The Daily News

1  Last night I got a Dove chocolate fortune.

2  It said, "Anywhere here but home."

3  To begin, that wasn't a bad "fortune," except I had already done that earlier in the day.

4  Sidebar: Dove has changed its fortunes to social media references of late. It is filled with things like "Text someone." Or even deeper: "Don't text. Call."

5  I find it annoying, but I guess the world needs to morph itself to the latest inventions or trends. 

6  If you were getting annoyed by that, I was too.

7  For the record.

8  When I sat down last night and read the "Anywhere here but home" fortune, I had already finished with a full and energetic day. So it was a lousy word of advice, even though I still needed to do more walking. 

9  I had just finished dinner, and was in the midst of a cup of coffee and some dessert, the dessert being a few Dove's.

10  I opened another Dove. Know what it said?

11  "Anywhere here but home." Yup Two in a row. 

12   See sidebar, above.

13  The day yesterday began fast. Helene and Caitlin were taking the babies up to Grammy's home in Paradise for a couple of girls' nights.

14  "Get lost on purpose." Sorry. Another word of advice after the fact.

15  Maybe I oughta give up chocolate altogether. Let's go back to yesterday morning, if you please.

16  The babies were so cute in the morning I almost couldn't stand it. I got to keep them busy while everyone else packed and organized.

17  The way I see that one is that I got the long straw.

18  It took a bit, at least one go-round with Winnie the Pooh, but the babies settled in, and saying good-bye was a little tough. Caitlin got them into the van. 

19  I kissed my front fingers and touched kid on the head, because I couldn't crank my neck to get it into the van. I just backed up, let the van out, and watched them disappear around the corner.

20  "Anywhere here but home." And yes, I did just pop another chocolate.

21  Re-read the Sidebar one more time.

22  Yeesh.

23  Anyway, maybe all these repeat fortunes magically entered my head before I opened them, because yesterday after I cleaned the house, I got bored. I wanted to do stuff around the house, but I also thought, "Get out of the house!" Keep in mind, this is before I got home and read my fortunes for the day.

24  My original plan was to go over to Home Depot and see if I could buy anything I might need to begin a mini-project for the house. 

25  As I got closer to Home Depot, I needed to get over one lane. 

26  My only problem was this: everyone in that lane was a Mr. Wheeler.

27  One guy almost swiped me across three lanes, and others sped up even though I had my signal going. 

28  Did I get upset?

29  Nope. The Home Depot is around twenty yards to the Highway 80 turnoff leads either to San Francisco, or to Reno.

30  I chose the latter. Tahoe beckoned. I needed to see those hills and streams.

31  I shot up 80, and decided that I would either drive up to Auburn, just because I always loved that town, or Reno, which was too far, plus I don't gamble much. Never cared for it. I do like hills and streams though, so off I went. 

32  Within an hour I found myself cruising the foothills of the Sierra. 

33  I then remembered a time I missed the Highway 50 transition to Tahoe and wound up going up 80. I had decided to cross over historical Highway 49, drive through Gold Country, and visit the Marshall Gold Discovery site. My recollection was a good one. 

34  I put that plan into action, and soon found myself driving past the North Fork of the Sacramento River. The area knocked me out. Hundreds of cars lined the area, and young people, kids, and old people walked around in wet suits. This is mid-day yesterday.

35  I passed by the entrance to some of the greatest whitewater rafting spots in the world. The hills, the sky, and the smiles turned the day into something extraordinary.

36  Sidebar Two: The Robert Altman film of MASH just came on. Suicide is Painless is playing as I write. 

37  WAY better than the TV show, in my humble opinion.

38  IMHO.

39  I'll finish fast.

40  I took the road all the way through. I passed through Cool, California. I didn't take a pic of the sign, but I thought it was a cool place, and I became envious. This gal with burgundy hair and a tie-dye dress walked past. Dogs and puppies ran around yipping and enjoying the sunshine.

41  I got to the Gold Discovery Area, and over-ran it. I pulled onto a side road that had this tiny old building on its property. A closer look saw that it was the Olde Coloma Theatre. It was  way run-down, but had a few announcements in a wood-and-glass case. Nobody was around, but the afternoon was moving swiftly, so I needed to move on.

42  I did see a sign pointing to the Marshal Gold Discovery Monument. I turned the car left and drove up the road a few feet. 

43  A sign said, "Highway 153. California's Shortest State Highway."

44  It is just about a half mile. 

45  I smiled. I saw a small parking spot and another building but once again decided not to go in. The entire trip was a whim anyway.

46  I returned to Highway 49, a much longer highway, drove a ways. The area charmed me, just a lovely little cruise. I eventually found a winding hill that led through the side streets of Placerville. 

48  I loved all of it, but decided to turn it all around and head back. I have driven Highway 50 through Sacramento many times, so all became recognizable. 

49  The ride home was swift, way faster than I remembered. Before I knew it I was on my way home.

50  "Don't you use...olives?"

51  Trapper John. A line from MASH just startled me. Elliot Gould. 

52  So my day became a mini-trip to the Sierra. By the time I got home, I felt a clear mind and enjoyed an instant memory.

53  I loved it. I guess I loved it because I finally broke away and drove somewhere aimlessly. This was one of those trips that designed itself, almost like climbing aboard a new amusement park ride. 

54  The day settled, I cooked a great meal, put on some movies, and had coffee and Dove's.

55  And I finished with MASH, a short indoor-hike, and lights out.

56  There are worse things. One final sidebar: I was walking around the kitchen and the living room to get some stepping mileage, MASH playing in the background. I found myself counting the amount of laps I was taking. The climax of the film was approaching: the football game. I heard the familiar music, and all of the great lines. I knew the ending, so on lap 34 I stopped, and watched the MASH unit's dramatic touchdown. Guess who scored it?

57  Number 34. Gottago. The time has come for us to say "Sayonara."

58  See you again.

59  Have a GREAT day.

60  Peace.

~H~

fin.

Disclaimer from Wiki

Although the California Department of Transportation has posted a sign indicating that SR 153 is "California's shortest state highway", it is not: SR 77, SR 265, and SR 283 are all shorter. However, these highways are merely short connections between other highways.