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2 The rough drafts take around five years, the edits six or seven.
3 Sometimes stuff unravels despite all the meticulous work and attention to detail.
4 Sometimes news breaks during composition.
5 Sometimes I dozzzzzzzzzzzzzzze. Okay most times I doze. So I exaggerated. I'm one of those annoying sorts who needs constant validation.
6 Each morning I come back to the DN and apply my final edits. I want to make sure I have put an apostrophe in ain't, for example.
7 The last two entries I did very little, the two I posted on Wednesday and Thursday.
8 So here's the reality check: I got three times the amount of people viewing than I normally do. They call them "hits" in the industry.
9 This bloggy thingy I use for this nonsense has some sort of Viewometer that shows graphic charts with triangular parabolas that give me essential data.
10 It even greens out different parts of the world, all of which indicates to me that I must be super famous. It goes to Ukraine.
11 Right now that's not particularly a good thing.
12 I rarely look at it. But I do notice the occasional flurry of hits, and wonder what pushed people's buttons. The last two days: off the charts.
13 I'm not really a data dude.
14 I should be; I'm just not.
15 Too many other things to do.
16 fdfdsafadfds.
17 That's sort of a thumb twiddle.
18 The data I gathered over the past two days tells me one thing: the less time I spend on this, the more readers I get.
20 I reckon that's akin to getting lots of money for doing nuttin'.
21 Naturally I live for that.
22 Ah meh.
23 Hmmm.
24 Maybe I'll get famous.
25
26 I KNOW, I KNOW.
27 Sidebar: This isn't sour grapes or anything, but who in their right mind would WANT to get famous anyway?
28 I watched Am Idol last night and the contestants said that some girl cried when she touched one of the singers.
29 I think of Lennon's famous or infamous Jesus remark.
30 How did people not get what he was saying?
31 We get sold and pounded with celebrities and many people care more about all that hype than they do about their own kids.
32 There's a reason I have a job.
33 fdfaskfsdajfds.
34 Moving On, Part One: This one goes out to some long-time listeners. I once was asked to pass some pointers on to the other members of the faculty. It wasn't just me, just an arbitrary group of us.
35 I thought about it and thought about it and came up with what I call the Four-Head Rule.
36 If you're a teacher and you REALLY think your lesson is kick ass, look out at your crowd. If you see even one head conked out on a desk, you've already lost around a third of the class.
37 Something like that. If two heads are down, probably half.
38 If three heads are down, switch whatever it is you're doing dude. Now. That's a red alert. They just aren't that into you.
39 If FOUR heads are down it's over. Turn off your projector, your power point, and your flashy presence, put your tail between your legs and leave.
40 Yesterday I knew my stuff wasn't on. I did have to alter my lesson plans this week, so I somehow can hug that but really? Horrid. The students in my third period deserve an apology. I want to give the taxpayers their money back.
41 I recovered rather swiftly, but knew I had to do something during my next class to rally the troops.
42 The bell rang, they shuffled in and I started. I got to the very point where I had lost my previous class and stopped.
43 The other day I told them about how Ponch used to sneak up on my room, hide behind a tree, pop out with a wave, and pop back behind a tree. He ALWAYS knew he was disrupting, but he would keep it up 'til they would all laugh.
44 He would then hop in the doorway and say, "Excuse me Mr. Harrington, but just what is it you're teaching these youngsters?" He would then give what can only be described as a shit-eating smile.
45 I wouldn't miss a beat and say, "Why we're learning all about prepositions Mr. Poniticelli! Would you care to join us?"
46 "Why certainly, certainly, certainly," He would then grab a piece of chalk, talk to the class a bit about how at a job interview he once gave the greatest performance of his life, and that he knew it. Here are his words. Roughly:
47 "So I looked at the guy interviewing and knew he HAD to hire me. He stopped, looked at my resume, looked up and then he said, 'Well, this all looks pretty good. You are clearly everything we need in a candidate. We have just one last question for you.
48 'Do you know what a preposition is?' "
49
50 He would then look at my class and say, "So kids, it's pretty important for you to know this stuff. The prepositions are..."
51 And he would proceed to write all 22 commonly used prepositions on the board. Every year he would do this, and every year he would nail them, all of them, right out of Warriner's English Grammar and Composition, the granddaddy of them all.
52 Let's return to the present. Yesterday I stopped short on my preposition lesson and said, "You know, I told you about my friend Mr. Ken Ponticelli form Indy, right?" They all nodded. One head was already down.
53 "Would you like me to call him up and see if he could still do it?" Of course they wanted me to do that!
54 I stopped everything, pulled out my iPhone and called.
55 It rang for a while and then I heard a voice.
56 "Cabal." I almost lost it. We have a bunch of nicknames and that was one I insisted on being called one year in Tahoe, no reason.
57 "Whattup my brutha from another mutha."
58 The class instantly lit up, because I went from being one boring teacher to two idiotic goofballs. We played it as though it were scripted.
59 "Do you recall when you used to...walk up to my room, hide behind a tree, and interrupt my lessons?"
60 "Why yes sir Mr. Harrington, I must confess I do remember doing such things." These are all words to that effect. I didn't record it. If you know us, you know it's accurate.
61 We held court for the first time in a few years. My class was rollin'. Not heads down. I finally put him to it. "Do you think you can recite the prepositions right now, right here, live?"
62 He expected it, but still said, "Oh Jeez! Oh God, uh...yeah I...okay..."
63 He then went on to rattle off every single one, in alphabetical order, no book. My students HAD a Warriner's list and he was spot on. "I may have left out 'against,' he mused.
64 We rolled it down, and we all said our good-byes.
65 My students got their prepositions, and I dodged the dreaded four heads. Everything elevated and I got back to having total game the remainder of the day.
66 So this one goes out to Ponch. You still got it man.
67 Reality check.
68 Mic check one.
69 Gottago. Have a GREAT day.
70 Peace.
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