The Daily News

1  Well.

2  Quite an ordeal.

3  The world surrounded me with crashing waves and endless madness yesterday.

4  It began when I attempted to put my pictures on a lil' ol' cheap computer I bought a while back.

5  Great little thing, inexpensive, but a good worker.

6  Or so I thought.

7  Oh, letters changed sizes, fonts changed, and at one point the whole thing seemed to vibrate, like an old geezer about to blow his lid. 

8  Caitlin and Helene both told me to get my money back, and to upgrade to a... <ahem> more expensive brand. 

9  Hold That Thought, Dept: I got an Elvis movie on right now, Viva Las Vegas, and it shakes and quakes!  So  I'm instantly rocking it with Elvis and Ann Margaret dancing like crazed hoodlums. Instant smiles from this old geezer.

10  Hard to stay bummed when you have those things happening. But I must needs return to my original thesis, whatever the hell it was. Oh. Right.

11  The ellipsis in item 8, above, after the word "a" and before the word "ahem" was done deliberately.

12  I shall avoid naming the brand, as tons of people these days seem to blow up with loud opinions about things like that. To mention any brand of computer is liable to set off craziness and hate mail from all sorts of people with demons. Can't have that. I, quite naturally, attribute it to the Man, and CIA mind control experiments, which I'm quite sure go on in the present day. People support racist presidential candidates with horrid hair-do's. I won't mention names, of course, any more than I would name the brand of my new laptop.

13  Let's just say I switched from an beat-up Acer I got at Target in exchange for some stale popcorn and a melted Coke,  to something incredibly faster, sleeker, and more elegant. I had to fish into my wallet to make that part work, but at least I deep-sixed the Acer. I got over to an electronics store that shall remain nameless and got a hot new laptop. I ran through the rain with the thing protected in a Safeway bag and got it out to my trunk. I almost sped home, but had to stop by a fast-food place I refuse to name, to buy a lunch you may never know about. About which you may never know. 

14  It took what seemed an hour-and-a half just to unbox the contraption. 

15  You can't be too careful.

16  I then was forced to set up an email account. 

17  That took some doing. 

18  I am protective of my emails just from having worked at a school during contract disputes. Last year filled many of us with a lot of paranoia and mistrust. 

19  I'm comfortable that all is amicable in those areas, but I still don't trust things that have the word "cloud" in them. 

20  I picture a place in heaven where people lounge around on puffy formations and read other people's emails. 

21  Somewhere in the past several years, we have decided that this is okay. I wouldn't worry so much if I didn't see Facebook posts of old ladies giving Hitler salutes at Trump rallies. When did that become okay?

22  I see stuff like that and I begin feeling a different sort of burn. 

23  Not a big fan of the Man over here. 

24  Or have I mentioned that already?

25  Nah. Course not.

26  Anyway, I'm in too good a mood to grouse. 

27  That's the bottom line.

28  Such nice music coming off the TV. Elvis singing' a plaintive ballad in front of a gigantic roulette wheel can only make one's heart melt. 

29  He has sidled up to a turquoise bar with multi round, colorful bar seats, and a sultry piano bringing the mood to a jazzy sadness. I suddenly found my throat on the floor. Funny how music does that. 

30  Heck, I'm happy, and that scene made me sad. I just keep tacking away at this nonsense. Nothing to be done. 

31  It is fun not knowing if this entire edition of the DN might crash in a millisecond. New laptop. Top-of-the line. Everything is new. Except for me. And don't get me wrong: I feel newer than most things.

32   All right, all right. You don't need to be testy. 

33  Moving On, Part One: Yesterday afternoon the TV switched from Elvis and Ann to that segment on American Idol when Kelly Clarkson sang Piece by Piece.

34  Yes, I am in a constant time machine these days. 

35  I may just grab that and throw it on here, no reason except that it is genuine. Click the link:

Kelly Clarkson Piece by Piece American Idol

36  Whew.

37  Strong stuff. Music. I'm tellin' ya. 

38  I've a lot of stuff flying at me with this new thang. Someone still wants me to "Report an Issue," which always makes me laugh.

39  There are unstable people out there using these things on a daily basis. "Report an Issue."...You got about three years?

40  <elipses>

41  Or this one: "Updates Ready to Install!"

42  What were they doing all this time, stretching exercises? Oh, well. Updates ready to install.

43  Bully, bully.

44   Every now and again I go to Teddy. Hail, Arsenic.

45                                

46  And with that...

47  We bring you Monday.

48  

49   

50  At ease.

51  Gottago.

52  See you again.

53  Peace.

~H~

fin.