems they played a whole bunch of classic Twilight Zones, so it was a lot of fun. 

20  One other classic Twilight Zone episode did surface on New Years. The title of it is "Time Enough at Last,"  but most people recognize the episode and it's tragic conclusion with a single picture of Mr. Beemis, played exquisitely by Burgess Meredith. 

21  A lover of literature and books, Mr. Beemis alienates nearly everyone in his life. He loves all literature and absolutely lives and breathes it. He gets caught at his job as a bank clerk reading David Copperfield and is scolded by his boss. At home, his wife takes a crayon to a book of poetry, just to anger him. One morning he goes on his lunch break, which he takes in the bank's vault, and a nuclear bomb destroys everything in the world. 

22  The rest is history. I don't want to spoil, but I think most of you know what happens to poor old Mr. Beemis.

23  If you don't, ask a friend. 

24  Or just Google it and enjoy a spoiler.

25  Yup.

26  Welcome to 2018. 

27  How has your 2018 begun? Hopefully with a fresh start. 

28  Well, you know and I know there is probably no such thing as a true "fresh start" but if nothing particularly traumatic happened, count the blessing. 

29  Moving On, Part Two: I've turned into a winter guy lately. It's been a little too cold to go hiking, and nothing says winter like curling up on a couch with a book. 

30  Unfortunately, it is too easy to become comfortable with the relaxing life. I sometimes don't even feel like getting up to make a sandwich, because I'm in the middle of reading, or writing, or some other nonsense. 

31  Turns out I lost about six pounds NOT doing anything! 

32  Man, your body sure turns weird when you hit a certain age.

33  I was reasonably active during the summer, but that was then, and this is now. 

34  When I lose weight, my face is the first to show it. 

35  Anyway, for the first time in my life the doctor wants me to bulk up a little more. 

36  "Bulking up" sounds like weightlifting, which I swore off years ago. 

37  It was the same time of year, and I got a set of weights. Like everything I do in life I went overboard trying to "bulk up" and I threw my back out. We're talking maybe 26 or 27 years old. 

38  I walked around like Rabbit in Winnie-the-Pooh. 

39  

"Halllooooooo!"

40  Well, perhaps not that bad. 

41  I'm just not the bulking-up sort.

42  I am suitably comfortable in my own skin, however. 

43  If you were worried, which if you have any sense at all, you shouldn't be, rest easy.

44  I could handle most anything thrown at me. 

45  So, I imagine, could Mr. Beemis. 

46  So.

47  Beebee time?

48

 A Little Bit of Maren, Church and Steeple.

A Little Bit of Isla, Full of Grace.

A Little Bit of Jack, Aces are Wild.

49  Anybody lookin'?

50  I think maybe I stubbed my toe. 

51  I think maybe I gottago.

52  Have a GREAT day.

53  See you again.

54  And as always...

55  Live life.

56  Love life.

57  Peace.

~H~

fin.

The Once-in-a-While

Daily News

1  "Okay then, we'll see ya later!"

2  I overheard that comment yesterday morning at approximately 6:52 a.m. Garbage morning in these parts. I had gotten up pretty early and decided to turn all the Christmas lights on. 

3  Even though the parties were all over, I still wanted to do a couple things Christmassy. But I was also clean-centric. 

4  I was doing one of those deals where you go out to the garbage cans around six hundred times with individual items you forgot to bag.

5  And to me, I'd rather make the trip out than keep some bad-smelling stuff hanging around my sink, or even my garage, where I keep the cans.

6  I'm so anal that sometimes I freeze the garbage in our extra fridge in the garage.

7  So there I was, all silhouetted in my big ol' black shorts, taking one last real gander at our front-window Christmas display. It looked better than ever. And I couldn't help but glance down the street, where a van had its lights on.

8  "Okay then, we'll see you later."

