The Daily News

1  There is a movie on LMN right now called Look Who's Stalking.

2   

3   You gotta love it.

4   I have no idea what it is or what it's about, but I love the title.

5   LMN is this channel that has nothing but Lifetime movies.

6   Those are movies that begin with people who are really happy and often in love, but who usually end with someone chasing someone else around a two-storey house, usually with that someone wielding a bloody knife. 

7   Nobody ever locks their doors nor draws their curtains in these movies. 

8   I personally don't watch them very often. 

9   When I do, I always find myself an hour or two in screaming, "Who WATCHES this stuff?"

10   

11   Uhhhh...

12   

13  Okay, next item.

14   fdfafdfdfafafadf.

15  Think it'll rain?

16   Nah, me neither.

17   I'm pretty sure it's the Man.

18   I'm pretty sure everything is the Man nowadays.

19   Look Who's Stalking is brought to you by Milk Bones.

20   Happy to share that tidbit.

21   Moving On, Part One: Yesterday one of my awesome colleagues, Melinda Panes, shared a Romeo and Juliet lesson plan where she has the students do a trial for Friar Laurence.

22   "How'd it come out?" I asked. 

23   "I'll bet he fried."

24   She laughed. I caught her off guard. We had a laugh. English nerd laughs. 

25   That was a nice meeting. We simply traded one or two best practices and then went home. 

26   That's my kind of meeting. 

27   If you HAVE to have a meeting. 

28   

29   Bleh.

30   Moving On, Part Two: Headline in today's Merc: Vogelsong tagged for four homers. 

31   I watched. He should have been yanked after his second pitch. How was that left to happen? I once again began screaming at nobody in particular.

32  Three home runs in the first inning? Are you kidding me? That guy needed a much shorter leash. 

33   

34   Ah, vell. 

35   On the front page of the sports was this headline: Baltimore riots lead to Orioles, White Sox playing in empty Camden Yards. Attendance 0. Has that ever happened before?

36   Did they close all the bars?

37   They should never have allowed Geraldo Rivera to walk the streets. 

38   

39   It's the Man. I'm tellin' ya.

40   I'm moving to Sac, but I'm thinking twice. I may move to a cave. 

41   The trouble with commenting on the news is that you have to comment on the news. 

42   There is a nicer piece, same page, hidden. Here's THAT headline, all caps and bold, but small font: APPARENTLY, NO SHORTAGE OF LIBRARIES IN RAIDER NATION.

43  Here is the brief article, in the Names in the news column of today's Merc Sports:

  The Wall Street Journal asked an automated proofreading company to rank each NFL fan base on its writing skills, and it turns out that members of the Raider Nation, despite their reputation for crudeness, are a literate bunch.

   Grammarly, the proofreading company, can use algorithms (those are rhythms of Al Gore, pretty sure) to check writing for more than 400 types of spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. It reviewed 150 reader comments that were at least 50 words long from the news section of each NFL team website.

   Raiders fans tied for seventh with 5.9 mistakes per 100 words, while the 49ers fans were in the middle of the pack, ranking 16th with 7.0 mistakes per 100 words. Lions fans topped the list with 4.2 mistakes per 100 words. 

  The Wall Street Journal pointed out that Lions fans are helped by no longer having to spell "Ndamukong" now that Ndamukong Suh is with the Miami Dolphins.

44   I once messed around with Grammarly, nerd that I am. I wrote around 500 words using words spelled correctly but with different meanings (break v. brake, for example) and filled with errors they never detected. I decided against using it as a teacher, although students with better reading and writing skills could certainly benefit from its use.

