The Daily News

1   AHHHHHHHHH!!!

2   I overslept!!!

3   AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

4

5   Ever do that?

6   Oversleep and panic?

7

8   Dude.

9   Let an Old Brown Shoe intervene.

10  It's not the end of the world.

11  My experience is that I often perform better when I oversleep.

12  Have to. It's the law.

13  Don't take it into traffic. That's why you see so many morons during commute. 

14  Here's a nice way to think when you have overslept: Say to yourself, "I overslep."

15

16   I know, right?

17   So.

18   I overslep.

19   I think I'll go psycho and weave in and out of traffic.

20   Ballistic white guys.

21   There oughta be a law. Oh wait. There is one. It's just unwritten. Anyone with half a brain knows that law. 

22   Moving On, Part One: This reminds me of the time I saw smoke coming out of my hood when I was flying home one late afternoon. I was on 280. 

23  It wasn't normal car smoke.

24  It was "Hey-buddy-I'm-on-fire" smoke.

25  Pure instinct.

26  I pulled to the side of the road. I panicked like mad.

27  I moved to the hood, opened it, and saw flames.

28   Scary stuff.

29   I knew instinctively that I was a goner, so I began throwing arm signals to traffic, my thoughts being I wanted to get them to move out of harm's way.

30  

31   Traffic has no understanding of madmen. 

32    "Look at that lunatic with car trouble, kids!"

33

34   You would have been that guy. 

35   Don't lie.

36

37   Didn't stop me. I WAS a lunatic with car trouble. Blowing-my-ass-to-the sky car trouble. 

38   My heart beat major beats. The area under my eyes twitched.

39  I screamed at people.

40  "Kids, look at that lunatic with car trouble. Let's all give him the finger!!!"

41

42   I was young. 

43   Don't get old. 

44   

45   Within minutes, this kindly old Chevrolet pulled up on the gravel. This guy in his eighties got out. He didn't acknowledge me, just sauntered to his trunk and opened it. 

46  I didn't think to run. This was in the days when people weren't living in fear.

47   He came back with a gallon jug of pure water. 

48   He smiled, didn't say a word, and poured the water over my car engine. The fire went out. 

49  He smiled without a word, got back in his car and took off. 

50  I was typical of a young moron. I followed him like a happy puppy thanking him. "Thank you, oh my God, thank you so much!" I screamed. You would have thought I was going to ask him for his autograph. 

51  I don't rightly remember what was wrong with the engine. Loose wire causing a spark. Something. Whatever it was went away. I nursed it to a gas station, told the guy what happened, and he seemed not to care. He gave things a look, pulled down the hood and gave me the okie-dokie.

52  

53   So.

54   I overslep. 

55   Use it. 

56   I gottago. Have a GREAT weekend.

57   See you again.

58   Peace.

~H~