9  And that was that.

10  Christmas, 2017. 

11  Tough Christmas. Lots of people seemed to be going through some really rough times. It's tough to list them here because I wish to respect everyone's privacy, but one thing did hold true through all of this: most people had a sense of this being a soulful Christmas. And even if it's bad, it's still soulfully good. 

12  So be merry. And now we begin to dismantle.

13  It's always so weird that New Year's is right down the street, getting set up by people who love wearing those New Year's glasses that have the New Year on them.

New Year's guy 2017. Last year's model.

New Year's guy 2005. Lennonesque.

New Year's glasses 2018. Faceless.

14  It's always been a bit gaudy to me. In my early days, I used to love blowing party horns and acting the fool.

15  And then I did the same thing in my later days. 

16  But somewhere in there...when does it happen??? Thirty? Forty? Somewhere, I began going to sleep on New Year's Eve right around 11 p.m. 

17  I'd watch all the hoopla on TV, and I'd see people cramming the streets in Chicago, New York, Detroit and yeah.

18  It NEVER had the same soul to me. 

19  And I was a Christmas Scrooge for years, and finally realized that much of Christmas IS the real deal. 

20  So feeling soulful isn't a bad thing.

21  I'd almost like New Year's to go away, but it's a cable car with screeching breaks. 

22  Like that?

23  Yeah, me neither. 

24  San Francisco kid. I was born there.

25  And I've always been proud of that.

26  AnywayZ...

27  I hear a garbage truck. That seems impossible since it is only 7:19 in the morning. This day is already ten times faster Christmas Day.

28  And that's when I wrote this. Yesterday. Tuesday. Even though today is Wednesday. 

29  You know why?

30  Ah, just because. 

31  Moving On, Part One: Sometimes when I write this stuff I cruise my folder of DN pics. I often copy/paste stuff if it looks like it would remain in keeping with the idiotic stylishness of this medium.

32  

33  Like that? "Medium."

34  Wasn't Christmas just a couple days ago?

35  I'm going to fish for a random DN pic. I have it in my mind's eye, but I don't know where it went. 

36  Hold on.

37  Hey. Found a few new ones. Why not? Here go:

38  Don't say I never did nuthin' for ya.

39  Jazzes it all up, doncha think?

40  I'm tellin' ya. 

41  It's out there.

42  That is all I have to say.

43  All you'll get from me is "Mum's the word!"

44  That's NEVER true.

45   Mum.

46  Moving On, Part Two: One of the funniest things I've seen in quite awhile on the social media happened on Christmas Eve. My good friend and former colleague Nicole Hermatz Devincenzi had ordered a cake from a local bakery and asked them to put Merry Christmas on it. I assume that whoever took the order asked her what it should say. If I know Nicole, she probably said words to the effect of, "Merry Christmas, with decor under it." She might have even wiggled her fingers to emphasize a little decor.  I mean she just wanted to get a cake and get out, like you do at a bakery.

47  Here is a picture of the cake right after she opened the box:

This made my entire day!

48  One of thousands of memories that happen this time of the year. That story will be handed down to future generations, all of whom should enjoy a hearty laugh. 

49  And so this is Wednesday.

50  I got Beatled out at Christmas. 

51  Amid all the wrapper paper and fun with family and all, I got a gift that knocked me out. 

52  I got this:

53

I got this. Thanks, Helene. 

LOOOVED it!!!

54  I always felt that Help! was brilliant, one of those movies that if you listen to the backstory, it painted itself. All of the added features and backstories ensure a lovely coloring of one of the wittiest and enjoyable films of all time. It is officially a classic. 

55  I got that and a lot more this Christmas.

56  Today, ladies and gents, is officially the day for you to sneak off, return a few items, and get yourself a gift for YOU. Most of you have earned it, some haven't, but you go around only once.

57  Spoil yourself. Indulge. It's the moment.

58   'Tis still the season, for one more day. Indulge. 

60  I gottago.

61  Have a GREAT day.

62  We'll see you again.

63  And as always:

64  Live life.

65  Love life.

66  Peace.

~H~

fin.