The ^ Daily News
1 Haha! The Rocky theme played the second I began this, and it was by coincidence.
2 It began when I turned the words "Very Last" green!
3 This Rocky film is on, Rocky Balboa, which up to this point was borderline lugubrious, serving essentially as background noise.
4 But the dramatic workout scene played the very second I wrote those cryptic and lugubrious words. "Very Last" was the play button. I had little to do with any of it.
5 I can't make this stuff up. Go ahead. Don your loudest headphones. I'll wait. Push "Very Last" and then work your way back here in a new window. I dare ya.
6 I wouldn't make this stuff up. This version of the song is distinctly different from the 1977 original, but it still kicked it all into gear. I smiled big, because it still had the flavor of the original Rocky.
7 Yes, it is the 2006 Rocky Balboa which has become the backdrop to my final Daily News. Confirmed. Here it is, for those afraid to click "Very Last." Click the link, not the pic, then open a new window to get back here. Heck, if I could figure out how to rig this all up, you should be able to return, with every version of the song ever made trailing all of this. Have fun wid it! Who cares? Leave in the Netflix ads. It's art.
And here's the original, at least
some of it:
Well...as good as I could get it, given the DN
deadlines.
8 For the record, none of this was planned. I don't even know how Rocky Balboa ends. Except I predict by his stuff that it is all a dream, perhaps the result of a concussion. I don't know, because I've never seen it. Great fight scene. Life flashing stuff. Lugubrious stuff. Adrian. Burgess Meredith. Black and white with red blood. Guy in a hoodie running faster than the sidewalk.
9 Heck, I just needed some excuse to throw the word lugubrious around like a rag doll, and here it is, handed to me on a platter. Let's change gears. Let's mix metaphors. Let's mix drinks, for that matter. I'll have a La Croix with a splash of strawberry Ice, and a tangerine-lemon twist, from my very own tree, if you please. Getting strong now.
10 School's out. How do I have the cajones to throw a vocab word out there on a day when teachers are clearing all their stuff out?
11 Watch me.
12
lugubrious
[loo-goo-bree-uh s, -gyoo-]
1.
mournful, dismal, or gloomy, especially in an affected, exaggerated,or unrelieved manner:
lugubrious songs of lost love.
13 ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! While I was busying myself bringing in the definition, the fight ended. Rocky fought doggedly, and listened to his own advice about taking the punches that life throws at you. The ring announcer just broke in. Here is what he said:
14 "...a round of applause for these two heavyweight Warriors!" Haha! First thing I thought when I heard it?
15 Uh...these two?
The inimitable Cap'n
Numb Skully.
...And Mr. Schmee,
of the size 3 knee;
a scruvyior knave
ye'll never
see!
16 Gonna Fly Now.
17 I just heard weeping from the TV in the other room.
18 The things I make up to sell this thing.
19 Nah, I'm out of the biz.
20 I've spent two days mourning about this, and for some reason, I've almost got the giggles.
21 Might be that mini-bag of Ghirardelli Milk & Caramel Chocolate Squares. I see them as a cure for sadness.
22 Think of anything sweet. It will be twice as sweet if you have a few of these.
23 Anybody lookin'?
24 Moving On, Part One: I would like at this time to thank everybody who was ever a part of this nonsense. It began twenty years ago as instructions posted in the Performing Arts building during a run of Guys and Dolls. It made it easier for everybody involved in that Show to know where they were to be, and on which day.
25 It included everybody involved in the Show, which was pretty much a whole bunch of everybody.
26 So I began adding jokes and commenting on stupid things, pretty much what I have done all the way up to this year.
27 When I retired, I decided to give it one last hurrah: an entire school year, holidays included, only without my being in the classroom.
28 It's interesting, because when I WAS in the classroom, I taught AND got this out each day, usually before 8 a.m., and usually between 7:40 and 7:50 at the latest.
29 If I pushed 7:50, I would often get to school right when the bell was ringing.
30 Or right when the horn was honking. I never could understand people asking if they heard "the bell," when the damned thing is clearly a fire horn of some sort, and is obnoxious beyond reason.
31 I always enjoyed going a half-second over when giving grammar lessons. Inevitably, some toadstool would wake up from his slumber, and let me know that, "The bell has rang."
32
33 I always remained polite. You never want to be a Grammar Nazi, especially if you teach English. I rarely corrected anyone, but that particular miscreant would have deserved this reply: "Uh, it is 'The bell has rung,' you at-sea dimbulb."
34 I was all over Dictionary.com last night. I looked for synonyms for the word "clueless." There were many, but I couldn't resist, "at sea." I approve of this term. Allow me to continue scolding this lad:
35 "And it's a horn, not a bell. Our school should get a No- Bell Prize, for what it's worth, and yes I have used that on occasion." To incessant groans over the years, undoubtedly.
36 Moving On, Part Two: Any time something we're used to disappears, there is a bit of sadness, and a need for closure.
37 I wouldn't be playing fair if I didn't give some reassurance and a bit of comfort to those who look forward to this stuff first thing in the morning.
38 First, I'm just trying to get on with my summer the same as the teachers clearing their stuff out this morning. Many will be out by noon. I was never that guy.
39 So clearing this thing out of here isn't coming easily either.
40 But every year I do, and every year, once I was out for good, I would jot The Rest is Silence on my white board. And then I would turn off the light in my clean room, and leave for the summer, closing the room, and the school year behind me.
41 I can't leave this without giving a few promises that I hope never go empty.
42 First, I'm going to leave the DN active. I will use Facebook, specifically to do this. Each Wednesday I will post the link at some point in the day. Wait for it; it will appear every Wednesday.
43 Next, I will slowly work on organizing it as one might a museum, or a non-fiction novel. It shall have some sort of cover page, which I hope can include interesting links. I also hope to include an index. It could lead you to things by simply pressing the month, and the day. That's my hope.
44 What I won't do is keep this as a full-time job. I do, however, want it all to stay alive, and maybe even include a comment stream.
45 I will tend it as I would a flower garden, so that it will not just get webs in the weeds. That stuff will take time, but we'll just have to see.
46 In addition, I will write and post occasional articles, perhaps on Wednesdays as well.
47 Why Wednesdays? Arbitrary. Most people are at work on Wednesdays, and therefore looking for something to goof-off to. The DN always brought that. Exhibits A, B, and C:
Goof-off Exhibit A.
Li'l Maren.
Goof-off Exhibit B.
Li'l Isla.
Goof-off Exhibit C.
Whaaaaaaat? No more DN, G-Pa?
How will you edit without
my toes?
48 I'm committing to none of this, for the record. It's just a good possibility that I could handle something like that.
49 I'll miss this.
50 But it has become a huge chore. Editing takes time, lots of time, just to get this all the way I want it.
51 I've reached a point in life where I find time a precious commodity. I've lots going on, and I want to enjoy my later years. I hope to be around forever. I love life, and I cherish all people and things around me.
52 Some are gone, and some remain.
53 With that, I now step down from The Daily News, but not away from it. It will always be a part of all of this. I don't really know how to say good-bye, but I'll try by just saying, "Good bye, for now. It's been fun."
54 That's about it.
55 Gottago.
56 See you again.
57 Live life.
58 Love life.
59 Have a GREAT summer.
60 Peace.
61 The Rest is Silence.
~H~
fin.
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