Thursday, September 26, 2013

The DN





























 Say cheese.



1  I had a lot of DN views yesterday. I usually don't bother counting. I just saw that some graph they have showed a rise in readership.

2  Odd, all things considered. I popped that one off after grading things 'til 11 p.m. It was more a distraction than anything else. 

3  Ya never know. 

4   ...and a vun and a two and a... = ) <--------------- <sideways emoticon happy guy>

5   Grades got done. Accurate grades. 

6   World record turnover of huge writing assignments to gradebook. I worked almost five days in a row 'til midnight. Not complaining; I knew that I had done that. Still lived in fear I might not hit the deadline of 4 p.m. yesterday. 

7   My students inspired me. I read a lot about how they never give up, no matter what. 

8   I wasn't sure two night's ago that I could get that all done. 

9   They taught me to push, and to get things done. 

10  They taught me to focus. 

11  I won't bore you with details, but I finished almost three hours before the deadline! Broke my own record. 

12  That was a TON of work. 

13   I destroyed my classroom. 

14   Looks like I created a monster in a sinister lab. 

15   And it broke free, toe up the room, pulled the door off its hinges, and vanished.



16   <sound up. Crowds screaming "Kill the monster!>

17   I walk into that lab this morning. 

18   Major scene change. 

19   I clean what I can. For my classes, I do a story over the mic. This goes 'til school's out for me at two.

20   And then the ultimate: setting the room for Back-to-School Night. Shine up the magazine racks. 

21   Scrub the desks. 

22   Display all 140 magazines, by class. Get food if time. Pho. King. Coffee. Return to school around five. 

23   Get into the men's room, shave and groom. Quick change. 

24   Put out podium, course syllabi, and extra-credit sign-in sheets. Wait bell to sound. Begin BTSN. Sparkle, if possible. 

25   Like that? "Syllabi." Sort of rolls off the tongue. "Syllabi." Is it a silly song to sing to a kid at bedtime? "Syllabi."

26   So scrumptiously Latin. 

27    Uh oh. <looking around> Anybody lookin'?

28

29   Don't tell Stephen King that I used an adverb. He'd kill me. 



30   King is my hero.

31   Best writing teacher ever. 

32   You wouldn't know it if you read this stuff. 

33   Or you might. 

34   Moving On, Part One: I got into this ritual in the past month.

35   Get off work and jet home. 

36   Stop in at Pho Mai # 1 on Landess, hat askew, a copy of King's On Writing in my left hand. Makes a great bookmark.

37   G-2 slipped over envelope. Best pen out there.



38 Never finish reading. Just go in, order hot pho and ice coffee, and skim for excellent advice. Keep re-reading different parts.

39  Write part of quote, or topic <i.e. "disdain for adverbs!"> and page number. 

40   Tilt hat. Image: author who could kill you with a look. Or slice you with a word. 

41   Order pho ritual. Grab tiny sauce bowls. Pour Sriracha and Housin in. Leave bottles out, like sauce sentinels. 

42   Put feet up.

43   Ignore any beautiful wimminz. 

44   Study the art of writing, written by the master. 

45   When steaming pho arrives, add things clockwise, then stir. 

46   Contrary to popular rumor, that doesn't insult the chef. 

47   Note any cool music in the background. Pho Mai # 1 plays standards. La Vie en Rose. Night and Day. As Time Goes By

48  Turn everything black and white/sepia mix. 

49   Ignore any beautiful wimminz. The pen is mightier. 

50   Wait for most people to exit. Pay. Leave HUGE tip. Every time you go in, do that. 

51  Thank owners. They rock. 

52   Stop at 76 station on Morrill for an ice cream sandwich. It's the only way to cap a perfect afternoon of pretending to be a writer. 

53  Head home. 

54  Fall off the rails. Awaken. End this fast.

55  Have a GREAT day.

56   Peace.

~H~









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