The DN

1   Christmas Break!

2   Whew.

3   Tough year.

4   Was I politically incorrect using the term "Christmas?"

5   All apologies.

6   Wow. It hasn't occurred to me that I have some time finally. Not used to it.

7   I must confess I've enjoyed doing most of my work at the school. I've actually gotten better at grading things fast. 

8   A whole bunch of us were in the hall yesterday talking about how we never realized how much work we do.

9  I'm pretty sure admin hasn't the faintest.

10  And I mean that with all due respect. 

11  If we actually worked our real hours, we'd never get anything done. 

12  But yesterday I stopped after school and went out to lunch with just myself. 

13  Had a fat bowl of hot pho and goofed around on Facebook. I should have been doing so many other things, but I didn't care. Howzbout THAT?

14  Got home and my nephew Jessie was still at the house putting in a new fence for us. I thought he'd have been gone or I wouldn't have gone to the restaurant. 

15  Catholic guilt. 

16  You haven't lived, trust me.

17   Anyway, he had just finished cleaning stuff up, so we chatted and had a cold one. 

18  After he left I hopped on the couch, threw a Kennedy documentary on and took a well-earned snooze. 

19  I still had time to find a crab cake recipe, cook me up some crab cakes and enjoy a meal that was healthy and fun. 

20  Helene got home and was in rare form. She had me laughing all night. 

21  Maybe it's Christmas, iono.

22  We watched Chopped, this competitive cooking show, and she started goofing on people's noses. 

23  I have NO idea why THAT was funny, but it was. 

24  Maybe it's because even we old brown shoes can act a bit immature at times. 

25  Nothing wrong with a healthy laugh, especially when it rolls into the entire evening. 

26   So new fence, afternoon laughs, snoozing, cooking and laughing still more > grading, grumbling, planning and all the rest. 

27  And there is much more to come as we go visiting this holiday season.

28  Good times.

29  I'm going to enjoy them more and more. 

30  Life's way too short not to. 

31  So I'll keep this one WAY short.

32   Get out there and have some fun. 

33   If you're grumpy, ungrump.

34   The DN is going off the air for a few weeks. I may throw something out there in the midst of all the fun, but I fully intend to have a blast these next few weeks. 

35  Hope you all have some great cheer.

36  'Tis the season.

37   Gottago.

38   See you next year. Meanwhile, raise a glass. 

39   Peace.

~H~

The DN

1  Strange days.

2  I LOVE the rain, but lately it seems every time I travel to the store it is bombing raindrops.

3  I made the mistake of going to the store at around six last night. 

4  I shortened the trip to our nearest store, which is Walgreens. 

5  It happens to be in a parking lot that hosts a Target, so you can just imagine.

6  I usually shop early, but the past two days I got waylaid and wound up going out at just around the most dangerous time of the day.

7  The sky blasted me with rain.

8  I pulled into the nearest parking spot and went in. Innocent trip. I just wanted a case of water and some cashews. 

9  Of course the second I decided to ring it all up there was a line around the block. I eventually made it to the clerk.

10  And Walgreens' Visa machines always seems to jump all over the place, like  wonky computers, which they are. 

11  You're about to push "No thanks" on the cash-back and it jumps to "Cancel." Or something like that. It is usually in a blink, but it happened last night. 

12  I had a line behind me by the time I reached the counter. I glanced back at the irritation on the lined face of the lady behind me. 

13  Ah, it is what it is. I thought that anyway. 

14  I put my smaller stuff in a bag, grabbed the water and was out the door. 

15  I hopped in the car, which was right out in front, and revved it up. 

16   I looked up only to realize that in my hurry to get all this done swiftly I had inadvertently parked in the handicap spot.

17  I felt HORRIBLE because it irritates me to no end when people do that. I was in that much of a hurry.

18  Add to this a line of cars and headlights blinding me as I sat waiting for them to dissipate. 

19  THEN a lady in a walker walked past me my headlights and into Walgreens. 

20  At that point I shrank to the size of a pea.

21  Eventually everything cleared, but it seemed like a half hour. I'm pretty sure it was a matter of minutes, but time often distorts. 

