The Daily News
1 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
2 Barbecues fly like midnight. The Man flies like innocence.
3
4 Strange things.
5
6 It's 8:11.
7
8 Process that.
9 And I have to process KGO's announcement last night at around six that barbecues are going to be regulated.
10
11
12 Word on the street is that every candidate walking around is thankful this one isn't is his/her district.
13 For the record, I don't remember a time I had a barbecue at midnight. I just thought it sounded poetic, like Hemingway's hunting game and all.
14 Don't rile me or get me goin'.
15 I hope you have a proper sense of humour.
16 And that you show proper behaviours.
17 French spellings.
18
19 Uh-hum.
20 Have I welcomed you yet to the DAILY NEWZZZZZ?
21 Well.
22 Now you know. French spellings.
23 We also have secret handshakes.
24 Along with veggie shakes.
25
26
27 Behaviours. I swear.
28 Ah, watchu gonna do.
29 Not gonna lie.
30 I work for the Man.
31 Anybody lookin'?
32 With all due respect?
33 You gotta find a better way to spend your time.
34
35 Come to think of it, I have to find a better way to spend my time.
36
37 Ah, it's a livin'.
38 Moving On, Part One: Does anyone else have the sneezes and the wheezes?
39 I think my entire school has some sort of virus or something.
40 Yesterday I thought I was teaching some pretty deep stuff involving prepositions.
41
42 You laugh.
43
44 Troglodyte.
45
46 AnywayZ...
47 It's "anyway" okay?
48
49 Anyway...
50 Right when I thought I was landing a few punches, some kid started blowing his nose.
51 Don't get me wrong. People have to blow their noses.
51 This guy kept going. Power nose-blowing. I thought for a second I was at a space launching.
52 It was HALLLLLLA loud.
53
54 Occupational hazard.
55 I'm thinking of keeping a haz-mat suit near me, and then donning it the next time that guy stands up.
56
57 Oh, I forgot to tell you. When students have colds, they use my Kleenex, so they have to walk to a cabinet by my door to use my Kleenex to blow their noses.
58 For the record, I also provide a small paper cup of cough drops.
59 Sweetheart deal for the students.
60 But when I'm trying to land the importance of prepositions in our lives, I find it a tad distracting.
61 Thank goodness for prepositions, don't you agree?
62
63 <crickets>
64 I take my job way too seriously.
65 I'm going through a late-life crisis.
66 Ah, I gottago.
67 Have a GREAT day.
68 See you again.
69 Peace.
31 Anybody lookin'?
32 With all due respect?
33 You gotta find a better way to spend your time.
34
35 Come to think of it, I have to find a better way to spend my time.
36
37 Ah, it's a livin'.
38 Moving On, Part One: Does anyone else have the sneezes and the wheezes?
39 I think my entire school has some sort of virus or something.
40 Yesterday I thought I was teaching some pretty deep stuff involving prepositions.
41
42 You laugh.
43
44 Troglodyte.
45
46 AnywayZ...
47 It's "anyway" okay?
48
49 Anyway...
50 Right when I thought I was landing a few punches, some kid started blowing his nose.
51 Don't get me wrong. People have to blow their noses.
51 This guy kept going. Power nose-blowing. I thought for a second I was at a space launching.
52 It was HALLLLLLA loud.
53
54 Occupational hazard.
55 I'm thinking of keeping a haz-mat suit near me, and then donning it the next time that guy stands up.
56
57 Oh, I forgot to tell you. When students have colds, they use my Kleenex, so they have to walk to a cabinet by my door to use my Kleenex to blow their noses.
58 For the record, I also provide a small paper cup of cough drops.
59 Sweetheart deal for the students.
60 But when I'm trying to land the importance of prepositions in our lives, I find it a tad distracting.
61 Thank goodness for prepositions, don't you agree?
62
63 <crickets>
64 I take my job way too seriously.
65 I'm going through a late-life crisis.
66 Ah, I gottago.
67 Have a GREAT day.
68 See you again.
69 Peace.
~H~
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