The Daily News

1  It took me around twelve years to get this thing launched yesterday.

2  What happened was this: I knew I was backed up the entire week AND that today is a getaway day for me.

3  Mini-road trip.

4  Any time the world works its way into those stars, it sets off chaos everywhere in the universe.

5  With me it was with my laptop, which decided to go wonky all morning and most of the afternoon.

6  I traced it to wireless mouse issues and crying babies.

7  I would try to highlight something while editing, and it wouldn't do it.

8   I could list the things, but the list would take up the rest of this post.

9   So here goes:

10

11

12

13  That was a bluff.

14   I will say that still more stuff started to happen. Nothing that hasn't happened before, because I've worked with this contraption for a while now.

15  Not worried.

16  Moving On, Part One: Friday.

17  Everybody is hereby ordered to stop working and to begin pretending you're still working at noon.

18  I include all bosses out there as well. You can do it. 

19  Game over. Take a knee.

20  Your troubles at work can just wait 'til Monday.

21  Moving On, Part Two: Ever hear a phone go off on teevee and then try to answer the remote?

22  

23  Uh...me neither.

24  More than once.

25  The end of the week can be disorienting.

26   Or, we found out, disorientating, which is not only considered correct, but which evidently is the preferred version in the United Kingdom.

27  AND when I accidentally misspelled it (I had it with the e before the i, a typo; I know the rule) I spellchecked, and it corrected it with what you see, above.

28  At some point I'm going to dig out an old Warriner's English Grammar and Comp book, blow the dust off it, and see what old John Warriner might have to say about that.

29  I consider myself that obnoxious old coot who can't stand the idea that correct English must be tossed, since so many people don't use it.

30  That's boushit if you ask me.

31  Straight up.

32  I didn't italicize Warriner's English Grammar and Comp because a) it technically isn't the title of the book, and b) I'm inconsistent with grammar rules.

33  So is Warriner's. I worked with those books a million times and would constantly find inconsistencies with the ways in which the rules would be presented.

34  It never bothered me at all. I like how it brings a human quality to something as stuffy as English grammar.

35  A part of me really wishes that the family could market the books again. 

36  Stephen King remains a huge fan of Warriner's books. 

37  My, oh my.

38  I do enjoy great writers. 

39  

40  I am such a nerd.

41  Actually...

42  I don't consider myself a nerd.

43  I was just burning up items so that I could pull this train to its destination.

44  I wouldn't know if I were a nerd or not.

45  I lost a pair of Dr. Dean Edell's reading glasses the other day because I didn't want to look like a nerd.

46  Dr. Dean Edell has this line of reading glasses that have the price tags held on by little plastic things that hang right over the nose portion of the glasses.

47  There's a way to remove the thing, but I got impatient and took a pair of scissors to it. I have done that in the past, and then would get irritated when the plastic would stay on anyway. 

48  Those reading glasses quickly become classic nerd glasses.

49  I was in such a hurry the other day that I managed to get the tag off, but the scissors scratched the lenses.

50  I chucked them right into the recycling.

51  Moving On, Part the Thoid: I shopped at Raley's for some onion soup mix that Caitlin wanted to use in a stew (delicious stew, btw!). She wanted to make the rest with all fresh ingredients. I went to Raley's and realized that a lot of packaged soups are separated by race: Mexican, Indian, Vietnamese, African, etc. 

52  I thought it would be easy, since she just wanted to get some Lipton. I guess that's for white moms. 

53  I didn't give it too much thought until I was driving home from her house last night at around 6. My mind suddenly flashed on something I saw at Raley's.

54  Something You Don't Know About Me, Dept.: For years, I tried to make pho the way Vietnamese people make it. They make it all sorts of different ways, so I would try to cop a recipe by using my tasters. I always wished they would have a kit that I could use to make it real, the way they now have kits for salads.

55  So last night around six o' clock, I turned down the street toward my home when I remembered something I had seen in Raleys. It was this:

56  My Asian friends will get this one instantly.

57  For some of you, I probably need to remind you of this:

58   Pho is a popular Asian soup served all around the world.  It is pronounced "fuh". Soup isn't always instant. Puns aren't either. Give another glance to the name of the product above, and have a chuckle. 

59  Gottago. Great week. Lots of laughs. Lots of babies' smiles. Lots of cute this week.

60  See you again.

61  Have a GREAT weekend.

62  Peace.

~H~

fin.