The Daily News

1  Wow. Is it Thoisday, December the Thoid already?

2   Color me amazed.

3   Ever go through a month that travels so fast your socks come back to encourage you to get into your running shoes?

4  Ah, the holidays.

5  Listen here for a sec:

6  This ain't gonna stop.

7  The speed.

8  We move, and we hit bumps in the road.

9  At this time of the year, we don't even realize we are becoming  heathens. The holidays. 

10  They should rename.

11  "The Hollerdays."

12  Holla. 

13  Supposition: Suppose you realize that the seventeen cases of Pampers you've hoarded have vanished. You panic. Babies are screaming. You rush into Wal-Mart, and the advertisement announces a super sale on Pampers. You dash to the Pampers area, only to  find a just-as-frantic-Gramma grabbing the last two packages.

14  You are about to ask nicely if she might let you have one of them, since they are all gone.

15  Your eyes catch. She shoots you a look that could freeze beer.  

16  Holla. 

17  The good news: It's Thoisday, December the Thoid.

18  I've watched a bit too much TCM lately.

19  I think it is Sinatra week or something. 

20  I fixed dinner last night, REAL taco night, with pork loins and my outrageous guac. 

21  They had that series called The Good Wife on. I can't follow teevee when I'm cooking. 

22  It interrupts my chi. 

23  I kept walking around, back-and-forthing, occasionally watching, and making irrelevant comments. 

24  "That guy looks like a Minion!" I said of one character.

25  "Dad. That's Nathan Lane," said Caitlin. 

26  "THAT'S Nathan Lane? Hell, he looks like a Minion!"

27  O, lordy!

28  We ate, laughed, and enjoyed the babies, in all their cute babiness. 

29  They eventually took off into the night, hand waves and the lot. 

30  I got back inside, cleaned the kitchen, and clicked on the teevee.

31  Guess what was on?

32  Guys and Dolls. 

33  I loved the coincidence with Nathan Lane, even if he did look like a Minion.  

34  The coincidences have not subsided. If anything, they are stronger than ever; I simply don't see reporting every one of them. 

35  But this particular one had to come with photographs. Just had to. So here:

 Minion.

Lane.

36  Right? Good old, reliable Nathan.


37  M'bad.

38  I don't usually do this sort of thing, not, at least, in polite company.

39  I got trained by Helene. She is the best. I mean that in a kind way.

40  Anybody lookin'?

41  Moving On, Part Two: Part One is officially over. 

42  After cleaning like a fiend last night, I walked for around an hour or so, then tried writing this at a late hour. 

43  I wouldn't call it writer's block, but I awakened this morning with around eleven unrelated thoughts.

44  I tellya, this isn't for the faint of heart. 

45  It occurred to me once again that the DN is officially in its twentieth year. 

46  I'm not even getting time-and-a half. 

47  Ah, it's all good. 

48  Moving On, Part the Thoid: today's DN set a record for most time having used the word "thoid." All apologies, especially to the disinterested. 

49  Moving On, Part the Fourth: So last night being a Wednesday night, I dreamed I was at a staff meeting at some combo YB/EV school. My house is right down the street from an elementary school, so I am constantly reminded what sort of schedule we are on. 

50  You can run, but you can't hide. 

51  It wouldn't be the first staff meeting I slept through. 

52  Moving On, Part the Fifth: I have never moved on to five different parts in a DN. This is also a DN first. I should get a trophy.

53  This is what happens when you try re-defining yourself. I'm pretty sure it works for others, but I'm one of those guys who as a kid would see a spoon and say, "Shiny!"

54  I would say the same thing about a boa constrictor. 

55  I think I'm going to drive today's DN off the rails. 

56  Time to go.

57  Have a GREAT day.

59  See you again.

60  Peace.

~H~

fin.