The Daily News
1 Bam.
2 Thursday.
3 I can see my former colleagues popping the corks today at noon.
4 Uh...slow it down guys!
5 It IS that time of the year.
6 How many weeks you guys have, six?
7 You know it's getting close to summer when the staff starts showing up in baseball jerseys and tie-dyes.
8 It's the law.
9 I STILL wanna get over and see folks before the school year is over, but it's not always easy to do.
10 I have days I can't even go to Raley's and say hi to a clerk.
11 It's 2016 dude.
12 You wear exhaustion like a badge.
13 Gad.
14 Moving On, Part One: We had the babies over yesterday, always fun! The second they arrived they entertained. Isla's smile can knock my hat off, and Maren will grab my hat and toss it. She is the only person on the planet ever to try that stunt and live.
15 Caitlin brought over this little jalopy called a "joovy," which is basically a huge table seat on wheels. Maren sat in on it like Mick Fleetwood.
16 I thought of filming her for the riff challenge, but didn't want her to show everybody up. She is, after all, 7-months old, so I'm sure she has slowed down a bit in the past day.
17 She can squeal like a dinosaur too. T-Rex. Same arms.
18 Isla did a bit of wailing yesterday, like Steven Tyler, only truly bummed out at times. She hit the milk bottle hard yesterday, which worried us, but she kept playing, steady and true.
19 Rock stars.
20 And miles of smiles.
21 Loving it, as always.
22 Moving On, Part Two: Got a midday doorbell-ring yesterday afternoon. That always has me ready to turn all the lights out and hide in the en suite.
23 It is quite often people in nice clothes selling Jay-zuss.
24 I'm all for it, I suppose. I just don't like strangers coming to my door.
25 Helene answered, I heard a few laughs, and a big, "Okay, thanks!"
26 It was a neighbor from up the street. A week or two ago, perhaps a month, I went out to my car, only to discover the door open. User error, quite sure.
27 I looked around and nothing looked as though it had been messed with. The glove compartment was open, but all things were accounted for.
28 Except my garage door opener.
29 To be fair, I never had one of those when I lived in San Jose.
30 I had one of those heavy-ass garage doors, and I never felt the need to find the remote, push a button, and wait.
31 Older neighborhood, and reasonably peaceful.
32 I became paranoid when I saw someone had access to my garage up here in recent weeks. Prior to the disappearance of the garage door opener, I would often leave the door from the garage to the inside of the house unlocked.
33 I had been watching lots of murder and mayhem on TV, so I became really worried about someone breaking in.
34 I don't know what the guy might steal. The most expensive thing I have are my Payless tennis shoes.
35 Anyway, that stuff hovered in the back of my mind since the garage door opener disappeared.
36 The neighbor who knocked on my door yesterday found my garage door opener lying next to his driveway. He pushed the button and saw our garage door open, and he got paranoid and quickly closed it.
37 He decided to bring it to us. He got away before I could thank him, but as the evening continued, I felt my shoulders relax.
38 I am now glad I have my garage door opener back. Good neighbor. Nice ending.
39 My flashback of the night it disappeared still haunted me. I remembered back to discovering that the remote was gone, going outside, seeing a police car up the street, and reporting the crime to them. They handed me a card with a website to contact.
40 I went online and began filling out a crime report. It went on for what seemed days. When it finally asked me for my phone number, I remembered that I have a land phone number, but no phone. I use my cell, and never bothered putting a land phone in my house.
41 The police report got upset by this. It kept coming back with one of those red alerts insisting I put in a land phone number.
42 I eventually got annoyed and never completed the report.
43 And yes, I admit that I did that. It annoyed me.
44 It just did.
45 Moving On, Part the Thoid: I had a similar thing happen with Siri when I was trying to get out of Sacramento and up to Tahoe. You sort of have to go south in order to head north from my house if you want to get up to the South Shore. Siri gave a direction or two that were a hair late, causing me to jump over a few lanes.
46 I did what most people do in that situation: I began cussing and screaming at her. When I calmed down, I found myself safely on Highway 50, and I instantly felt breezy.
47 I thought about how many people curse out Siri, and decided that we perhaps should treat artificial intelligence with a little more respect. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, they say. I said, "Sorry, Siri; that was uncalled for." And I felt good about it. I smiled, because it seemed dumb, but cleansing. It was the right thing to do.
