Put on headphones. Today's DN is interactive, and designed
to crush the hell out of Monday.
The Daily News
Cue: Peer Gynt. Then get right back here. First task of the morning.
Quickly open New Window, Return to Facebook to Read DN
With Music Playing in Other Window. Switch as
You See Fit. Once You Get the Hang of It, It's
Easy!
Quickly open New Window, Return to Facebook to Read DN
With Music Playing in Other Window. Switch as
You See Fit. Once You Get the Hang of It, It's
Easy!
Tip: Begin quietly. This song gets loud early. Mercy your Monday nerves.
1 And so begins another fantastical week! Own this day. Listen:
2 Lots and lots going on these days. I forgot how much Daylight Saving Time changes the face of things.
3 And we do this all the time because...
4 Something having to do with the Farmers' Almanac, or perhaps something having to do with the French.
5 Right this moment I wouldn't know if I had looked it up or if I hadn't.
6 Memory issues. I stand firm. All right. You broke me down. I'll cop to it.
7 My mind is lazy. My body still wants to walk everywhere these days.
8 I feel like Dion because I'm a Wanderer. <cue up Dion when you re-read. We are laying out a plan to goof-off this entire day. Once you get how to read this, you control your entire Monday. Make it work. With any luck, you'll crush it!>
And then some.
9
10 There's only one wanderer around here, and I think it is that discerning pup (above).
11 <singing> "And they called it...pup above..." ♫ ♪♫ ♪
12
12
13 Anybody looking'?
14 Ah, vat da heck. Have another link. Remember to READ THRU ENTIRE DN BEFORE HITTING THE OTHER LINKS. SO COME BACK TO THIS LATER. YOU'LL GET IT AS YOUR MONDAY DISAPPEARS!!! So, yes, have another link, but after you've read the entire DN:
Paul Anka "Puppy Love" live on Dick Clark's
Beech-Nut Show
15 Just a nugget. But not for snoots. Not a'tall. Keep reading, it'll all work once you catch on. The theme: conquer Monday. This stuff is for rebels, not for snoots.
16 Forget about Lord Snooty AND his pals.
17 This is food for thought, and grounds for further research.
18
17 This is food for thought, and grounds for further research.
18
19 No, doll-face. Not at all.
20
21 I think I might skip town.
22 Anybody looking'?
23 Moving On, Part One: And so it begins...
24
25 Last night my computer was invaded with old Rock 'n' Roll songs. What are the odds?
26 Here's a Jim Dandy:
27 Composer: Lincoln Chase, of all lads.
28 It all came at me of sudden. Elvis jumped in at one point, somewhere around 10:14 at night:
29 So we'll be havin' a rockin' Monday, like it or don't.
30 The great thing about today's DN is that you could put on some headphones and many of these links morph into a sort of Mix-n-Mash Monday. It is designed for reading a little, then going to the work page, but leaving the music rocking. If it is your first read-thru, you are probably enjoying the Peer Gynt link... but each link will morph and change, similar to Pandora. Just trust me: all the music links are good today. The attacked me last night when I wrote this. The idea is brilliant. Crush Monday. These songs kept coming at me last night.
31 I got pummeled. My crazy fingers would accidentally hit things that would flip the page to something else, and it would be some sort of rock video.
32 Some of you have the week off. If that's the case, better still. You can go back to this DN next week, when you are going through the equivalent of a heroin withdrawal.
Continuing: if it is your first time thru today's
experiment, you are finishing or just finished
some Bach, and are morphing
into Schubert. Your fonts may be shrinking.
I have no control over that. Just go with it.
It's nice.
33 I did get a video of Ringo Starr giving a sort of drum clinic. It puts us right behind his kit, which he had to play backwards, because...and are you ready for this? Ringo is left-handed! Who knew? Uh...every drummer on the planet. This goes out to all you drummers out there, for putting up with us idiotic guitar guys and frontmen:
34 I would LOVE to credit that one, but I can't find any information on it. Too bad. It's a great video.
36 Oh, my, my.
37 Doesn't matter. I stood at a pitching machine last night and had to put the bat on every one of these or I surely would have been struck down.
38 Forgive me please, for I know not what I do.
39 Well, how's that for a steppin'-out Monday?
40 Lotta stuff to enjoy, and I could cut this part short so you could throw some of this up there on your work computer, put on some headphones, and goof the day away.
41 Just look serious as heck at work, put this on in a different window and you're on your way. After around your fourth coffee, you'll start tapping your feet. You got to beat Monday down. Stomp on it!
42 A word of warning: ease down on the coffee a little. You don't want suddenly to realize that you are drumming on your desk, AND that you are drumming backwards.
43 This, however, is okay: If you are in a rolling office chair, kick the floor after ripping off your phones for lunch, sail across the room. If you are on a carpet, just rip the phones off, slam down your hands, clench your fists, and say, "Yes! Lunch!" People will smile, and love you for it.
44 Then go outside, have a look up, and dig Monday for once.
45 By day's end, you will go home having slain a draconian monster. Cut off its head, and hold it up to the room before you depart.
46 I gottago.
47 You can get on without me.
48 Jim Dandy to the rescue.
49 He'll fill your feet with nothing but some rhythm and blues.
50 That's about it for the Daily News.
51 In time to put your mama in some blue suede shoes.
52 See you again.
53 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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