1 Okay.
2 Dodged another Monday.
3 And Tuesday is Garbage Day around our parts.
4 That's the morning that everything in my fridge with the word "TOSS" on it gets the heave-ho.
5 I threw all my Donald Trump for President badges into the trash, where they belong.
6 He is trash. Time to stop pretending.
7 And I have no badges.
8 And even if I did, I don't got to show you none of them.
9 The badges.
10 The stinking badges.
11 Any.
12 Any is accurate. That's what that fellow says.
13 Any.
14 Moving On, Part One:
The Ides of March are come.
---Julius Ceasar to Soothsayer, 3:1
15 I noticed it was March 14 last night.
16 The lit guy in me knew I had to mention things.
17 Nothing to do with the Donald, btw. I arrived at the Ides through a back door. I was searching up St. Patrick's Day.
18 The Irish guy in me wanted to see today's date to see its proximity to St. Patrick's Day. I was much more into St. Patrick's Day. It's more positive and fun. So howzbout I skip all that Shakespeare stuff and move to St. Patrick's Day: A Pre-Celebratory Primer. Sound good?
19 St. Patrick. Legend. Brought Christianity to the pagans, according to legend. And he drove the snakes out of Ireland, even though there weren't any. I'm quite certain they were metaphorical snakes. Politicians, and the evil lot. That sort of thing.
20 If you are of Irish descent, which I proudly am, it is a day of celebration, just for being Irish, and just for being from an Irish family. The Irish are dreamers and wonderfully fun. And they are not without their legends. They just forget about them until the day of. So here is SPDACP (see item 18, above).
21 Wear green or get pinched. Why? Pinching is an American tradition dating back to the 1700's. While enjoying a hearty celebration, it is said that leprechauns and evil fairies can't see you if you wear green on St. Patrick's day, and that's a lucky thing, since if you aren't wearing green, the little nasties would see you, and then they would pinch you. You pinch people not wearing green as a warning to friends that these fierce creatures will pinch you. I have no idea why anyone should ever pinch anyone for any reason, but that's the official Shamrockian explanation.
22 Consider this a two-day warning from an Irish guy who knows a much more polite way of informing people to wear green. You tell them two days earlier on the Ides of March. And then you proceed to ignore Julius, whose friends were clearly not pinchers.
23 And so there you go.
24 The day after tomorrow, just go out and have a lot of fun, and do all things Irish. Most of us don't mind the stereotypes, and it really is a celebration we all enjoy, and yes, we do have corned beef, cabbage, stew, and whiskey, or other drinks of green cheer.
25 Read Joyce, Yeats, and Sinead, and listen to U2. Blast a live concert. And revel; it is fine, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm not concerned, and I will be even less concerned the day after tomorrow.
26 As for the Ides of March, bleh. I taught Caesar a few times, and would certainly be on Act 3, Scene 1 on March 15.
27 I might have taught Caesar a few times, but he never listened in class.
28
29 Okay. Just conveying my decaying age.
30 Moving On, Part Two: That's just silly.
31 I feel better than I have in a long while. I'm continuing eating well, getting daily walks in that are close to an average of five miles a day, and an alcohol intake of zero in the past month.
32 You just hit a point in life where you have to make some adjustments. Babies can make a guy adjust pretty swiftly. Caring for small babies requires good footing and as little dizziness as possible. It's about as simple as that.
33 Here are a couple Irish jokes to hold you over 'til St. Paddy's Day:
Q. What's the difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A. There's one less drunk.
Q. How does every Irish joke start? A. By looking over your shoulder.
Q. What do you call a big Irish spider? A Paddy Long Legs.
34 Moving On, Part the Thoid: Anybody looking'? Confession: I stole those dumb jokes from here:
source: http://jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/worldjokes/irelandjokes.html
35 Neither people who manufacture St. Paddy's Day hats, nor the Guiness people cajoled me into any of this. That'a my disclaimer, and I'm stickin' to it.
36 Ghastly.
37 I just realized yet again that today is merely Tuesday.
38 That is the precise reason I have championed the cause of eliminating Tuesday as a day of the week.
39 It suffers from small epithets like "merely" and "only," as though Eeyeore attached those items to its name.
40 I'll repeat this until I am green in the face: Mondays are wasted days, because everyone is adjusting to coming in for a landing from the weekend.
41 Fridays are useless after noon, and in many parts of the world, Ireland included, Fridays begin on Thursday night.
42 Certainly noon is about as far as even most bosses are willing to tolerate a Friday even a minute past noon.
43 So gather it: if you eliminate "only", or "merely" Tuesday completely, you'd have Monday gone because of the weekend, Tuesday gone, Wednesday perhaps to get the week's work done, half of Thursday, and bam!
