The Daily News

1  Happy Good Frideeeeeee!

2  Whoops.

3  M'bad.

4  That didn't come out right.

5  And to all you East-Siders, enjoy your week!

6  The world is your oyster, whatever that is supposed to mean. 

7  You can't slip that one past ol' Lousy-Analogies-'R'-Us over here.

8  A full week off for my East-Side peeps. 

9  Whew.

10  Oysters.

11  Hmm. Maybe that means, "The world is your shellfish that sometimes has sand inside."

12  Often eaten with garlic.

13  It sometimes comes with seaweed, if it is organic.

14  Nope.

15  Some analogies escape me. 

16  Maybe it is because I'm not a jewelry guy.

17  Don't get me wrong. I think lots of people look amazing in jewelry. Some people look great in hats. 

18  But I'm not a jewelry guy at all. 

19  I went through a few Puka shell phases, which is what white, surfer-type dudes do.

20  Then I discovered that they made candy Puka necklaces that you could eat.

21  That ended that. I think they make them as a gum now. Not interested. Sorry, surfer dudes. That's my take on that one. 

22  Moving On, Part One: There is nothing like writing one of these, posting it, and then immediately writing another. 

23  I just glanced up from some old movie or other.  Ann-Margaret just hopped into bed with Steve McQueen. Ooh-la-LA. 

24   Personally I'd rather goof on oyster-analogies. 

25  Va-va-voom.

26   I just pressed the movie guide thingy on my remote.

27  The movie is called The Cincinnati Kid. 

28  Gambling movie.

29  No wonder I never watched it.

30  Such an odd addiction to me. 

31  Everybody has some sort of addiction, I suppose.

32  Anyway, I found myself writing this stuff yesterday for today, which is Good Friday.

33  For a brief second, I thought yesterday was Good Friday while I was writing this. 

34  I looked up at the clock and saw that it was 12:30.

35  At noon I should have stopped all activity, for the three hours Christ spent on the cross.

36  I felt a fear run through me. It ran barefoot and quiet, but cold, and astonishingly quick.

37  Then it occurred to me: I didn't have to worry until noon today. Because yesterday wasn't Good Friday. Today is. 

38  That all remains weird to me. I still get gripped with fear if I find myself doing anything remotely fun between the hours of noon and three on Good Friday. 

39  AND I shouldn't eat meat, although I thought the Church lifted that ban. Even if they did, I still hold onto major guilt if I eat meat on Good Friday. Why?

40  I never left the Church. I don't attend church though. Yet I never left it.

41  You can't.

42  And maybe that's a good thing. I still pray for everyone, and send good thoughts and all. I certainly pray anytime I'm in a church. I have prayed and been answered. I don't know that the praying did it. I do think a positive attitude can work for you. If that's praying, then so be it. 

43  I've had people come up to me and say, "So...you're an ex-Catholic?"

44  My answer: "If you consider yourself a Catholic, then you must know that there is no such thing as an 'ex-Catholic'." Why is it that I still shiver when someone asks me if we should get The Exorcist on Netflix?

45  Oh, HAILLLLLLL no. 

46  When I found myself flat on my back awaiting the results of an ultrasound for a blood clot, I stared at the hospital ceiling, and worried and prayed.

47  So.

48  You have your beliefs. I have mine. 

49  There is no such thing as an ex-Catholic any more than there is such a thing as an ex-CIA agent. 

50  For instance, I always love the story of the Passion of Christ, particularly on Good Friday. For a while there, I used to listen to Jesus Christ Superstar beginning at noon on a series of Good Fridays. And, for the record, Godspell remains my favorite show as a director. I'm Bible Bob over here. 

51  And what I saw in Tahoe the other day, the sun, the sky, the reflecting frost, and the mountaintops: all that stuff provided. 

52  Do I believe all those religious stories?

53  Look. Most stories that have been passed through the ages have been severely altered. I maintain moments of extreme spirituality, and I believe in coincidences, since they happen to me SO often. 