22  No harm, a little foul, but when you include a heavy dose of Catholic guilt, you might get the idea.

23  I felt I should be whipped with a hickory stick.

24   Ah, vell.

25   The sad thing is that it wasn't intentional.

26   So much for THAT.

27   Am I forgiven?

28   Moving On, Part One: Why do the 49ers continue to be in the news?

29   It is SO embarrassing to be a fan these days. 

30   Bunch of thugs.

31   And for not wanting headlines, we suddenly find that Harbaugh may coach at the University of Michigan?

32  There's a match made in heaven.

33   Just. Go. Away. Just for a while 'til I decide what to do with them. 

34   I'm pretty sure Dad would have been just as irritated. He'd still watch, but he would be irritated. Not enough to turn off the game and watch CSI, but yeah.

35  Isn't that how people end sentences when they've run out of steam? "But yeah."

36   Dannnnnnnnng. 

37   Moving On, Part Two: A friend of mine who LOVES theater gave a huge thumbs-up to TheatreWorks Peter and the Starcatcher. It plays thru Jan 3 at the Lucie Stern Theatre in Palo Alto.

38  Sounds fun. 

39   I gotta get out more. 

40   You should get a hold of today's Merc News. The entertainment section, an insert called eye, has all the stuff that is out there to enjoy, and there is too much to report right here. 

41  In the meantime, I have a saloon to run. It ran well yesterday.

42  Finals. I skipped two parties yesterday because I've been a tad wiped out by the entire first semester.

43  I did manage to go out in the rain for water and cashews.

44  I need to remind myself not to do that today. 

45   We're out early during finals so our clocks seem distorted, which they have been all year anyway.

46  So I'm gonna go now before I say things I shouldn't.

47  You guys have a GREAT day. Shop early and stay safe.

48   See you again.

49   Peace.

~H~

The DN

1  I sometimes wonder why I write this gibberish each day.

2  I listen to the news and it tends to put me on a downer.

3  Maybe I write this because I like to chuckle and offer chuckles.

4  Quite often the news is on when I write the morning of, which I am doing today.

5   Yesterday I decided to honor our union and enjoy working to rule, which means not between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3:30 p.m.

6  I went Christmas shopping instead.

7

8   Me.

9   Everybody knows I am a Christmas elf. 

10  Nah. Not really. I used to be a HUGE Grinch. 

11  I think I know why.

12  Some stores play REALLY bad Christmas music. Walking alone through a store and listening to sad and sentimental Christmas music depresses you. Listening to some of the worst Christmas songs ever makes me want to strangle myself with a pair of socks.

13  Add to that the fact that the Levis are in the Lee's section and the Lee's are in the Levis' section, AND the sizes on the hanger aren't the sizes of the clothing.

14  I'd have better luck doing my shopping at Savers. 

15  Still, for me to be out and about on December 16 is a coup.

16  I was one of those guys who would wait 'til Christmas Eve to shop.

17  For you younger set, this means that all you can get for your wife or girlfriend is XL or XXL, which works if she offers that much love. 

18  And most of that clothing has had the necks yanked out of the hangers so often that a sweater might make a better skirt. 

19  So last night was a lark. Easy parking, empty stores, and rain. Pretty peaceful and easy.

20  I also went at five in the afternoon, not really a busy time, at least so far.

21  And people STILL irritated me, especially linebacking mothers bullying through coat racks. 

22  Ah, it's all good.

23  Nothing like a little Christmas cheer.

24  Moving On, Part One: This is going to sound random, but do your ears ring after listening to a sound bar for a couple hours?

25  That never bothered me until I would spend a few weekends at Dad's, and he would blast that thing.

26   My eyes would cross.

27   I felt I deserved it though because he used to yell at me when I'd play Beatles' music too loud.

28   I'd get this shot: "Turn that crap down!"

29   Revenge is best served unknowingly. I don't think he had a clue as to how loud the teevee sound bar was. 

30  I already had poor hearing, even when I was really small.

31  Remember those beep tests they used to give grade school kids? The ones where you had to out on headphones and point to which phone beeped?