45  This rag could probably benefit with a little sprucing up, but for now, I'll keep its goofy bumbling.

46   Anybody lookin'?

47    And here, for the faint of heart, is the definition of an algorithm: a computation using arithmetic.

48  Who knew?

49  Gottago.

50  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

51  See you again.

52   Peace.

~H~

The Daily News

1   Yawn. 

2   No one was around last night so I partied like it's 2015, which is to say I got to sleep around 8:30.

3   Yee-uh.

4   AND I refused to grade any papers.

5

6   I am such a rebel.

7   Dang.

8   Don't get old.

9   I awakened to watch the second go-round of the Giants/Bums game. 

10  Baseball.

11  Arguably the most delightful game on the planet.

12  When you win and the Dodgers lose, that is. 

13   I love that rivalry.

14   I love it because Dodger fans are just as crazy as Giants fans. 

15   I keep imagining directing Romeo and Juliet using both houses. The Giants would be the Montagues.

16   I'm pretty sure it's been done, and that it probably was horrid, but the temptation...

17

18   I'm all about temptation, as any fool knows. 

19  

20   Yeah, like I'm tempted to go to sleep.

21   Sleep becomes you when you get older.

22   Anyone lookin'?

23   

24   Ah, it's all good. 

25   Moving On, Part One: Does anyone else want to pull covers over their heads and hide from the world?

26  I can't believe some of the crapola I see in the news. 

27  I'm pretty sure that a lot of the news is controlled by the Man.

28  So much of it is absolute boushit and stuff. Everywhere you look there are liars and fake news. 

29   I usually ask, "What's the agenda?"

30   Or more directly: "Who's making money off this?"

31   Don't get old. 

32   I swear.

33   But listen to old coots who know how the system manipulates thought. 

34   

35   Just an old geezer giving a shout out to young people. 

36   They REALLY do lie, always have, and always will. 

37   

38   And we old coots are now talking about the world our children and our grandchildren are going to live in. 

39   Teach kindness and empathy, but keep an eye out for the idiots who wish to control things. 

40  Most of the truth is blatant and evident. 

41  Read Family of Secrets by Russ Baker. Google it. It's just about all you need to read to get started. 

42   I've been on this stuff for about a thousand years. 

43   The lies these people have fed us are much more obvious as time rolls on. 

44   Look into 9/11. That entire thing was deplorable. Bring people who were in on it to justice. 

45   Hang 'em.

46   And hang 'em high. 

47   

48   <stepping down from soap box>

49

50   Do they even make soap boxes?

51   Ah, sorry. I just am into the 4 a.m. and there is a drone hanging outside my window filming all of this, I'm quite sure.

52   When did it come to all this?

53   Ah, it's all good. I've flowers, a clean house, and folks who likes me.

54   Who could ask for anything more?

55   Gottago.

56   Have a SHORT day!

57   See you again.

58   Peace.

~H~

The Daily News

1   I peek out and see it is Tuesday.

2   Somebody stretched Monday out like a hot piece of McCraw's Taffy.

3

4   Only on a Tuesday would a metaphor that bad find its way here.

5   Ay, me.

6  

7    Boy the PTA sure did a good job of painting these benches.

8   Anybody lookin'?

9   We had an earthquake drill yesterday.

10  It went on for over 25 minutes, and was for one period only.

11  

12  I'm glad the kids are safe. 

13  As a teacher, I had my own earthquake drill in August, immediately following the Napa quake, because it's an easy thing to do in a few minutes of class. I researched it, watched police videos, emailed the best practice to the office, and drilled my students on exactly what to do.

14   Took around ten minutes per class. 

15  

16   When you teach, you want your like classes on the same page each period. For example, if I have four classes of English 2A, and we are studying Midsummer, I want all of us on Act 3, Sc. 1 throughout the day. It makes planning much easier. 

17  Each time we have something coming into one class, it throws everything off and becomes a minor logistical nightmare. 

18  This is why teachers go crazy any time there are class interruptions. Some of us actually plan our lessons, almost to the minute. We are flexible, but by the end of the day we want all our classes beginning with the same stuff the following day. 

19   We leave a few minutes for interruptions and things, but overall we want to begin each day with everything lined up, and end each day in approximately the same place.

20  When that unhinges, it can confuse even the most brilliant among us.

21

22   That would not include this Old Brown Shoe. 

23   When you reach a certain age, you walk into the garage and forget why. 

24

25   That begins at around the age of 25.

26   

27    If you have reached a quarter of a century you know I'm right. 

28   Here's the good news: it doesn't get better, but it doesn't get THAT much worse. It is just a constant.

29   I remember years ago opening a cabinet and seeing a quart of milk.

30

31  How and when was life THAT busy?

32   Ah, it is what it is. 

33   fsdafafdfdf.

