The Daily News
1 Sorry about the delay in throwing this nonsense out there yesterday.
2 You might say I had a late launch.
3
4
5
6 Too early?
7 Ah, beans.
8 I used to say that to Caitlin when she was really small, and it upset her.
9 She had a toy doll named Baby Beans, a pretty classic doll in the 70's and 80's.
10 Beans was left outside and got toe up by tree branches, nuts, dirt, wind and rain.
11 Beans had to be tossed in the garbage, and had to go.
12 The trouble is, I loved saying, "Ah, Beans!" I figure it is better than saying swear words. It roughly translates to "Ah, you're full of baloney!" It was always done with a smile, and in an obvious joking manner. I never connected it with the loss of Beans.
13 So I still said it every now and again, and every time I said it, Caitlin cried and said, "Don't say Beans!"
14 Not variations. She consistently said,"Don't say Beans!"
15 I wonder if I'll say that to Maren and Isla?
16 As long as they don't have their own Baby Beans. We did Google Baby Beans, a popular little doll-like creature that thrived in the 70's and 80's. For the record, we Googled Baby Beans yesterday, and couldn't find the exact one they had. We did find twins...
17 Moving On, Part One: When I arrived yesterday at Josh and Caitlin's house, I found the teevee paused on a show called Just Add Magic, Season 1, Episode 1. It was on sub-titles, and the subtitles said this:
-BUDDY? - BUDDY.
18 A little psychic stuff to begin the day.
19 My info about Baby Beans came from my writing today's piece. It led to conversations about other dolls.
20 Helene and Caitlin brought up John Seen. John Seen was a garage sale doll, and therefore, a bit of a joke.
21 I remember what Beans looked like, but I couldn't tell you what John Seen looked like.
22 Nicole made up a song with utterly no tune, and she wrote these lyrics. At the time, Caitlin and Nicole were in the neighborhood of 8 or 9, roughly a year apart.
23 I feel I must immortalize those Beckettesque lyrics right here, right now. So Nicole, stand proud! a nation awaits:
Narrator:
John Seen
He's the most wonderful animal
animal
He looks just like a rat.
John Seen:
"Hey, I'm no chihuahua!"
Chorus:
"Of course you're not!"
Narrator:
John Seeeeeeen!
24 Like how that melisma takes the tune home?
25 Genius. Pure genius.
26 If you like Beckett, you'll love Nicole.
27 Speaking of which: The other night I wrote a Beckett spoof when I was in my almost-awakening phase of my insomnia. I called it Waiting for Godard. It had two characters in it: Peter and Torkus. Here is how it begins:
At rise: Peter. Torkus. Bums. Tree.
Peter:
Wanna dig a hole?
Torkus: Huh?
Peter: Wanna dig a hole?
Torkus: Oh. No.
Godard enters.
Godard: Ever seen my movies?
Torkus:
No.
Peter:
Wanna dig a hole?
Curtain
28 Apple. Tree.
29 Moving On, Part Two: I compose this all through the day, but my clearest thoughts exist in the morning. My research has shown me that many famous writers like writing in the morning. I know Stephen King prefers the morning. Steinbeck did also, as well as Roald Dahl. I don't want to try listing the other writers, because I don't want to re-research, plus I have memory issues.
30 That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
31 Writing can be intimidating. It is difficult, if not downright rude to write when you are in a room with other people.
32 I try to write when everyone else is watching teevee or on their computers. I think it is fine in 2016. I am quite able to multi-task, and to keep up with conversations.
33 It is much easier to write without distraction, but we live in a world of distraction.
34 Many mornings I find myself using judge shows as background white noise.
35 I've become a fan of Judge Faith, Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, and all the rest.
36 I'm not sure why. They are usually about landlord/tenant issues, false promises, down-and-out sorts not paying friends back, those sorts of things.
37 A part of my having these on in the background is the same reason I like to look over and see the idiot who tailgates me: I am fascinated with what idiots look like.
34 Some idiot this morning crashed his ex's car, because he was told by a casino that he could win bazillions if he gets to the casino right now. Judge Faith asked the guy if he had ever heard of "spam".
35 The clueless fellow said words to the effect of "Judge, my pockets were echoing, know what I mean?"
36 I almost went over. Even Judge Faith laughed.
37 As did I.
38 I originally had a different ending to today's DN, but as I watched the second case of Judge Faith, one lady got out of hand.
39 I kept glancing up. I usually ignore a lot of these shows; as stated, I use them more just to have a bit of noise in the background. Sometimes silence can be unnerving.
40 Judge Faith warned the lady to calm down.
41 She then ordered the lady to calm down or she would be removed from the courtroom.
42 Some people can't take a hint. The lady was clearly wrong; I won't bore you with all the details. I probably wouldn't remember anyway.
43 The tension built and built because this lady didn't have proper filters.
44 She was an off-shoot replica of Mary Todd Lincoln.
45 She looked like an Amish dame on cocaine.
46 Judge Faith finally ruled against her, to the tune of $2,300, somewhere in that area.
47 The lady began screaming at Judge Faith, dropping a bunch of F-Bombs. The bailiff had to step in, and the last shot we saw was her legs kicking, and teevee censor blurbs around her mouth.