44 Much faster week!
45 Why, people would stop shooting each other, or saying the nasties.
46 It makes perfect sense.
47
48 This day, for example, would already not be here.
49 Give it some thought.
50 Gottago. Babies to tend to. It ain't easy been' a G-Pa.
51 See you again.
52 Peace.
The Ides of March are come.
---Julius Ceasar to Soothsayer, 3:1
15 I noticed it was March 14 last night.
16 The lit guy in me knew I had to mention things.
17 Nothing to do with the Donald, btw. I arrived at the Ides through a back door. I was searching up St. Patrick's Day.
18 The Irish guy in me wanted to see today's date to see its proximity to St. Patrick's Day. I was much more into St. Patrick's Day. It's more positive and fun. So howzbout I skip all that Shakespeare stuff and move to St. Patrick's Day: A Pre-Celebratory Primer. Sound good?
19 St. Patrick. Legend. Brought Christianity to the pagans, according to legend. And he drove the snakes out of Ireland, even though there weren't any. I'm quite certain they were metaphorical snakes. Politicians, and the evil lot. That sort of thing.
20 If you are of Irish descent, which I proudly am, it is a day of celebration, just for being Irish, and just for being from an Irish family. The Irish are dreamers and wonderfully fun. And they are not without their legends. They just forget about them until the day of. So here is SPDACP (see item 18, above).
21 Wear green or get pinched. Why? Pinching is an American tradition dating back to the 1700's. While enjoying a hearty celebration, it is said that leprechauns and evil fairies can't see you if you wear green on St. Patrick's day, and that's a lucky thing, since if you aren't wearing green, the little nasties would see you, and then they would pinch you. You pinch people not wearing green as a warning to friends that these fierce creatures will pinch you. I have no idea why anyone should ever pinch anyone for any reason, but that's the official Shamrockian explanation.
22 Consider this a two-day warning from an Irish guy who knows a much more polite way of informing people to wear green. You tell them two days earlier on the Ides of March. And then you proceed to ignore Julius, whose friends were clearly not pinchers.
23 And so there you go.
24 The day after tomorrow, just go out and have a lot of fun, and do all things Irish. Most of us don't mind the stereotypes, and it really is a celebration we all enjoy, and yes, we do have corned beef, cabbage, stew, and whiskey, or other drinks of green cheer.
25 Read Joyce, Yeats, and Sinead, and listen to U2. Blast a live concert. And revel; it is fine, as far as I'm concerned, and I'm not concerned, and I will be even less concerned the day after tomorrow.
26 As for the Ides of March, bleh. I taught Caesar a few times, and would certainly be on Act 3, Scene 1 on March 15.
27 I might have taught Caesar a few times, but he never listened in class.
28
29 Okay. Just conveying my decaying age.
30 Moving On, Part Two: That's just silly.
31 I feel better than I have in a long while. I'm continuing eating well, getting daily walks in that are close to an average of five miles a day, and an alcohol intake of zero in the past month.
32 You just hit a point in life where you have to make some adjustments. Babies can make a guy adjust pretty swiftly. Caring for small babies requires good footing and as little dizziness as possible. It's about as simple as that.
33 Here are a couple Irish jokes to hold you over 'til St. Paddy's Day:
Q. What's the difference between and Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A. There's one less drunk.
Q. How does every Irish joke start? A. By looking over your shoulder.
Q. What do you call a big Irish spider? A Paddy Long Legs.
34 Moving On, Part the Thoid: Anybody looking'? Confession: I stole those dumb jokes from here:
source: http://jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/worldjokes/irelandjokes.html
35 Neither people who manufacture St. Paddy's Day hats, nor the Guiness people cajoled me into any of this. That'a my disclaimer, and I'm stickin' to it.
36 Ghastly.
37 I just realized yet again that today is merely Tuesday.
38 That is the precise reason I have championed the cause of eliminating Tuesday as a day of the week.
39 It suffers from small epithets like "merely" and "only," as though Eeyeore attached those items to its name.
40 I'll repeat this until I am green in the face: Mondays are wasted days, because everyone is adjusting to coming in for a landing from the weekend.
41 Fridays are useless after noon, and in many parts of the world, Ireland included, Fridays begin on Thursday night.
42 Certainly noon is about as far as even most bosses are willing to tolerate a Friday even a minute past noon.
43 So gather it: if you eliminate "only", or "merely" Tuesday completely, you'd have Monday gone because of the weekend, Tuesday gone, Wednesday perhaps to get the week's work done, half of Thursday, and bam!
44 Much faster week!
45 Why, people would stop shooting each other, or saying the nasties.
46 It makes perfect sense.
47
49 Give it some thought.
50 Gottago. Babies to tend to. It ain't easy been' a G-Pa.
51 See you again.
52 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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