The DN

 Say cheese.
 

 

1   <Godspell carnival music up>

2   I awakened this morning to some news report on the teevee. It played carnival music.

3   Pretty appropriate.

4   I found out last night that I am to check in with the court house to see if I have jury duty later today.

5   <groan>

6   Fortunately for me and for everyone else I consider myself a patriot.

7   Anybody lookin'?

8   I'll be honest with you. 

9   I HATE it with a passion.

10  I'm running around my driveway looking for a Buick I could jump off.

11   I want to take Juliet's fake poison for the rest of the week.

12  It's THAT bad.

13  I'm talking to myself, nothing new since no one listens to my idiotic rants anyway.

14  I'm coming up with all sorts of jury duty ideas that can be done instead of calling people in and bullying them into turning their lives upside down.

15  I thought of this one, which isn't too bad: Why not round up homeless people and pay them a hundred dollars a day?

16  Anybody lookin'?

17  I just pissed off about a million people.

18  JUST kidding.

19  My claim is that I'm not in my right mind.

20  I haven't been this entire school year.

21  fdfsdfffdsfsaf.

22  If I DO get jury duty, they have to pay a substitute teacher for the duration of the trial.

23   Your tax dollars at work.

24   Okay. <places Safeway bag over head and does massive exhales>

25   Anybody lookin'?

26   Bleh.

27   I didn't even watch baseball last night. I just went to bed.

28   fdfadffdsffadf.

29  I KNOW. I KNOW.

30  It's our civic duty.

31   It's also civic bullying, but benevolent civic bullying.

32   I keep telling myself these kind things.

33   Oy.

34   Is that how you spell "Oy"?

35   fdfdfadfdfdsfds. <translation: fiddlesticks>

36   Okay I'm done withal.

37   I'll bite the bullet.

38   I'll take one for the team.

39   As Vonnegut once said, "I am better now."

40   Word of honor.

41   I gottago.

42   Hope I remember my parachute.

43   The king of mixed metaphors is about to take the plunge.

44   The ball is in his court.

45   He talks of himself in the proverbial third person, a high crime to the Facebook set.

46   Which seems to be everyone.

47   Welp <yeesh> the ball is in my court.

48   I'll swim with the fishies.

49   Anybody lookin'?

50   See you again.

51   I think.

52   Late.

53   Peace.

~H~