32  I would always point to the wrong beep. 

33  As a teacher later in life, it became difficult. There is a classroom rule that the quietest students always sit in the seat furthest from the teacher. 

34  I combatted that one.

35  I have certain students I KNOW are never loud enough and I move right next to them.

36  It's a football move. 

37   Moving On, Part Two: I just heard that Sports' Illustrated has a new issue with Colin Kaepernick on the cover. Headline: What's Happened to the 49ers?

38  Seriously? 

39  I was going to ignore that entire story today.

40  It is so unbelievable I want it to vanish. 

41  See why you shouldn't have the news playing in the morning?

42  Now I want to go to Kohl's and cold-cock some greedy shopper. 

43  Moving On, Part Three: I jinxed the Warriors last night. 

44  I hadn't listened to any of their games during the streak, but last night the game was on when I hopped in the car to go Christmas shopping.

43  I instantly turned it off, but I knew it was over. 

44  Sorry Warriors' fans. M'bad.

46  Moving On, Part Four: I missed around six wet paper towel shots to the waste paper basket yesterday. I wet paper towels to clean the whiteboard in my room. 

47   Schools don't have blackboards anymore, or even green boards. At least not my school, which is a newer school.

48   They use sliding whiteboards, which work great but which can also get really messy. Teachers argue about which chemicals work best to clean them.

49  I've had tremendous luck with just plain water. 

50  I gotta get off my high horse and get to the school. It is finals week, so we're off at around 1:10. 

51  I'll be gone at 1:11. I wanna hit the stores again for a second go-round. 

52   Have a GREAT day.

53   Don't listen to the news. Go outside and enjoy the sky. 

54   See you again.

55   Peace.

~H~

The DN

1   Anybody have a Bekins' truck I can borrow?

2   I looked around my desk yesterday and it looked like an abandoned encampment.

3   I've done steady planning and grading since August and it looks like it.

4   When you finally catch up with all your work and then the storms come in, all bets are off.

5   My solution is the same solution I use when the garage gets out of hand: large garden trash bags. 

6  Most people who know me know that I would rather go to the dumps than I would Disneyland. 

7   There's a reason for this.

8   First off, when I was a kid my Dad would take me to the dumps. I thought it was the best place on the planet. Tons of treasures and a smell that can't be beat.

9   I would see old beat-up toys, rockers, sofas, lamps and doors. 

10  I was always intrigued by the stuff the guys who WORKED at the dumps would fish out and salvage.

11  Such glamour, enchantment and witchery. 

12  I imagined Swiss Family Robinson stuff. Get the rust off that lamp and it's yours. Re-finish that counter top and you could put it in a tree house. Fix that toy car and you could drive around the neighborhood.

13  Who needs Disney?

14  I'm wondering if there are students walking around my desk thinking the same stuff. 

15  I have all sorts of stuff around my desk. I have a guitar, mics, a bunch of bags that are unlabeled, which is clearly the sign of a guy whose job has swallowed him up. 

16   Anybody lookin'?

17   It's atrocious.

18   The only good thing is that most of the bags are almost empty, leaving me with a bazillion mechanical pencils, staples, paper clips, staplers, and papers with no name on them. I affectionately call them "ghosts."

19  Yeesh.

20  The beauty of finals is that we have two-hour classes in which we have to talk for approximately five minutes. This leaves a LOT of room for spring cleaning. 

21  Technically the kids can't cheat on my final. It is an essay. 

22   If they plagiarize, their entire semester grade goes into instant distress. 

23  I've busted enough kids this year that word should be out. 

24  They usually apologize and accept that they were wrong, but pressured by deadlines. 

25  I usually accept the apology but dish out the punishment.

26  You don't want to go as deep as college professors because you don't want to have subsequent meetings. Who has time for that?

27  I do give it a harsh sting. 

28  I realize there are teachers who have zero tolerance. I respect that. 

29  I try to remember back when I was a students writing research papers. My recollection is that I would change wording, give citations, but often would steal a word or two from the writer. 

