The Daily News
1 Let me ask you this: When did sweatshirts become sweaters? Growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area, we called sweatshirts these things:
2 When I sold them at events, the one without the hood was called a crew; the one with the hood was called a hoodie.
3 We called sweaters these things:
4 When I Googled these items, those are what popped up.
5 I noticed around ten or so years ago that people began calling sweatshirts sweaters.
6 I consider this proof that the world has turned officially weird.
7 Fear not, I'm not going down that avenue.
8 I just don't know how those sorts of changes happen.
9 Shoes are kicks. For some reason, I like that.
10 But sweatshirts I will always call sweatshirts.
11 I've no idea why any of it matters.
12 Time to move on.
13 Moving On, Part One: Yesterday I goofed on how I know nothing about Tweeting. I also came across Stephen King's Twitter.
14 I had a lot of fun reading his Tweets. I choose King only because I've written extensively about how much I enjoy his writing lessons. Most writers know of his work, as well as his own favorite writers. In the coming weeks I'll go on a treasure hunt for fun Tweets. It'll be more fun, because much of it will be brand new quotes.
15 Just an idea I'm toying with. I do a lot of sitting around when helping with the babies, so this is a nice way to spend the quiet times.
16 So here comes my first batch.
Ahem.
Ahem.
From King's Twitter:
- Donald Trump is like the crazy, ranting uncle you hope your friends will never meet.
- Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a lousy summer. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.
- Bacon cheesburger, medium, french fries, chocolate milkshake: nature's perfect lunch.
- Internet has been down here, but it's up again now, and guess what? Same old shit! Cute dogs, starlets, weird politics!
- Donald Trump: There hasn't been a novelty act this annoying since Alvin and the Chipmunks.
- #1 on my Bucket List: not kicking it.
17 Fun stuff.
18 I may send him a link to this idiocy.
19 Nah. It would only distance.
20 Besides, I like my privacy.
21 For some reason, my head just pronounced that PRIV-uh-see. No reason. I turned into a stuck-up old coot on a couch for a millisecond.
22 That's a thousandth of a...NVM.
23 I noticed as I combed through King's Tweets that each DN item is designed like a bunch of Tweets.
24 What has two thumbs and is a trendsetter?
26 This guy.
27
28 Moving On, Part Two: Dayum.
29 <pulling self up to the shore>
30 Beach sand.
31 How did I land here?
32
33 Rhetorical Question.
34 I just did.
35 Was there a walrus?
36 Well here's another clue for you all: Vengeance. Gertrude.
37 Leave her to heaven, and to those thorns that in her bosom lodge to prick and sting her.
38 1 V Ghost. Let heaven have dirty hands.
39 Wallace, Wallace, Wallace, wherefore art thou?
40 Frankly, my dear...
41 I know the rest.
42 Moving On, Part the Thoid: No wonder the world is flat on its back.
43 You can place the word like anywhere in a sentence.
44 God, don't ever watch Veronica Mars unless you wish to
stare at a teevee screen for the remainder of your life. That was the Wallace, Wallace reference, btw.
45 And when stars shoot out of your hands, awaken, and know that all this was simply you staring into the beautiful eyes of a baby.
46 And like, on like God's good Earth, there is nothing cuter. Like in the Universe.
47 That is all I have for today. A lot of it was written between mini-doses of sleep. A Midwinter Night's Dream. Nothing more. See it as such.
48 I believe I played fair.
49 At least for today.
50 Ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, renren.
51 Those are the lyrics of the last song from Veronica Mars last night. I think it was supposed to be spiritual, powerful, AND symbolic. I counted the rens, like, for accuracy.
52 Powerful.
53 'Murica. I swear to you.
54 Anybody lookin'?
55 Gottago.
56 See you again.
57 With hope attached.
58 Peace.
fin.
29 <pulling self up to the shore>
30 Beach sand.
31 How did I land here?
32
33 Rhetorical Question.
34 I just did.
35 Was there a walrus?
36 Well here's another clue for you all: Vengeance. Gertrude.
37 Leave her to heaven, and to those thorns that in her bosom lodge to prick and sting her.
38 1 V Ghost. Let heaven have dirty hands.
39 Wallace, Wallace, Wallace, wherefore art thou?
40 Frankly, my dear...
41 I know the rest.
42 Moving On, Part the Thoid: No wonder the world is flat on its back.
43 You can place the word like anywhere in a sentence.
44 God, don't ever watch Veronica Mars unless you wish to
stare at a teevee screen for the remainder of your life. That was the Wallace, Wallace reference, btw.
45 And when stars shoot out of your hands, awaken, and know that all this was simply you staring into the beautiful eyes of a baby.
46 And like, on like God's good Earth, there is nothing cuter. Like in the Universe.
47 That is all I have for today. A lot of it was written between mini-doses of sleep. A Midwinter Night's Dream. Nothing more. See it as such.
48 I believe I played fair.
49 At least for today.
50 Ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, ren, renren.
51 Those are the lyrics of the last song from Veronica Mars last night. I think it was supposed to be spiritual, powerful, AND symbolic. I counted the rens, like, for accuracy.
52 Powerful.
53 'Murica. I swear to you.
54 Anybody lookin'?
55 Gottago.
56 See you again.
57 With hope attached.
58 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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