54  I also believe in telekinesis, but only because I have experienced it in light doses, particularly with that beat-up umbrella that used to hang upside-down in the Piano Lab at Y.B. Anyone out there ever watch that thing move on command? It did. I will tell you that much. And others saw it, not just me. They thought I was rigging something, but nope. And why on Earth would I make that up? It happened, and it happened often. It always brought smiles, or raised eyebrows. I loved it. Coincidence? Who knows. It worked WAY more than it didn't. And it was painted in almost Easter colors. I recall a little pink, some light blue, and a dash of spattering of the two. 

55  So enjoy a great Easter weekend. No rabbit jokes, or chocolate bunny jokes, nor any sort of bunny jokes. Go outside and appreciate the miracle of Spring.

56  And lo, very soon thou shalt see the real baseball season begin. 

57  You all have a delightful weekend, and if you are off work next week, do something for you. Who deserves it more?

58  I gottago. The DN will be out all next week because it is the Easter Break, and I go by the school's schedule. I'll still pop up online and make a fool of myself, but I won't be back until a week from Tuesday! I'm going to enjoy the time off. So enjoy everything, and hug life for me. I will miss you. 

59  Peace.

fin.

The Daily News

1  Amazing day, yesterday was!

2  I was in the midst of sending out the DN when Helene texted me from her Mom's. I was stretching out, relaxing and this came down the pike:

"Did u hear from

Linda? Meet her at

the Beacon today!

Be careful if you do."

3  Okay. If you are a Tahoe person, you know the Beacon.

4  The Beacon is a famous bar/restaurant that sits right on the tip of the Lake, next to Camp Richardson. It is famous for its Rum Runners, a mysterious rum drink that is worshiped by the Tahoe gods. 

5  And you can enjoy your meal outside, most any time of day. You go to the Beacon, you own the bragging rights.

Live music, all styles.

Two feet away from the live music.

6  It also symbolizes summer, to us summer Tahoe sorts. 

7  What was fun about Linda's text is that I finally realized I am officially living near Tahoe. Sacramento is near Tahoe. That text never woulda worked in San Jose. 

8  I don't think. I might have gone anyway, but that is just a nifty fifty-fifty.

9  But Sac to Tahoe?  Could I go from San Jose to Monterey and back home on the same day?

10  Pssssssssht!

11  I was packed and gone within twenty minutes, and I never looked back.

12  I had already made it up to Auburn, took historic Highway 49 through Cool, and then through the Marshall Gold Discovery site in Coloma, and on to Placerville the very day before.

13  So yesterday was breezy. It has been all Tahoe, this entire week. On Saturday, my cousin Marcia and her husband Jeff had a huge party, the topic being this: Our Tahoe digs got pulled from under us. The owners sold the place we have visited for years, and we need to discuss it. Allow me to throw some overly brief background up there for you:

14  We used to take over an entire resort for two straight weeks, and had enormous parties complete with cocktail hours that became almost two to three hours (it takes longer for briquettes to light up at higher elevations). Different dinner dishes got prepared in nearly every cabin, so it became a food-fest extraordinaire. Music played everywhere you walked. On different nights, Bocce Ball tournaments or Ping Pong games livened the evenings. TV's had Giants and A's games facing out, the pool and hot tub area stayed in use even when the stars came out, and after dinner, tons of candy and desserts would find their way to the tables, as games would be set up in rooms, or guitars might come out for sing-alongs. Each night was different. Some were blow-out fun, others were calmer. In short: a classic 'Murican vacay. 

15  And that was every night! Most days were spent with Pope Beach as the meeting place. From there, people kayaked, played badminton, built sand castles, hiked, biked, and enjoyed all that Tahoe has to offer. 

16  And it was a GREAT time for the kids, who would invent all sorts of fun games, and who would figure out how to have a bunch of fun. Kids are experts at fun! Auntie Amy invented Ice Cream for Breakfast, so that's just an idea of the sorts of things kids could do. If you know kids, you know what they can do!

