The DN

Say cheese.

1   "The real point of a pencil is its eraser."                                                                                       ---Joe the Bear

2   Ain't it the Truth.

3   It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!!

4   Nothing else matters.

5   Whoops!  #quickshufflin'around

6   Anybody lookin'?

7   It's Frideeeeeee the Thoiteent. <Best cockney> "Oi've erd rumuhz that 'ashtags won't werk on Frideeeeeee the Thoiteent..."

8   

9   My feeling?

10  Posh. 

11  Every now and again there is a Friday the Thirteenth. Too bad there's one today.

12  I don't subscribe.

13  Leave that one on the porch next door.

14   Leave it with New Year's, April Fools, Columbus Day (are ya KIDDIN'?) and other useless garbage. 

15   I have neighbors whose yards need more garbage. Dresses the joint up.

16   Seesly.

17   There's a house on my block that needs a rope around it and a strong tow. 

18  Or six gazillion balloons and a crabby old guy. 

19   And THAT''s what I think about Friday the Thirteenth.

20   Moving on, Part One: Now Thoisdee the Twelth...

21   Fear not.

22   I'm not going to talk about too much of yesterday.

23   For the most part it was a GREAT day.

24   But last night I had a grand idea for the DN: Douse Friday the Thirteenth, and get out of dodge.

25   I would keep this thing short, hop on my horse and dash into the weekend. 

26  I got the first part nailed pretty quickly.

27  The idea is that I don't really believe in bad luck days, or even bad luck, for that matter. 

28   I do believe that bad things happen.

29   But jinxed days, no. 

30   So I wrote a bunch of stuff about that, and then changed to a different topic.

31   No details. I spent a lot of time doing a bunch of research, gathering pictures and all the rest for an event that happened a few days ago. 

32  

33   Yup. 

34   Easy to do. Sometimes I skim for timely or interesting topics, believe it or don't.

35   Sometimes I run across something that seems really current, and then see that the publishing date is from six months ago. 

36   Ya gotta be careful when you are a two-bit hack.

37   Anyway, I gathered a bunch of fun pictures, kept adding to the story, and was all ready to publish this morning when I found out I had been scooped by every media source on the planet. 

38  Teaching does that. We bury ourselves in stuff and then wander into oblivion.

39   There could have been a twin tornado that swept through Milpitas and I wouldn't have known. 

40   I got so busy I almost forgot to eat. 

41   Who DOES that?

42    Well, I had to spike the entire DN at around 10:30 last night, right after I crowed about how I had all my ducks in a row. It's just that every journalistic rag on the planet already had the story. 

43   What story?

44   That the manager of a McDonald's got busted for robbing his own story in the 3 a.m.?  #dumbass

45   Nah. 

46   Bigger. 

47   It had to do with these two:

48  That's Fik-shun and Amy, yo.

49   I didn't realize that I was watching Roku. 

50   Got a story WITH an interview and everything else. 

51   What KILLED me was how much I dug Fik-shun. My kinda guy. He is officially America's Favorite Dancer. Two days ago. Mighta been THREE days ago. 

52   Ah vell. 

53   That oughta teach me to stay a bit more in tune with real life. 

54   <birdie music> I wonder if he was named after St. Fik-shun? 

55    Ah, secrets revealed! DN exposed for being a complete sham. 

56   I'm mortified.

57    Or not.

58    Still Frideeeeeee!!!! AND my boy won. Two days ago, but homie took the gold. 

59   Is there a back door outta here?

60   Have a GREAT Friday, and have a GREAT weekend y'all!

61   See you again.

62   Peace.

~H~

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