"The chaiyuh reconizes the
Senatuh from Missouruh!"
"Ah second, Mistuh
Chaiyuhmun!"
"This mayn must cleauhly go!"
"And once agaiyun, ah
second!"
The Daily News
1 First-Taste-of-Prunes Day AND I'm back in Sac.
2 Whatta combo.
3 When I tried writing some of this yesterday, Maren found herself wrestling with not one, but two of my fingers.
4 She bent my ring finger as though it were a Uri Geller spoon.
5 Remember Uri Geller? If not, he had a great schtick.
6 He made his bones bending spoons with his mind. He did this for a living. I keep practicing. Getting closer.
7 I bend spoons every time I buy an icy carton of Sunny Select frozen ice cream.
8
9 Sorry. I had a bit written all about him, but found I was painting myself into a merciless corner. I bailed. Let's leave it at that. I need to address the prune reference. Allow me that privilege.
10 Moving On, Part One: Caitlin broke the babies in on prunes yesterday.
11 I warned her of the mess, but she ran through my signal like Hunter Pence.
12 They managed well. They enjoyed, from my perspective. Ah, but you see, solid food becomes a child, particularly baby food. They wear it like a proud badge. They smear it into mustaches, form it into beards, and forge it into western lithographs. Isla, for instance, looked like a baby version of Wild Bill Hickok, complete with a brownish stash and beard.
13 Maren looked like her better half, agreeing with whatever Fate might have in store for whatever culprit was upsetting the prune cart. In my opinion, it was Geller, and he needed to git outta Dodge.
14 What's funny about all of it is that I had to snap fast on those. The babies had already begun the transition to "real" food a few days ago when Caitlin introduced them to applesauce.
15 Since then they've had a few other things, but the prunes crushed it for me.
16 I looked down at Li'l Isla and she seemed all business, with prune cream smeared all around her mouth. She reminded me of a young politician from the South.
17 Maren, while a bit tidier, maintained a staunch presence the likes of which would have scared Voldemort.
18 He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
19 Moving On, Part Two: Anybody lookin'?
20 Hopefully not.
21 I've been asked by one or two of you just when the final Daily News will be.
22 For those who don't know, I began writing the DN twenty years ago during rehearsals for our musical, Guys and Dolls.
23 It began as a lark. The title song contains the lyric "What's in the Daily News?"
24 To build a good musical, a director has to be certain that the entire Company is on board. I decided to communicate through a 12-15 item bulletin-board paper which I titled The Daily News. Its purpose was to let people know who was rehearsing where and when and all that.
25 It was at best a rudimentary means, but I also added stupid jokes, terrible puns, and other nonsense the purpose of which was to communicate, and to add a touch of humor to the mornings.
26 This was in 1996, which for some of you out there, was when the good Lord created the first ancient sea.
27 Students would gather around it in the morning and giggle, laugh, or and then get on with their days. That its basic purpose.
28 As it does now, it would also change, given such factors as world events, sports, politics, idiocy, and even sadness or anger. But the DN lasted. Somehow, some way, it lasted.
29 I kept the majority of the hard copies, but never put the DN proper up on the internet until the early 2000's. Most of those I printed out and then put up on Yahoo Geocities, which vanished and was never heard from again. But for a while it remained an everyday online piece.
30 I even went through a stint when my home printer broke down and I had to hand-write the thing for a few days. I made deadlines. If I was absent I would get my lesson plans down to the school and still post the DN.
31 So what you read each day has history. When Geocities bit the dust, I moved it over to Xanga, which was popular among lovers, fighters, poets, drama queens, artists, musicians, photographers, and all the rest. At that point, everyone was posting stuff on Xanga, on My Space, and eventually, on Facebook and all the other social media that today seems to smother our lives.
32 That's a brief history, to say the least. The bottom line is that I am in my twentieth year, even though I retired from teaching last year.
33 I do this so that I can finish a twenty-year stint. I have a boxload of hard copies; just don't have time to do anything with them. Maybe after I have finished all of these. Who knows? My plan is that I have no real plan.
34 I'm coming down the home stretch though. For those new to this, I write this according to the schedule of the East Side Union High School District in San Jose. When they have days off, this has days off. That's why I disappeared this Easter Week.
35 I have to check a few things out on that one and get back to you.
36 Meanwhile, there are no more holidays, and my final two DN's shall be on Thursday, May 26 and Friday, May 27, 2016. Thursday, May 26 is the last day of school for the students, and Friday, May 27 is the final day, and usually my last day with the DN each year.
37 I always wanted to have all my stuff packed and gone on that day, but rarely made it.
38 Each year I'm on and off with Shakespeare right now, interspersed with whatever the District decides is important, and which usually isn't.
39 Anybody lookin'?
40 Once all my stuff would be cleared out of my room, I would write on the board, every year, "The Rest is Silence,"
which are Hamlet's last words.