17  And suddenly, this major shift happened. Nowhere for us to stay. This past Saturday night, my cousin Marcia and her husband Jeff threw an enormous party, where issues were discussed. 

18  One thing was certain: the old place was on its way out. I had heard that one loud and clear. We had a ton of fun partying and having yet another sensational time, but near the end, we had some decisions to consider.

19  There was some talk of going to a different area, but in the end, the reality was this: it looked a whole bunch like we all had to find places in the same area, at least for this year. 

20  That seemed the final sentiment upon departure Saturday evening. It seemed obvious that the new owners weren't too concerned about notifying the people who had made reservations at the end of summer.

21  I move fast when it comes to things like that. My sister Linda talked to the old manager, but he seemed oblivious as to what the new people's intentions were. One thing was clear as a bell: the new ownership didn't seem the least bit interested in the families who had been coming up for years. In a way, I don't blame them. It's their place. They invested the money. They could choose the customers. That's business. 

22  I already knew what was up, and my daughter Caitlin had already researched rentals in the area. We all talked of options, but it kept coming back to staying in the same area, at least for this year. A series of "Thank you's" to Marcia and Jeff for the party led to us posting websites of places that had rentals. Almost immediately everyone began booking places.  

23  So yesterday I was dressed, pressed, and out the door as soon as I heard from Linda. Hey, any excuse to hit Tahoe in March, right? Good weather. Great day. And it turned out great.  

24  The ride to Tahoe rocked. Everything came alive: the sun shone brightly, the hills had fresh powder, and the water splashed furiously. Even areas that never had waterfalls in the summertime had them in droves. I boomed some rock with the windows open, and flew up to the Lake. Our rendezvous point: 7-11. Linda's husband Randy suggested it. I laughed. When I later asked him "Why 7-11?" He replied, "If we park at the Alpina Coffee Shop our cars will be towed!"

25  Ha! SO true!

26  I don't often go to Tahoe in the winter. I never was a skier, and I always feared my car sliding off the hill and into a canyon. Yesterday may have changed all that. The day was glorious! If you have ever gone to Tahoe via Highway 50, you know that once you hit Echo Summit, you get met with an incredible reveal of the Lake. You go around a series of turns, and it is suddenly off in the distance, a stunning sight on even a normal day. 

27  With all of the snow, shadows, and vistas, it almost took me off the road. I swooned, and a part of me got caught up.

28  But I have an old saying:  There is no crying in Tahoe. Still, LOTS of memories. It is okay to get a bit sentimental, that's for certain. 

29  When I reached 7-11...well, I don't have to tell you how emotional those places are, I parked back a bit in an area where you could barely see the lines. 

30  Some guy in a huge truck flew in, gave me a dirty look, parked in front of the store, and shot me another dirty look.

31  Evidently I was parked too close for him to back straight out. He was getting a DVD from a Red Box. 

32  He got his DVD, hopped in his truck, and squealed out, almost hitting me, then leaving a thin mist of idiocy in the air that the rest of us had to breathe. Tahoe does have those sorts. Morons. I wrote a poem about morons once. It was called "Morons." That guy was a flame-throwing moron. And yet, he was a poem. 

33  I texted Linda, and within seconds they were there.

34  She and Randy had spent the morning scouting around, so we toured all the rentals the family had posted. Amazingly nice cabins, and almost all within a walking radius. 

35  Great times. We got over to the Beacon, and looked out on the wonderfully familiar view. Tahoe. The pier. Majestic Mt Tallac, showing her full power over the entire area.This prompted me to point up at her and say, "I got you twice, bit(#h!"

37  I have conquered that 7,935 foot monstrosity twice. My sister Gayle had done it many more times, as have Marcia and Jeff, but still.  For the hikers out there, the climb is quite similar to Half Dome, without the rails. 

38  Interestingly, Linda asked, "Are you going to try going up this year?"

39

40  "I'm not sure. I really don't think so. But who knows?"

