Say cheese.
1 I got home yesterday afternoon, turned on TCM and discovered a conversation between Kim Novak and Robert Osborne.
2 Novak talked about how difficult her early days were because she was so pretty.
3 She referred to her beauty as a handicap.
4 "Being a pretty girl was a handicap; it was a handicap where everyone's saying, 'Stand in your place don't say anything don't think anything. Just be pretty!'
5 "What a handicap that was!"
6 I hear ya sister.
7 Same thing with me.
8
10 It handicapped me, I can tellya that much.
Anybody lookin'?
12 Great fodder for the DN. Each time I go into Lucky's or Safeway I walk through rich, fertile soil. For whatever reason I move swiftly through different aisles, eyes darting to and fro in search of amusing things.
13 I truly think I shop for DN oddities more than I do for groceries.
14 I don't have to go far.
15 Yesterday found me at Safeway looking for that chocolate Hershey's shell that pours over ice cream. You know that stuff? My daughter Nicole found some the other day in some aisle, I think it was the same Safeway.
16 I gave a muffled holla to her to grab one for me too. So we both went home the other night and had some yummy frozen desserts. Nicole took hers home and made something delicious. I believe it involved chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches WITH a chocolate shell, but I'm not sure. She'd serve that one dressed up in a ribbon.
17 Whatever it was motivated me and my own chocolate shell stuff. I went home, opened the fridge, took out the ice cream, and poured the liquid chocolate shell over the top. The ice cream itself was chocolate, with gooey chocolate swirl. When I scooped it into the bowl it shaped itself like the Matterhorn.
18 The chocolate shell dripped over the tip and ran down the sides before magically hardening.
19 Suddenly I had a Matterhorn Häagen Dazs. Pure stuff. No wooden stick.
20 I took one crunch and landed in Heaven.
21 God looked over at me and said, "Can I have a taste?"
22 I mumbled something about how it would get both on His beard and white robes, and that it might not be a good idea to do any tasting without the proper bib.
23 He was actually pretty chill with it, Him being God and all.
24 It all faded pretty quickly, but I discovered one mystical secret about God.
25 <He puts Downey in His sheets.>
26 You're not supposed to know stuff like that.
27 Also, He was watching Vertigo on Big Screen. Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak. It's set in San Francisco.
28 I almost turned around and offered Him my stickless Matterhorn Häagen Dazs Delight but thought he might have suspected a bribe, discretion fast becoming the better part of valor.
29 I returned to the Cloud, the name I gave to my new living room chair. It's white and puffy and interacts well with all things digital.
30 It evidently has a direct line to God. Who knew?
31 Little scary.
32 I got there on one taste. Might have been simply a vision I experienced when I first crunched the chocolate Matterhorn.
33 I also realized that my teevee had Vertigo on the same time His did. I looked at the screen on my teevee.
34 I caught the exact moment when Kim Novak walked out of a misty green light and started kissing Jimmy Stewart.
35 My ice cream began melting. It was becoming a shell of its former self. <permission to groan, but be sweet about it.>
36 Hot little scene for an old picture.
37 It faded out and I finished up my dessert.
38 After a snooze I awakened, fresh as a daisy.
39 I thought of other things, not important things, just things.
40 I flashed back to the Safeway, and how I got into line behind a guy who took up a bunch of room with his cart and all. Nobody else could put their groceries on the grocery conveyer because his empty cart blocked access.
41 He looked, saw what he was doing, and still didn't adjust for the masses.
42 My golden toe thought about punting HIM through an H-shaped goal post, but I thought better of it.
43 I decided to look at the cart behind me. I tend to look into other people's carts to see if they are eating healthily.
44 Most aren't.
45 It shows in their fashions and in their food choices.
46 AnywayZ (There is no "s" in "anyway," remember? There is also no "z" in it. I just put the Z in there to add a little style.)
47 Anyway I looked into the cart behind me. A young couple had a frozen pizza and a pizza cutter. I smiled. Such a humble couple of things.
48 I thought of my own pizza cutter. It must be a hundred years old.
49 I almost looked at them and said, "You're going to have that pizza cutter for the rest of your lives. Congratulations!" but I held back.
50 Interestingly my plan after Safeway involved a trip to Papa Murphy's, the pizza place. It is right around the corner from Safeway. Easy thing to do, and always fun.
51 I walked in, looked around, ordered some chicken/veggie number, and when I walked up to pay, I saw a basket with the most astonishingly modern pizza cutters EVER.
52 They had HUGE pinwheels on them, and were as sharp as anything put out there by Cutco.
53 Four bucks.
54 This successfully ended the long reign of my pizza cutter at home. I was stoked.
55 You have to see these to believe them.
56 Was I amused at the irony of that coincidence? The couple behind me in Safeway had a pizza and a new pizza cutter, almost prompting me to comment that you basically buy one pizza cutter in a lifetime. I walked out of Safeway and into a pizza place, where they displayed the best pizza cutters EVER for only four dollars. Was I amused?
57 Yup. = ) <-------------Old-skool smiley dude emoticon made with random symbols.
58 The brand new pizza cutter has found a home. It arrived safely in the house, and now awaits that Papa Murph's large, which will probably go down tonight.
59 Stay tuned...
60 Meanwhile, you have a GREAT weekend!
61 We'll see you again.
62 Peace.
~H~
Believe it or not, I was watching the same Kim Novak interview as you were. (The football pregame was so dull I went channel-surfing.)
ReplyDeleteDad, the Hershey shell makes ice cream so much better. I've been enjoying it all week! We'll have to relive our shopping trip this weekend! Love and miss you!
ReplyDeleteBob: I get the pre-game thing. Kim Novak makes a better lava lamp! Coley: Have you constructed a Matterhorn yet? Perfect excuse for more ice cream!!!
ReplyDelete