A's Win!!!
CONGRATS TO THE A's AND TO THEIR FANS!!!
KEEP IT GOING!!!
MAKE YOUR MOVE NOWWWW!!!
And now, the Daily News!!!
2 McDonald's became a last-minute whim. It sits in the same shopping area as the place I run copies for school. I had just finished hours of work, had driven to the copy place, and emerged exhausted after a good hour of running off materials for school.
3 I spent the morning writing things up for school so that this morning I would be more than equipped to take on the next two weeks. I ran off tons of materials for my classes. In the end I organized them into two neat piles, and then paused. I waited a moment before continuing. After catching a second wind, I continued, a Sisyphusian dizziness settling upon my shoulders, and into my psyche. I knew I had to move forward.
4 I jammed the educational equivalent of twelve book-size gold bricks neatly into a Walgreens's bag which I lifted and placed solidly into my trunk.
5 My original plan consisted of heading straight home. At the last moment I looked up and saw McDonald's.
6 I wasn't even hungry; it was a deliberate delay.
7 Have you ever been so relaxed after getting all your stuff done that you enter the mystical Temple of Pure Zen? That thought suddenly overtook me.
8 I became the Zen master; McDonald's the Temple.
9 The trouble with floating in an organic Zen state is it opens the door to the Other side. The second you float Z and begin backing out of a parking lot, some oblivious moron steps into the center of your rear view. Sometimes this occurs literally.
10 In this instance, it was some lady in an odd hat, and she seemed to be walking diagonally.
11 This was okay at first, but after she pulled about three switchbacks I could feel a palpable crack in my Chi.
Quick Sidebar: Words to Know and Use:
chi, ch'i or qi 2 (tʃiː) --n | |
(sometimes capital) (in Oriental medicine, martial arts, etc) vital energy believed to circulate round the body in currents
Definition courtesy of dictionary.com. It's one of the
definitions anyway. Didn't mean to interrupt.
| |
12 It darned well might have caused a crack in the universe. |
14 I honestly don't. Different things could go wrong on a given day, but a day could always change, improve, and get better.
15
16 I refuse to elaborate for fear it might put a huge crack in your Chi as well.
17 The other day I knew that the mirror lady was a Chi-cracker. It wasn't the cause of a bad day, just a disruption of the mellowness that was my universe for the first time all week.
18 I decided to battle it. I glanced at the Drive-Thru, and there was no line. I circled down the next aisle so that I could make a smoother turn. Just as I was ready to turn into the Drive-Thru, a beat-up Tercel pulled in front of me, followed immediately by two other cars. Within seconds it was worse than the Gates of Disneyland on free Mouse-Ears Day. Instant traffic jam. It bordered on touristy.
19 Guys got out of their cars to stretch their legs. Whole families sat under trees. I decided that the Chi was clearly disrupted. I turned my car around and parked next to where I had originally parked, and got out.
20 As I walked toward the entrance I heard a commotion off to my left. My Chi dial moved to red alert.
21 Looking to the left, I saw an angry lady jogger with ear buds moving toward me. I felt sure we were going to crash as we both neared the front door of McDonald's.
22 Within a second she was gone. Slipped right past me.Turns out she didn't want to go into McDonald's at all. I turned again to the doorway to the Golden Arches.
22 I heard car doors.
23 What looked like a clown car had pulled up and three heifers climbed out, accompanied with cowboy hats and huge appetites. At least one was a man; not too sure about the others. They moved quickly towards the door. I'm convinced it was the hooves.
24 I wasn't ready to get cut twice in the same day, so I opened the door, but instead of holding it for them, which I usually do, I gave it that little shove that opens it but that also puts me in front of them.
25 Soon what was supposed to be a simple act kept getting more and more complicated. I had to reverse the Chi, but I also had to use the rest room.
26 I didn't dare.
27 There was no line, but some floater stood next to me. A clear case of that awkward moment when two people find themselves standing next to each other, and there is no apparent line.
28 I broke the silence.
29 "You in line?" I asked.
30 "No, you go, you go," he said. He had some sort of cool accent.
31 I stepped up, gave my order, and stepped away. I eye-balled the restroom in the corner and started towards it when the doors flew open and this grizzly guy burst in and made a bee-line to the bathroom. So much for that. My Chi had to reverse field and head towards the soda machine. "Might as well grab a cup-holder," I thought.
32 I am well aware that you don't really need a cup-holder until you get your drinks, but I don't often do fast food, and existing in an odd world that had already become distorted, I grabbed a cup-holder, some napkins, and then chilled by the soda machine awaiting my order.
33 The guy with the cool accent's number had already been called, and he had picked up his order and left. I looked at the counter and there was a strawberry milk shake sitting there melting. Nobody had claimed it. It seemed to be the only thing holding up my own order.
34 I looked around, and kept not being called. Suddenly I heard a noise that startled me. The guy who had been in the restroom crashed into the soda machine and pushed into the ice-maker. Ice crashed all through his doubled up fists and he did a quick ice-wash before my startled eyes.
35 The guy was right out of Breaking Bad, I swear to you.
36 He disappeared out the door. I looked up and the guy behind the counter hadn't blinked.
37 "Two number three's." He didn't call my number. Just the order, like every American who walks around orders two number three's. That's two Quarter Pounders, two fries and two drinks.
38 I went back to the soda machine, avoiding the ice-maker on the left, the one that Breaking Bad Boy crashed into.
39 What I forgot was that the Chi already cracked. The ice machine in front of me started shifting and shaking like it was attempting to pass an ice stone.
40 I held a cup under it and three cubes crashed into it. It paused and it went back for more. I quickly put the other cup under it. At this point it rattled me to my bones. I shook; it shook and...nothing.
41 I looked over to the other ice-maker and decided that what was past was prologue. I bravely placed the second cup under it, and ice flew out. I had to empty a few into the drain, shot some diet Coke into it, put on a lid and breathed. My heart pounded. My temples thumped.
42 I managed to put a lid on the other drink, get both into the cup-holder and escape into the night.
43 On the way home things turned normal again. Stars moved to their normal positions; clouds smiled down, and the universe miraculously healed.
44 None of which, to this minute, do I attribute to anything as nonsensical as a "bad day."
45 And yesterday everything went perfectly well.
46 Well...almost.
47 I'll save it for a another day.
48 Or not, which I consider a better option.
49 Okay then, coffee break's over.
50 Back on your heads.
51 Enjoy your day.
52 See you again.
53 Peace.
~H~
Say cheese.
No comments:
Post a Comment