FATS DOMINO I'm Walkin' from American Graffiti

The Daily News

1  Happy Monday! Enjoyable Bay Area sports Trifecta. Loved it, and it made for a great cap to a fun weekend. 

2  Hope you enjoyed your weekend.

3  I walked.

4  And I walked and walked. 

5  My dogs are barkin', but I'm glad I did all that walking.

6  I've been doing it for a few months now, and yesterday morning my feets fell to pain. But a good sort of pain.

7  You ought to walk too. That's why I headlined today's DN with Fats Domino. What better role model? So let's dive right in, or perhaps better than that, let's walk right in, and then continue walkin'.  

8  You see, I'm not an exercise guy. That is, I don't like gyms, overall. Too smelly, too many people, too many bad habits, and too many poop noises in bathroom stalls. Not a fan. Forgive me, but not a fan. I caught this sign on the Internet the other day:

9  I feel bad, because whenever I go on social media, I see that seemingly everybody goes to the gym.

10 It's like this one building that everybody-who-ever-walked the Earth must go in order to establish bragging rights.

11  "Just went to the gym!" they say. "Great," I always think. "How were the poop noises?"

12  I feel good for them, though, for persevering; enough so that I invented my own form of exercise, and it works. I walk. And I walk and walk. 

13  It's just that I tend to do the majority of my walking inside my own house. Not all day. Mainly in the early morning and late night, when I hope I don't bother too many people. It's odd, because I keep moving for a couple of hours, or until my dawgs start barkin', really loud. I then stop, look at the health app on my phone, and go from there. It's not an exact science, but that's how I do. More on that in a moment. Bottom line: I walk 'til I drop. 

14  Other than that, I consider myself a normal guy.

15  I'll keep this short, because most of us have short attention spans. I'm no different. Adult ADD/ADHD. 

16  I don't think I've ever met an adult who doesn't have it. 

17  So.

18  Short-Attention Span Walking:The iPhone Health APP: My iphone has a picture heart on it, and that heart is a health thingy that measures miles and steps, among other things. It looks like this:

19  It's all I use. I thank my goodly partner Jeff Joseph for showing me that app a few months ago.

20  It measures steps and stuff. I put it in my pocket any time that I'm doing extra walking; that is, walking beyond normal, around-the-house walking. 

21  If I wash a glass, for example, I'll wash the glass and THEN walk about fifteen to twenty extra steps before putting it away.

22  That's the walking thing in a nutshell: adding fifteen to twenty extra steps every chance I get, AND I do it while doing normal household chores. That's it. That's all there is to it. To measure, I have a nerdy system. Here are some simple terms:

Lap:  15 to 20 extra steps I wouldn't ordinarily take. 

Rep: A measure of the amount of laps I repeat. If I take a dish towel, a spoon at my sink, then walk an extra 15 to 20 steps around the sink to put the spoon away, that counts as one rep. Get it? Wiping the towel and putting it away don't require steps.

Series: One-hundred reps. 

23  In the early mornings and late evenings, when the chores are done, I do five to six 100-rep series, sometimes less. I will stop after each 100, have water, look at the Health APP, and see how close I can come to six miles, and a six-mile average per day total.

24  That's it. I drink lots of water. My average as of yesterday morning was 6.1 per day, but that is WAY high. I have fluctuated between 5 and 6 miles per day for the past two-and-a half months. 

25  It is not tiring, just a tad boring. Consistency is the toughest thing. I do it EVERY day, and I avoid extremes.

26  So I don't do six one day, then skip, then do four, etc., even though they tell you it's okay. It might be okay for you, but not for me. I need to stay regimented to make it succeed. Just personal. If I sluff, I'll eventually stop doing it. It's too easy not to do it. So I need to be tough on myself. And I find that, given a positive attitude, I can get it done. 

27  I just try to reach approximately 6 miles each day. If I go to the store, I walk up and down nearly every aisle quickly, and cross the store deliberately. I don't linger choosing things; waste of time. I just want the steps to keep adding up. Keep them dawgies movin', the song says. 

28  And that is it. I feel great; my legs have tone for the first time in my stupid life, and I have a clear head.

29  I was able to do it and enjoy wine and beer a few months ago, but for the past couple of months I decided to cut alcohol completely out of my diet, and to bring in lots of organic veggies. 

30  It's all reasonably easy lifestyle changes, and it is what works for me, a notoriously lousy exerciser. The secret to abstaining from alcohol is not to tell too many people. You just choose not to engage. You can have tons of fun at any event anyway, and not wake up feeling like something the cat drug in. 

31  The purpose of all of this is to inspire others, not to brag. Please understand that. You won't see me post too many of my stats, although there is a temptation to do so.

32  I would also like to thank Joyce Zancanella Hornberg for posting her walking stats on Facebook. It makes me look around for outside walking areas, which are much easier to do, and that get myself out of the house, and add yet more to the end total of six miles. Or more. 

33  All this being said, allow me now to brag, but only as an inspiration to some of you: on Saturday we had an engagement in Livermore, where we wound up walking around the Art and Wine Fair. You wind up places. Happens daily. So I wound up at the Livermore Art and Wind Fair on Saturday. 

34  At one point, a large wave of people surrounded me, then subsided. When that wave went down, I found myself alone at the Fair. I smiled, because it gave me a perfect chance to walk. And walk. And walk. It becomes a mild addiction.

35  When I got home in the early evening, I looked at my phone, KNOWING it was going to be off-the-charts good, for me at least. I looked, and I had walked 7.2 miles! I sat down, cooked some dinner, had a taste of coffee and chocolate, and then walked until I reached over 8 miles for the first time since I discovered the iPhone Health App. 

36  My final stats and current personal best on Saturday was a whooping 8.17 miles, 19,134 steps, a 6.10 Daily Average, and a 15, 254 Daily Average of steps, all measured over the two + months I've been actively doing this.

37  I even rewarded myself with Ice Cream (low fat, low sugar Dreyer's), and experienced a personal sense of euphoria and appreciation for sticking with it. 

38  I never wanted to be one of those guys, "If I can do it, you can do it!" because I'm still working on keeping that pace going. 

39  It becomes easy if you can stretch your time, and add the 15 to 20 step laps to things as simple as picking up a toy, or a fork, or a pair of glasses, and walking those few extra steps. If you can, try keeping it all looking as natural as you can. It's hard to stay that active and not have someone look up and say, "What ARE you doing?"

40  Just mumble some explanation like, "I'm just keepin' them dawgies movin'," like the song.They'll probably shake their head. Don't give them a second thought. 

41  If they need more explanation, just say that you are trying to add a few extra steps, just to keep in shape. ALWAYS throw in the "Like I park my car away from the stores, just to add a few extra steps." Everybody gets that one. 

42  As soon as they leave, and the coast is clear, just start thinking of Fats Domino. "I'm walkin', yes indeed I'm talkin', 'bout you and me..." 

43  It's a love song, y'all.

44  Ha! "Y'all."

45  I gottago. 

46  Hope you enjoyed all this. Rock 'n' Roll. 

47  See you again.

48  Keep on Walkin'.

49  Have a GREAT day.

50  Peace. 

~H~

fin.