34   I love doing that. 

35   Just fiddling on the keyboard. 

36   It makes no journalistic sense, which is why I am an amateur, even though I've written this stuff for nineteen years. 

37   

38   It's all good.

39   

40   I am into the 3:02 in the morning. I fell into a minor coma watching the second go-round of the Giants/Dodgers eighth inning last night. 

41   Funny, baseball. 

42   You think you have three world championship rings, and you look up and there are guys named Duffy at bat. 

43   And Susak catching. And Pagan running into a wall. 

44

45   Where are the 2014 Giants? 

46   Meanwhile, you look at the Dodgers and see a team that has been purchased with LOTS of money. 

47   I looked at the Giants last night and it felt like we got all our guys from a yard sale at Savers. 

48   Ah, whatevs. 

49   Long season. I still loves baseball. And yes, I can put on blinders and keep rooting. That's how we won it all last year. And baseball itself puts comfortable blinders on lots of other things. 

50

51   I get to ignore a lot of other crapola in the news, for example. 

52   And it passes the time, thus the handle. Thus. 

53   There are worse things. And I've seen them all this year. So I'll just pull the blankets over my head, forget about that ball game, or late earthquake drills and count my blessings along with my sheep. 

54   I gottago. It is officially into the 3:09. 

55   Have a GREAT day. Don't let anyone mess it up. 

56   See you again.

57   Peace. 

~H~

The Daily News

1   Monday.

2   It has officially become the new Tuesday.

3   My older philosophy was that Mondays are an automatic lost cause, so most people are prepared for it. It's sort of like putting on a warm coat and gloves when a cold weather front is predicted. 

4   What people never plan for is Tuesdays, which is why I have felt for some time that Tuesday should be eliminated as a day of the week. 

5   This offended people who were born on Tuesdays. 

6

7   To be honest, I would have to look at an almanac to know what day of the week I was born.

8   Back to my thesis, I am officially disoriented on Mondays.

9   Too much weirdness going on, I imagine.

10  We just bought a house in Sac, and now have a for sale sign in front of my San Jo home. 

11   We have also been "staging," which means making it look like nobody lives there.

12  This is nearly an impossibility if you are a teacher, since grading papers takes up two or three rooms if you are me. 

13   I have morphed the work bench in my garage as my new desk.

14  Everything has shifted. It's sort of like when you move your boss's waste basket to the opposite side of his or her desk, just to watch them get disoriented. 

15   

16   You've never...

17   NVM.

18   

19   I was about to say that if you multiply that disorientation times about a million, you will have some idea why I keep turning around in circles every time I need anything.

20  I have a bag of ties somewhere in the garage.

21  I'm never sure where my shoes are. 

22  

23   There are worse things. 

24   I need an extra ten minutes in order to do little stuff, like putting on socks. 

25   Gotta find 'em first. 

26   THEN gotta find a matching set, which is impossible for most people. 

27   

28  It's the Man.

29  Moving On, Part One: Did you ever listen to a radio show in the middle of the night, and get haunted by it later into the night?

30  I was listening to some show or other and they talked about how the police are going to be using drones to spy on everyone, and how much safer we will all be. 

31  I then heard a noise which sounded like a gigantic hummingbird just outside my window. 

32  I was afraid to raise the shade. 

33  Turned out it was just the fan. 

34  My hearing is beginning to disappear so things sound like they're coming from different places. 

35   It doesn't help that when I take roll these days, several different people will help me by saying, "Here."

36  Nice students too. But I'll call a guy's name and expect to hear a deep voice, and a girl with a high voice will say, "Here." Or three students will say "Here" simultaneously. 

37   

38   Oh, sometimes I think I must go mad!

39

40   Anybody lookin'?

41   Well, it's Monday, so I think I'll cut this short. 

42  

43   I seem to be saying that every day these last few weeks. 

44   

45  Before I go, I would like so send a lot of love and prayers to the people of Nepal, as well as anybody directly affected by that tragedy. 

46  Okay, you take care. 

47   I gottago.

48   See you again.

49   Peace.

~H~