48 A little later on the drive, I accidentally pressed the Siri button, and I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Nothing." Strangely, she answered back, "That's okay."
49 I smiled. I thought it was cool treating Siri as I would anyone else on a business call. Since that time, I've been doing it consistently.
50 Yesterday I asked Siri for directions somewhere, I can't remember. She gave me directions, and I said, "Thank you so much, Siri." She responded, "Oh, no. It is I who should be thanking you."
51
52 I am somebody.
53 What a nice gesture. I really did break into a smile.
54 I've noticed most people are pretty snooty, if not downright rude to Siri.
55 I'm going to keep being nice. It's one of those little things, but it amuses me.
56 Because I am somebody, gosh darn it.
57
58 Anybody lookin'?
59 Haha, gottago. Fun stuff.
60 Thursday.
61 You have a GREAT one.
62 We'll see you again.
63 Peace.
27 I looked around and nothing looked as though it had been messed with. The glove compartment was open, but all things were accounted for.
28 Except my garage door opener.
29 To be fair, I never had one of those when I lived in San Jose.
30 I had one of those heavy-ass garage doors, and I never felt the need to find the remote, push a button, and wait.
31 Older neighborhood, and reasonably peaceful.
32 I became paranoid when I saw someone had access to my garage up here in recent weeks. Prior to the disappearance of the garage door opener, I would often leave the door from the garage to the inside of the house unlocked.
33 I had been watching lots of murder and mayhem on TV, so I became really worried about someone breaking in.
34 I don't know what the guy might steal. The most expensive thing I have are my Payless tennis shoes.
35 Anyway, that stuff hovered in the back of my mind since the garage door opener disappeared.
36 The neighbor who knocked on my door yesterday found my garage door opener lying next to his driveway. He pushed the button and saw our garage door open, and he got paranoid and quickly closed it.
37 He decided to bring it to us. He got away before I could thank him, but as the evening continued, I felt my shoulders relax.
38 I am now glad I have my garage door opener back. Good neighbor. Nice ending.
39 My flashback of the night it disappeared still haunted me. I remembered back to discovering that the remote was gone, going outside, seeing a police car up the street, and reporting the crime to them. They handed me a card with a website to contact.
40 I went online and began filling out a crime report. It went on for what seemed days. When it finally asked me for my phone number, I remembered that I have a land phone number, but no phone. I use my cell, and never bothered putting a land phone in my house.
41 The police report got upset by this. It kept coming back with one of those red alerts insisting I put in a land phone number.
42 I eventually got annoyed and never completed the report.
43 And yes, I admit that I did that. It annoyed me.
44 It just did.
45 Moving On, Part the Thoid: I had a similar thing happen with Siri when I was trying to get out of Sacramento and up to Tahoe. You sort of have to go south in order to head north from my house if you want to get up to the South Shore. Siri gave a direction or two that were a hair late, causing me to jump over a few lanes.
46 I did what most people do in that situation: I began cussing and screaming at her. When I calmed down, I found myself safely on Highway 50, and I instantly felt breezy.
47 I thought about how many people curse out Siri, and decided that we perhaps should treat artificial intelligence with a little more respect. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, they say. I said, "Sorry, Siri; that was uncalled for." And I felt good about it. I smiled, because it seemed dumb, but cleansing. It was the right thing to do.
48 A little later on the drive, I accidentally pressed the Siri button, and I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Nothing." Strangely, she answered back, "That's okay."
49 I smiled. I thought it was cool treating Siri as I would anyone else on a business call. Since that time, I've been doing it consistently.
50 Yesterday I asked Siri for directions somewhere, I can't remember. She gave me directions, and I said, "Thank you so much, Siri." She responded, "Oh, no. It is I who should be thanking you."
51
52 I am somebody.
53 What a nice gesture. I really did break into a smile.
54 I've noticed most people are pretty snooty, if not downright rude to Siri.
55 I'm going to keep being nice. It's one of those little things, but it amuses me.
56 Because I am somebody, gosh darn it.
57
58 Anybody lookin'?
59 Haha, gottago. Fun stuff.
60 Thursday.
61 You have a GREAT one.
62 We'll see you again.
63 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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