30  It was convenient. 

31  Hopefully they won't take away my degrees. 

32  Whatevs.

33   I'm pretty sure I could retire and get a better job at the dumps.

34  Pure glamour.

35   Moving On, Part One: Anybody else want to chime in on the Niners?

36   I'm tired of the entire season, and of what management has done to the team and the fans. 

37   Moving On, Part Two:  Okay. I'm over it.

38   Like yesterday's Merc News sports' headline put it:

FINISHED

39   It had a picture of Jim Harbaugh with that "Are ya KIDDIN' me?" face pasted on, like some macabre Halloween mask. 

40   Moving On, Part Three: Can we change the subject here?

41   Garbage.

42   There are worse things.

43   There are nicer things.

44   Report an Issue.

45   No issues.  

46   Where was I?

47   Oh, yeah.

48   Bekins' truck. Anybody?

49   I gottago.

50   Have a GREAT day.

51   Fly low.

52   Peace.

~H~

The DN

1  Does over-sleeping indicate a desire to retire?

2  If so, bring it.

3  Oh, bother.

4   I overslept because I decided to sleep through the second half of the Niner game, knowing full well what was coming.

5   Or perhaps it was because they spent the last eight minutes running out the clock on themselves?

6   It's a tough one. 

7   I hear the team, the management, the players and coaches talking all about themselves, and not word one about their fans.

8  They seem to forget that season ticket holders who somehow managed to afford to keep their season tickets (I wasn't one of them) are PAYING to watch them roll over and die every fourth quarter. 

9   There was no excuse for their use, or misuse of the clock in the fourth quarter yesterday. 

10  For the record, I didn't sleep through it. I yelled through it. 

11  Didn't help.

12  I have students who do self-fulfilling prophesies all the time. It drives me crazy. "I can't take tests!" Fails test. "See?"

13  Uh...yeah. We see. 

14   "I can't throw touchdowns in the fourth quarter."

15   

16   Same voice in the head.

17   One of the toughest voices to silence on the planet. Teachers battle this daily. No lie.

18   Report an Issue.

19   I'm tired of the Niners and their lame excuses. Practice to play sixty minutes of football, or do something else. 

20  You get tons of money to play football. I don't care about your contract. Very few people are sympathetic with that one. Play the game they pay you to play. No more excuses. It's boushit, and the fans see that it is boushit. 

21  Report an Issue.

22  Report an Issue.

23   I'm probably mad at myself about something.

24   When do pitchers and catchers report?

25   Meanwhile, the Warriors are tearing it up almost undetected. 

26   They have won sixteen in a row. 

27   Nice start.

28   Report an Issue.

29

30   Speaking of basketball, do you ever chuck a piece of paper across a room and throw up a three-sign if it sinks into a waste basket?

31   Come on. Admit it. 

32   Report an Issue.

33   I miss more than I make. Not gonna lie.

34   AND...

35   I practice during my prep period. 

36   No self-fulfilling prophecy here.

37   Just call me Steph.

38   Anybody lookin'?

39

40

41   At first glance I thought that guy was in my third.

42   Don't get old.

43   Moving On, Part One: How's the shopping coming along?

43   So far I've bought three presents for this Secret Santa thing we have going on at school. 

44  I've spent around 25 bucks on some guy I've never met. 

45   It's all good. It brings a lot of us together for laughs, since the contract is AGAIN stalled until January 6.

46  Are ya KIDDIN' meeeeeee?

47  Moving On, Part Two: Ah, it's all good. 

48   I appreciate the respect. 

49   

50  Finals week. 

51   Rituals.

52   I've seldom seen the point except that it's us providing hoops for students to jump through.

53  SMH.

56  Did I mention that I overslept?

57  Gottago.

58  It's Monday. 

59   Fly low. 

60   See you again.

61   Peace.

~H~

The DN

You

 Weathered the Storm.

Hope Everybody is Safe!

Peace.

~H~

The DN

Weather the Storm.

Peace.

~H~