The Daily News

1  It occurred to me yesterday that I could friend myself on Facebook.

2  I have two of them. Two Facebooks. One was originally for school and alumni, the other for family and old friends.

3  I thought I had friended myself already, but evidently not. I have over 50 mutual friends with myself.

4  Actually, I didn't look. I think I have 50 mutual friends with myself. I'm too lazy to check, even though I got a record ten hours of sleep last night. That is my Sacramento record.

5  And in CIA fashion, my profile pictures are both Tahoe sunrises, pretty sure two different sunrises, but Tahoe sunrises.

6  I make me a good friend.

7  It's a pretty healthy relationship.

8  Ten hours of sleep. Fancy that. Ten lovely hours. That never happens. Hmmm. Less coffee. Lesson learned.

9  Moving On, Part One: I brought my guitar over to Caitlin's the other day so that we could sing and play for the babies. They enjoyed it, although I played Punky's Dilemma for Isla, and when I whistled the fade-out melody, I was way louder than normal. I usually have a mic, and use a bit of reverb, but I thought I might put the tall ceilings to work for me. I went louder because I didn't expect it to be that loud. That's why you rehearse. Catastrophic decision. It startled Isla.

10  Her face instantly turned to sheer fear. The color ran out of her cheeks, and then her face flushed. She instantly began crying fiercely, which triggered Maren, who was sitting across the room. 

11  They both cried and cried. Each cry caused another. My heart sank. My first thought was that they would never enjoy music, for the rest of their lives.

12  I thought I had scarred both of them for life. I had to act swiftly. I segued to "The...wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round..." and other lighter fare.

13  They eventually settled right back in. I found myself a bit rattled.  

14  I don't consider myself a musician. I do play guitar, but pretty poorly.  I couldn't keep a steady rhythm if I had a ticking clock next to me.

15  My voice was a bit raspy from the exhaustion of a full week. I did have days when I didn't sleep eight or ten hours. More often than not, my middle-of-the-night awakenings took place every hour on the hour. Bottom line: raspy voice, despite cutting back on coffee and singing more. 

16  So cut back on your coffee, kids. And get to bed earlier. It is healthier in every way. Preach. 

17  Moving On, Part Two: Yesterday I was going to write this, and then go buy new strings and picks for my guitar.

18  <basketball buzzer> Things-Break-Down-Daily, Dept.:

19  My laptop began draining down. The fonts kept changing and jumping. You know how I have taken to putting the Chaplinesque fin at the end of the DN? I was trying to launch this. That's the last thing I put, like a stamp on an envelope. Takes two seconds. Nope. It kept turning black, obliterating itself from the background. I was running late, which is usually when this stuff happens. Artificial Intelligence. It has a mind, I swear. I no longer talk smack about lovely, lovely Cortana. 

20  I moved to my good ol' Dell desktop. 

21  It buffered incessantly. 

22  Anyway, I got out way late, and Googled Guitar Center. It said it was nineteen minutes away, so I had Siri or whoever guide me there. It intimidated me that I had to drive that far for strings, but worth it. 

23  I expected to have crazy loudness inside. I love guitar; I love loud, but I don't want to go into a store where eighteen young dudes are thrashing all at once. 

24  The ride over, I went Zen and became Mr. Walker, the polite driver in Goofy's Motor Mania. I stayed as mellow as possible, even though there were tons of Mr. Wheelers out in the backstreets.

25  I took a few wrong turns, clearly annoying Miss Siri, who changed to two syllable directions: "Turn right. Turn Left."

26  Nothing like getting the cold shoulder from a machine.

27  I eventually pulled up to Guitar Center. I saw an old hippy couple walking in. He had his socks in his sandals, a bad look. I do it when it's hot because my feet get dry, and then crack if I don't. That's why old dudes get that Cargos-and-Sox look. 

28  I'm revealing my beauty secrets here.

29  It needs to stop.

30  Meanwhile, inside Guitar Center...

31  I'm sorry. Did my frabjous mind wander again?

32  It does that.

33  Inside Guitar Center, I thought this: "Ooooooo, shiny..."

34  The place was completely silent. No amplifiers sounding off, no young dudes, just a quiet store that surrounded me with pure coolness. 

35  They had all sorts of electric guitars hanging on the walls, many that were reasonably priced. I didn't go near any guitar strings. I made it straight for the acoustic guitar rooms, through wooden doors in the back.

36  I loved all of them, but I wanted something a bit light, the same as Jasmine. I saw one, but it was a blonde. She was next to a pink one. It didn't take long for me to see that this was Taylor Swift's line of guitars. They looked a little like Barbie guitars.

37  I sat down with a Fender that played sweetly, looked awesome, and tuned perfectly. I liked it, but it was a bit heavy.

38  I looked up and saw a guitar that said Grateful Dead on it, and it had lightning bolts as fret markers. I picked it up. It was light and breezy, like the Dead. Here is how it looked:

39  I instantly did the opening riff to Truckin', really quietlike. I loved the thing. It wasn't that expensive. It played similar to Jasmine, my guitar that died last week. So it goes.

40  I then went into Wharf Rat, one of my faves. I didn't sing, but that song is well within my vocal range, so it was fun. 

41  I thought better about buying it. It had old strings on it, which many of the guitars had. In San Jose, I didn't stray far to play guitars; I worked right up the street from Muscian's Warehouse, which always manages to have new strings on its guitars.

42  I knew I had to get going, so I went over and bought three packs of Martin Marquis strings, and a bag of picks. 

43  I walked out having spent a little over twenty dollars, joined some string club, and figured I could string three of my old guitars at home, and that would give me the equivalent of one new one. It should hold me over. 

44  AND I hope to buy a piano at some point. I saw a few at consignment stores in town. We could fit a small piano in our living room. 

45  So, fun stuff. I'm going musical again. Beware, world!

46  I hope you have good glass insurance.

47  I gottago. I haven't strung Annabel yet.

48  It's fine time she got tuned up. New strings. I suggest everyone who has a guitar get new strings immediately! Your life will turn around. I swear. Gottago.

49  See you again.

50  Have a GREAT day.

51  Peace.

~H~

fin.