41  That was a reference to my working my legs since last summer, when I could barely walk. 

42  My legs could do it; I just don't know if my lungs are quite ready. A definite "maybe" for the first time in years. 

43  Anyway, after the Beacon, we went back to the old spot to give a final look. The Lodge. It was abandoned. One car in the back, nobody in the office. It was a silent ghost town. 

44  That also caught me up. Lots of beautiful memories, more than I could bear.

45  Randy convinced us to head home via the Emerald Bay lookout, Eagle Falls, and Vikingsholm, a trip that could only stop the heart. 

46  What a treat! The sun stayed out, and everything came alive. It bordered on religious, no kidding. The snow, the shadows, the sun, the awesomeness of the Sierra all combined to making the ride home the highlight of the day.

47  I could go on. We found some cottages up at North Shore that were right out of Snow White. AND they were close to rafting on the Truckee River. 

48  And the best part of our day: hopping on Highway 80 and flying back home during that lovely sunset last night. At one point I was soaring over the tops of trees, only to find I was moving past Donner Summit. Majestic. Grande. Dizzying, and clearly beyond words. 

49  At one point, we all got separated by Roseville, which is where those guys live. I gave a wave, headed home, rustled up a little grub, and wrote all this.

50  Hope you enjoyed it. I sure did. 

51  Still smiling'. Gottago.

52  See you again.

53  Peace.

~H~

fin.

DISCLAIMER

The only pictures I took on this entire DN

were the last three Tahoe pics: Emerald Bay, the long

shadow of myself, and the sunrise at the bottom

of the page. 

The picture of us three at the top of the page 

was taken by a bear. 

Peace.

The Daily News

1  Last night I got a Dove chocolate fortune.

2  It said, "Anywhere here but home."

3  To begin, that wasn't a bad "fortune," except I had already done that earlier in the day.

4  Sidebar: Dove has changed its fortunes to social media references of late. It is filled with things like "Text someone." Or even deeper: "Don't text. Call."

5  I find it annoying, but I guess the world needs to morph itself to the latest inventions or trends. 

6  If you were getting annoyed by that, I was too.

7  For the record.

8  When I sat down last night and read the "Anywhere here but home" fortune, I had already finished with a full and energetic day. So it was a lousy word of advice, even though I still needed to do more walking. 

9  I had just finished dinner, and was in the midst of a cup of coffee and some dessert, the dessert being a few Dove's.

10  I opened another Dove. Know what it said?

11  "Anywhere here but home." Yup Two in a row. 

12   See sidebar, above.

13  The day yesterday began fast. Helene and Caitlin were taking the babies up to Grammy's home in Paradise for a couple of girls' nights.

14  "Get lost on purpose." Sorry. Another word of advice after the fact.

15  Maybe I oughta give up chocolate altogether. Let's go back to yesterday morning, if you please.

16  The babies were so cute in the morning I almost couldn't stand it. I got to keep them busy while everyone else packed and organized.

17  The way I see that one is that I got the long straw.

18  It took a bit, at least one go-round with Winnie the Pooh, but the babies settled in, and saying good-bye was a little tough. Caitlin got them into the van. 

19  I kissed my front fingers and touched kid on the head, because I couldn't crank my neck to get it into the van. I just backed up, let the van out, and watched them disappear around the corner.

20  "Anywhere here but home." And yes, I did just pop another chocolate.

21  Re-read the Sidebar one more time.

22  Yeesh.

23  Anyway, maybe all these repeat fortunes magically entered my head before I opened them, because yesterday after I cleaned the house, I got bored. I wanted to do stuff around the house, but I also thought, "Get out of the house!" Keep in mind, this is before I got home and read my fortunes for the day.

24  My original plan was to go over to Home Depot and see if I could buy anything I might need to begin a mini-project for the house. 

