Monday, May 16, 2016


The Daily News

Note: I decided out of respect to begin this morning's edition with
the sad news of the passing of Richard T. Orlando. 
The DN I wrote before hearing of this will follow. 


Richard T. Orlando, Director extraordinaire.

I was stunned to find out last night that Richard Orlando, the founder and 
Artistic Director of The Northside Theatre Company, passed away last night. 
I had finished writing this morning's DN when I got the news via Angie Higgins and
Dinna Myers on Facebook. I wish to extend my sincere condolences to Richard's family and friends. This is a tremendous loss to everyone.

I first met Richard years ago, in my very early days working with the Yerba Buena Drama Workshop. Some of my students told me of Richard, and it wasn't long before I went over to the Olinder Theatre to introduce myself and pay him a visit. 

I remember pulling up to the Olinder Theatre and wondering where the heck it was. The Olinder Theatre was a small community center nestled next to William Street Park. I remember meeting Richard, who gave me a warm handshake and a friendly smile. 
He told me he had graduated from Chico State, my own alma mater, and that was enough for me. We talked theatre and agreed that theatre was moving too much to mainstream, and that experimental theatre was much more exciting and creative. 

I had arrived over at Y.B. with four previous shows under my belt, so when I got there, I had already decided to call the place the Yerba Buena Drama Workshop, meaning that we would do things experimental, and always dedicate our efforts to things that were creative, and yes, even meaningful. I remember telling Richard that the first show I was going to direct was to be called Silents, and that it would be a tribute to Charlie Chaplin, and to the fine art of silent acting. We hit it off quite well, and for years I was able to visit every now and again,and to enjoy many of the fine productions that 
Northside staged. I was happy to read that in the last few years, Northside continued to grow, and to become an Equity house, which means that it would offer several shows with professional actors and actresses in them. 

What Richard brought to the community cannot be taken lightly. Northside remains a theatrical powerhouse in the community, and I hope to see it remain so. 

I decided to honor Richard this morning, as Richard inspired so many of us with his intelligence, creativity, as well as his management skills. I will end this with Richard's own words from the Northside website. Nobody could address modern Theatre better. Hail, Richard, and may you bring your talents to the heavens.  


Love this pic!








Peace.


*********************






And now, 

Today's Daily News
as originally composed. 

I was feeling all pissy about the Sharks.

Imagine that. 

A bit of perspective came at just
the right time.

AnywayZ

here go: 

The Daily News


Okay I'm officially pissed. 

The Daily News

1  Ah, Sharks.

2  Look. This goes out to you and to all Sharks' fans: You played hard, played better, and just couldn't score. You didn't get blown out. On the ice, a look this way or that would have changed things. The self-fulfilling prophecy is idiotic. Winners know this. You are winners. Don't whine. Win. You're a better team. Period. End of rant. 

3  I gave you reservations for the first seven items on today's DN, by the way.

4  And I'm not your coach. If I were a coach, here is what I would tell you:

5  You have to score more points than the other team in order to win. 

6  It will work better at home, because crowd noise affects teams, no matter how much we want to think it doesn't. Particularly in HUGE games.  It makes a strong team stronger if they remain in the game. It makes players with normal emotions more nervous when on the road. Find the weakest link and make them a nervous wreck. Then bully the other team until they become hopeless nervous wrecks and lose. And when you travel, go on the road with one purpose: to kick their ass all over their own town, and dance on their ice. 

7  And finally, know you've always had the spirit. I think this team can get it done. Don't hurt anybody, mind you. Just make them think you might hurt them. It is so deliciously evil! And finally, scare them somehow with these:









It is SO MK Ultra.

Mind control.

It works. 


8  Moving On, Part One: Anybody see the Toronto Blue Jays v. Texas Rangers brawl yesterday?

9  Jose Bautista did a low slide to avoid a double play, and Rougned Odor became enraged. He cold-cocked Bautista on the cheek, causing a riot on the field. It wasn't a soft blow, and one has to wonder how serious Bautista's injury will be.




10  Absolutely brutal. 

11  I won't even go there. Too easy to go on a rant; not enough time to squeeze all that in. I do have advice for Bautista: Take Odor (perfect name for a jerk) to court. Odor, you arrive an hour early and sue your mother for your first name. Nothing else goes with your last name, but that is beside the point. And wash your underpants; you're going to court. 

