The DN
Say cheese.
1 It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!
2 Woot Woot!
3 Who SAYS that in REAL time?
4 Am I ready?
5 Are YOU ready?
6 I decided to put this entire week WAY behind and move swiftly into the next big thing.
7 The next big thing is flying into the weekend with energy, spark, and thoughts of mama!
8 I took the DN I originally wrote for today, crumbled it up and shot a three, nothing but net.
9 I might awaken the neighbors like Paul Revere shouting, "GET YOASS OUTTA BED!!! It's FRIDEEEEE and y'all are FREEEEEEEEE!!!
10 Moving on, Part One: Anyone lookin'?
11 This young reporter on KRON was going to commercial break when I looked up and goofed on the guy's hair.
12 You know how young moms sometimes comb their baby's hair so that it all points straight up in the front?
13 This reporter HAD that do.
14 I couldn't stop goofing on it.
15 I tried imagining Walter Cronkite or even Barbara Walters coming on and reporting the news with a hairdo like this guy's.
16 HEY!
17 I'm TALKIN' to you.
18 Wake the hell up!
19 Anybody lookin'?
20 This reporter on KRON had a hairdo that looked like he was a cover boy for Gerber's.
21 And I can talk about people's hair, because I don't have any!
22 But it does one thing for certain: it clearly defines me as a hat guy.
23 I always have been, even when I was a little dude.
24 I remember being a kid and lots of old guys used to wear those cool hats you see in old movies.
25 I always loved how they would all wear their hats at different angles to get that perfect OG look.
26 That's "Old Gangsta" for the uninitiated.
27 Dude you gotta take the oath.
28 Anybody lookin'?
29 Moving on, Part Two: Clean joke: What do you call a fake noodle?
30 An impasta!
31
32 Who was that? <looking around furtively>
33 I'll NEVER do that again.
34 I swear.
35 Okay one:
37 What do you call a fat psychic?
38 A four-chin teller.
39 <furtively jumping into a bush>
40 Give me an all clear when it's safe, willya?
41 <climbing up a fire escape and jumping on an apartment roof unfurtively> Whew!
42 Hmmmmm. Nice sunrise San Francisco.
43 Anybody LOOKIN'?
44 <furtively lobbing one last one into the mix>
45 Why did the birdy go to the hospital?
46 To get a tweetment.
47 Not my fault! Not my fault! I swear to you! Blame these guys:
48 Is there a back door outta this place?
49 Forget this week.
50 It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!
51 I'm escapin' all this madness and headed for parts unknown and unbeknownst.
52 For the record, I always wanted to squeeze the word "unbeknownst" into the mix.
53 And I did.
54 Know why?
55 'Cuz I CAN!!!
56 Have an AWESOME three-day yo!
57 See you again.
58 Stay cool.
59 Peace.
~H~
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