25  As I got closer to Home Depot, I needed to get over one lane. 

26  My only problem was this: everyone in that lane was a Mr. Wheeler.

27  One guy almost swiped me across three lanes, and others sped up even though I had my signal going. 

28  Did I get upset?

29  Nope. The Home Depot is around twenty yards to the Highway 80 turnoff leads either to San Francisco, or to Reno.

30  I chose the latter. Tahoe beckoned. I needed to see those hills and streams.

31  I shot up 80, and decided that I would either drive up to Auburn, just because I always loved that town, or Reno, which was too far, plus I don't gamble much. Never cared for it. I do like hills and streams though, so off I went. 

32  Within an hour I found myself cruising the foothills of the Sierra. 

33  I then remembered a time I missed the Highway 50 transition to Tahoe and wound up going up 80. I had decided to cross over historical Highway 49, drive through Gold Country, and visit the Marshall Gold Discovery site. My recollection was a good one. 

34  I put that plan into action, and soon found myself driving past the North Fork of the Sacramento River. The area knocked me out. Hundreds of cars lined the area, and young people, kids, and old people walked around in wet suits. This is mid-day yesterday.

35  I passed by the entrance to some of the greatest whitewater rafting spots in the world. The hills, the sky, and the smiles turned the day into something extraordinary.

36  Sidebar Two: The Robert Altman film of MASH just came on. Suicide is Painless is playing as I write. 

37  WAY better than the TV show, in my humble opinion.

38  IMHO.

39  I'll finish fast.

40  I took the road all the way through. I passed through Cool, California. I didn't take a pic of the sign, but I thought it was a cool place, and I became envious. This gal with burgundy hair and a tie-dye dress walked past. Dogs and puppies ran around yipping and enjoying the sunshine.

41  I got to the Gold Discovery Area, and over-ran it. I pulled onto a side road that had this tiny old building on its property. A closer look saw that it was the Olde Coloma Theatre. It was  way run-down, but had a few announcements in a wood-and-glass case. Nobody was around, but the afternoon was moving swiftly, so I needed to move on.

42  I did see a sign pointing to the Marshal Gold Discovery Monument. I turned the car left and drove up the road a few feet. 

43  A sign said, "Highway 153. California's Shortest State Highway."

44  It is just about a half mile. 

45  I smiled. I saw a small parking spot and another building but once again decided not to go in. The entire trip was a whim anyway.

46  I returned to Highway 49, a much longer highway, drove a ways. The area charmed me, just a lovely little cruise. I eventually found a winding hill that led through the side streets of Placerville. 

48  I loved all of it, but decided to turn it all around and head back. I have driven Highway 50 through Sacramento many times, so all became recognizable. 

49  The ride home was swift, way faster than I remembered. Before I knew it I was on my way home.

50  "Don't you use...olives?"

51  Trapper John. A line from MASH just startled me. Elliot Gould. 

52  So my day became a mini-trip to the Sierra. By the time I got home, I felt a clear mind and enjoyed an instant memory.

53  I loved it. I guess I loved it because I finally broke away and drove somewhere aimlessly. This was one of those trips that designed itself, almost like climbing aboard a new amusement park ride. 

54  The day settled, I cooked a great meal, put on some movies, and had coffee and Dove's.

55  And I finished with MASH, a short indoor-hike, and lights out.

56  There are worse things. One final sidebar: I was walking around the kitchen and the living room to get some stepping mileage, MASH playing in the background. I found myself counting the amount of laps I was taking. The climax of the film was approaching: the football game. I heard the familiar music, and all of the great lines. I knew the ending, so on lap 34 I stopped, and watched the MASH unit's dramatic touchdown. Guess who scored it?

57  Number 34. Gottago. The time has come for us to say "Sayonara."

58  See you again.

59  Have a GREAT day.

60  Peace.

~H~

fin.

Disclaimer from Wiki

Although the California Department of Transportation has posted a sign indicating that SR 153 is "California's shortest state highway", it is not: SR 77, SR 265, and SR 283 are all shorter. However, these highways are merely short connections between other highways.