12  And Bautista, listen:  What Mssr. Odour did bordered on attempted murder. But don't take that weasel to just any court. I think the guy needs to shudder, and to fall on his knees. Here's where you take him:

13

14




14  Anybody lookin'?

15  It's ovuh, asshat.

16

17  And while I'm on a rant, when did that word work its way into the dictionary?

18


19  I'm going straight to the best source possible for a word like this, and I'm going to find out. Right now.


20


21  Here it is, fresh out the oven:



TOP DEFINITION
One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat. Asshat
by Anonymous October 11, 2002


22  Brilliant definition. 

23  Grammatically poor, but brilliant. 

24  We need that word.

25  Subject and verb don't agree. The word one is singular, the word their is plural. And...?

26  But consider the source. It's not called the Danville Dictionary, it is called Urban Dictionary, and the word has been around since at LEAST 2002.

27  I'd go to the Oxford English Dictionary to confirm, but they would want money. Asshats. 

28  Wanna laugh? Read the list of synonyms for the word asshat. I won't list them here. Family show. So don't Google them unless you are 18 or older. That's my official disclaimer. 






29  Anybody lookin'?

30  Moving On, Part Two: I think I'm turning into a Socialist.

31  I'm a huge fan of Marx and Lennon [1]. Have been for a long time. Here's proof. Listen:

32  Yesterday was my friend Brian's birthday. His sister Diane posted a picture of him and my other friend John Arnolfo on Brian's twenty-first birthday. Here is the picture:




33  It just isn't a good look at all. Here is the look I was going for:




35  But is it art?

36  I love the Conversion of the Cigars. Bubbles always work, no matter where you are. 

37  Yup.

38  Moving On, Part the Thoid: And finally, here's another clue for you all:

39  It's a Drama joke, unique to our old Theatre in San Jose. 

 During a performance of one of our more rollicking Western plays, an earthquake hit, opening a small crack at center stage. At first, I was offstage, screaming to the actors, "Keep acting! The Show must go on!" The performance continued, with a few eyeballs glancing this way and that. Suddenly, a second jolt opened up the crack a little more, and one of the smaller farmhands, young Johnny, became scared, as he was standing right where the severest shaking was happening. The kids looked over to me, and I waved, and yelled, "Keep acting! It's going to be okay!" 

  Soon thereafter, a third temblor struck, and Johnny disappeared through the crack in the stage. One student ran over to me and said, "Mr. H, Johnny was already terrified, and now he has slipped through the crack at center stage! We have to stop the Show!" I looked at the crack, and back at the cast, and replied: 

  "Nonsense," I said haughtily. "It's just a stage he's going through!"

40

41  And finally, if your groaning has subsided, there is this little tidbit I copped from some book or other:

42  A teacher was struggling to teach arithmetic to a young boy. So she said, "If you reached into your right pocket and found a nickel, and then you reached into your left pocket and found a nickel, what would you have?" The boy thought for a moment and replied, "Someone else's pants!"

43  

44  Okay, that's about it for a Monday. 

45  Gottago.

46  Go Dubs! 

47  Have a GREAT day.

48  See you again.

49  Peace.


~H~

















fin.






Disclaimer

The two jokes at the end of today's DN were borrowed
from a great collection of jokes entitled The Mammoth
Book of Jokes, edited by Geoff Tiballs, and first published
in the UK by Robinson, and imprint of Constable and Robinson
Ltd, 2000.

Collection copyright Geoff Tibbals, 2001, 2006

The first publication of this work in the U.S. was
by Carrol and Graf Publishers, 2006

The edition I used was published by Running Press Book Publishers, 2007

The Marx/Lennon picture was from the cover of the book.

********************

The Marx
and Lennon picture happened to come after I saw the
picture of me and my friends, and I was wearing 
the Lennon glasses and clearly using the Groucho
cigar as both cigar and Groucho mustache.

I had purchased the book at Barnes and Noble the day
before yesterday, before the Facebook post.
I loved the coincidence!

Just another in a bazillion. 




[1]
    I know it's Lenin, asshat.















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