48 I watch judge shows all the time and never saw the likes.
49 I was rollin'.
50 I wish I had more.
51 I swear I wish I had more.
52 Judges must see it all.
53 Gottago.
54 See you again.
55 Peace.
10 Beans was left outside and got toe up by tree branches, nuts, dirt, wind and rain.
11 Beans had to be tossed in the garbage, and had to go.
12 The trouble is, I loved saying, "Ah, Beans!" I figure it is better than saying swear words. It roughly translates to "Ah, you're full of baloney!" It was always done with a smile, and in an obvious joking manner. I never connected it with the loss of Beans.
13 So I still said it every now and again, and every time I said it, Caitlin cried and said, "Don't say Beans!"
14 Not variations. She consistently said,"Don't say Beans!"
15 I wonder if I'll say that to Maren and Isla?
16 As long as they don't have their own Baby Beans. We did Google Baby Beans, a popular little doll-like creature that thrived in the 70's and 80's. For the record, we Googled Baby Beans yesterday, and couldn't find the exact one they had. We did find twins...
17 Moving On, Part One: When I arrived yesterday at Josh and Caitlin's house, I found the teevee paused on a show called Just Add Magic, Season 1, Episode 1. It was on sub-titles, and the subtitles said this:
-BUDDY? - BUDDY.
18 A little psychic stuff to begin the day.
19 My info about Baby Beans came from my writing today's piece. It led to conversations about other dolls.
20 Helene and Caitlin brought up John Seen. John Seen was a garage sale doll, and therefore, a bit of a joke.
21 I remember what Beans looked like, but I couldn't tell you what John Seen looked like.
22 Nicole made up a song with utterly no tune, and she wrote these lyrics. At the time, Caitlin and Nicole were in the neighborhood of 8 or 9, roughly a year apart.
23 I feel I must immortalize those Beckettesque lyrics right here, right now. So Nicole, stand proud! a nation awaits:
Narrator:
John Seen
He's the most wonderful animal
animal
He looks just like a rat.
John Seen:
"Hey, I'm no chihuahua!"
Chorus:
"Of course you're not!"
Narrator:
John Seeeeeeen!
24 Like how that melisma takes the tune home?
25 Genius. Pure genius.
26 If you like Beckett, you'll love Nicole.
27 Speaking of which: The other night I wrote a Beckett spoof when I was in my almost-awakening phase of my insomnia. I called it Waiting for Godard. It had two characters in it: Peter and Torkus. Here is how it begins:
At rise: Peter. Torkus. Bums. Tree.
Peter:
Wanna dig a hole?
Torkus: Huh?
Peter: Wanna dig a hole?
Torkus: Oh. No.
Godard enters.
Godard: Ever seen my movies?
Torkus:
No.
Peter:
Wanna dig a hole?
Curtain
28 Apple. Tree.
29 Moving On, Part Two: I compose this all through the day, but my clearest thoughts exist in the morning. My research has shown me that many famous writers like writing in the morning. I know Stephen King prefers the morning. Steinbeck did also, as well as Roald Dahl. I don't want to try listing the other writers, because I don't want to re-research, plus I have memory issues.
30 That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
31 Writing can be intimidating. It is difficult, if not downright rude to write when you are in a room with other people.
32 I try to write when everyone else is watching teevee or on their computers. I think it is fine in 2016. I am quite able to multi-task, and to keep up with conversations.
33 It is much easier to write without distraction, but we live in a world of distraction.
34 Many mornings I find myself using judge shows as background white noise.
35 I've become a fan of Judge Faith, Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, and all the rest.
36 I'm not sure why. They are usually about landlord/tenant issues, false promises, down-and-out sorts not paying friends back, those sorts of things.
37 A part of my having these on in the background is the same reason I like to look over and see the idiot who tailgates me: I am fascinated with what idiots look like.
34 Some idiot this morning crashed his ex's car, because he was told by a casino that he could win bazillions if he gets to the casino right now. Judge Faith asked the guy if he had ever heard of "spam".
35 The clueless fellow said words to the effect of "Judge, my pockets were echoing, know what I mean?"
36 I almost went over. Even Judge Faith laughed.
37 As did I.
38 I originally had a different ending to today's DN, but as I watched the second case of Judge Faith, one lady got out of hand.
39 I kept glancing up. I usually ignore a lot of these shows; as stated, I use them more just to have a bit of noise in the background. Sometimes silence can be unnerving.
40 Judge Faith warned the lady to calm down.
41 She then ordered the lady to calm down or she would be removed from the courtroom.
42 Some people can't take a hint. The lady was clearly wrong; I won't bore you with all the details. I probably wouldn't remember anyway.
43 The tension built and built because this lady didn't have proper filters.
44 She was an off-shoot replica of Mary Todd Lincoln.
45 She looked like an Amish dame on cocaine.
46 Judge Faith finally ruled against her, to the tune of $2,300, somewhere in that area.
47 The lady began screaming at Judge Faith, dropping a bunch of F-Bombs. The bailiff had to step in, and the last shot we saw was her legs kicking, and teevee censor blurbs around her mouth.
48 I watch judge shows all the time and never saw the likes.
49 I was rollin'.
50 I wish I had more.
51 I swear I wish I had more.
52 Judges must see it all.
53 Gottago.
54 See you again.
55 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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