41 Remember this.
42 I liked that it worked on so many levels for so many people.
43 Goin' deep.
44 Anyway, I thought all two of you might want to jot those dates down.
45 And then?
46 And then I'll go further. But it won't be the DN. I'm planning on something, but hopefully something less time consuming.
47 I know this all looks simple, and it is, but it also requires writing in all sorts of situations. Harder work than you might imagine.
48 That's about it for today. Just thought you might appreciate some of that. If today weren't Garbage Day I would have managed a bit of laughter. If you want a laugh, look back on those sepia pictures of my wonderful grandchildren.
49 I gottago. It is well into the one a.m. as I jot this stuff down.
50 Thanks for listening. It'll all be over soon.
51 See you again.
52 Peace.
14 What's funny about all of it is that I had to snap fast on those. The babies had already begun the transition to "real" food a few days ago when Caitlin introduced them to applesauce.
15 Since then they've had a few other things, but the prunes crushed it for me.
16 I looked down at Li'l Isla and she seemed all business, with prune cream smeared all around her mouth. She reminded me of a young politician from the South.
17 Maren, while a bit tidier, maintained a staunch presence the likes of which would have scared Voldemort.
18 He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
19 Moving On, Part Two: Anybody lookin'?
20 Hopefully not.
21 I've been asked by one or two of you just when the final Daily News will be.
22 For those who don't know, I began writing the DN twenty years ago during rehearsals for our musical, Guys and Dolls.
23 It began as a lark. The title song contains the lyric "What's in the Daily News?"
24 To build a good musical, a director has to be certain that the entire Company is on board. I decided to communicate through a 12-15 item bulletin-board paper which I titled The Daily News. Its purpose was to let people know who was rehearsing where and when and all that.
25 It was at best a rudimentary means, but I also added stupid jokes, terrible puns, and other nonsense the purpose of which was to communicate, and to add a touch of humor to the mornings.
26 This was in 1996, which for some of you out there, was when the good Lord created the first ancient sea.
27 Students would gather around it in the morning and giggle, laugh, or and then get on with their days. That its basic purpose.
28 As it does now, it would also change, given such factors as world events, sports, politics, idiocy, and even sadness or anger. But the DN lasted. Somehow, some way, it lasted.
29 I kept the majority of the hard copies, but never put the DN proper up on the internet until the early 2000's. Most of those I printed out and then put up on Yahoo Geocities, which vanished and was never heard from again. But for a while it remained an everyday online piece.
30 I even went through a stint when my home printer broke down and I had to hand-write the thing for a few days. I made deadlines. If I was absent I would get my lesson plans down to the school and still post the DN.
31 So what you read each day has history. When Geocities bit the dust, I moved it over to Xanga, which was popular among lovers, fighters, poets, drama queens, artists, musicians, photographers, and all the rest. At that point, everyone was posting stuff on Xanga, on My Space, and eventually, on Facebook and all the other social media that today seems to smother our lives.
32 That's a brief history, to say the least. The bottom line is that I am in my twentieth year, even though I retired from teaching last year.
33 I do this so that I can finish a twenty-year stint. I have a boxload of hard copies; just don't have time to do anything with them. Maybe after I have finished all of these. Who knows? My plan is that I have no real plan.
34 I'm coming down the home stretch though. For those new to this, I write this according to the schedule of the East Side Union High School District in San Jose. When they have days off, this has days off. That's why I disappeared this Easter Week.
35 I have to check a few things out on that one and get back to you.
36 Meanwhile, there are no more holidays, and my final two DN's shall be on Thursday, May 26 and Friday, May 27, 2016. Thursday, May 26 is the last day of school for the students, and Friday, May 27 is the final day, and usually my last day with the DN each year.
37 I always wanted to have all my stuff packed and gone on that day, but rarely made it.
38 Each year I'm on and off with Shakespeare right now, interspersed with whatever the District decides is important, and which usually isn't.
39 Anybody lookin'?
40 Once all my stuff would be cleared out of my room, I would write on the board, every year, "The Rest is Silence,"
which are Hamlet's last words.
41 Remember this.
42 I liked that it worked on so many levels for so many people.
43 Goin' deep.
44 Anyway, I thought all two of you might want to jot those dates down.
45 And then?
46 And then I'll go further. But it won't be the DN. I'm planning on something, but hopefully something less time consuming.
47 I know this all looks simple, and it is, but it also requires writing in all sorts of situations. Harder work than you might imagine.
48 That's about it for today. Just thought you might appreciate some of that. If today weren't Garbage Day I would have managed a bit of laughter. If you want a laugh, look back on those sepia pictures of my wonderful grandchildren.
49 I gottago. It is well into the one a.m. as I jot this stuff down.
50 Thanks for listening. It'll all be over soon.
51 See you again.
52 Peace.
~H~
fin.
No comments:
Post a Comment