The Daily News

1  Thursday.

2   Lovin' it.

3   They're having a Christmas Light competition-thingy going on somewhere in Sacramento.

4  I love how my place looks. Helene did a great job, but I don't have a good enough camera to catch any of it. 

5  It isn't blasting the neighborhood with a bazillion dollars worth of lights. If anything, it's remarkably understated.

6  Last night I finally got a few gifts under the tree.

7  As a guy with twelve thumbs, I think I did okay. I was never a very patient present-wrapper, but for years I played the, "Aw, it's ugly, but you didn't pay professional wrappers, so it's from the heart!" card. 

8  I know darned well that if I wanted to take a lot of time, I could probably conquer my twelve thumbs of Christmas.

9  In fact, I had a fun experience yesterday when I went to buy my own gift wrap. I went into Rite-Aid, and shopped a store I figured wouldn't be busy.

10  I bought ribbons, Scotch gift-wrap tape (at $4.99 a pop!), and a bunch of other things that might make my presents work.

11  I must have looked sort of funny, because I had NO idea what I was buying. Any ribbons that are pre-curled, for example. Black markers for the cards that are attached to those red Christmas gift bags. And myriad packs of tissues.

12  I carried the stuff over to the clerk. He had almost-white hair. I must have been a sight. I looked like I was gift-wrapped, what with all the colors of Christmas hanging off me, along with fake tinsel, silver and gold ribbons, and colorful Christmas bags. 

13  I figured this guy to be a good ol' boy, and confessed that I had the house to myself, so this was my bid at wrapping presents with nobody interrupting my train of thought.

14  "Oh!" the guy said. "We used to wrap Christmas presents as fund-raisers when I was in high school. We got trained quite well. I love wrapping presents!"

15  So much for my good ol' boy. 

16  They don't make'em like they used to.

17  As I left the store, I was courteous. "Wish me luck!" I said. 

18  "Good luck!" he said.

19  I took a few steps out the door and remembered what I had said about older guys who are in Christmas movies always winding up in the end being the real Santa.

20  I glanced back into the store, and the guy was gone.

21  

22  You gotta love it.

23  Moving On, Part One: <singing> It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...la-de-dah-dah-dah... 

24  Remember when you used to know all the lyrics to every Christmas song?

25  <basketball buzzer>

26  Ahhh...yeah-no...

27  I don't remember too much of anything these days.

28  I'm not worried because well, I don't remember if I'm depressed or happy half the time. I consider that a plus.

29  This empowers me. 

30  Oh, I worry a bit about the memory.

31  But I can shrug most stuff off. 

32  As Helene's Uncle used to say, "If I wake up in the morning and don't see a tag on my foot, it's a good day!"

33  Ya gotta love it.

34  Moving On, Part Two:

35  Anybody lookin'?

36  Oh, bother. 

37  Holla.

38  After all, it IS the Holla Days.

39  Happy Holla Days. I stole that one from a sweat shirt. I thank Kohl's for that one. Love the peace sign. Holla.

40  Moving On, Part Three: I almost went out of my mind with the amount of Star Wars posts on Facebook last night.

41   I almost became anti-Star Wars because of it. I felt the social media was being controlled by the Man. Propaganda comes at such a cost. 

42  Trends. I tell ya.

43  Notice the key word "almost" in item 41, above. 

44  I almost became a Star Wars Scrooge.

45  Or a Star Wars Grinch. 

46  I then thought about how Grinchy and Grumpy that was. 

47  I awakened once again at around 3 a.m. and decided against boycotting Star Wars. That movie never grabbed me the way it grabbed everyone else, so I didn't really get all the hype.

48  But there was something about being unable to sleep that got me to stream Episode 4, which is actually the first one made. 

49  At first I was annoyed that the exposition was slanted, and that it demanded too much info for a fellow as slow of study as I. 

50  Within minutes, it drew me in. Before long, I love the simple story line. And I loved Alec Guinness. 

51  What's funny is I was that I found myself once again stretched out on Le Luge, but I was also wearing a black hoodie. It was a bit cold, so I had the hood over my ears. I didn't realize what a sight I must have been until Helene came out and saw me. 

52  For a tenth of a second, I became a Jedi master. 

53  Quite a turn-around in one night.

54  Christmas present to myself. 

55  I gottago. Have a Jedi day.

56  See you again.

57  May the Force be with you.

58  Peace. 

~H~

fin.