The Daily News

The DN

1 So life isn't WEIRD enough these days that last night AFTER the Giants lost by means of the stupidest play possible I turned on TCM.

2 It had a Winsor McCay film festival going on.

3 If you are familiar with McCay you know.

4 We've all seen his stuff; many don't recognize the name.

5 I've seen this stuff in history books for years, but the films never quite came alive for me.

6 I wasn't sitting alone in a living room watching his stuff on a huge teevee screen before.

7 It rocked perfectly with my mental state, not necessarily a good thing.

8 My mental state is doing fine, by the way.

9 Fortunately I had Dad to enjoy this past weekend.

10 I might well have gone otherwise zany.

11 Moving On, Part One: One thing I forgot to mention about Dad in yesterday's DN. When we got to the dialysis place in South City we had arrived a little early. His usual Saturday dialysis chair is Number 16, which I always thought a perfect number for one of the great 49er fans ever to have seen Clementine walk the tracks of Kezar.

12 The place was jamming. It was like this huge rush of people decided they needed dialysis all at once. The workers ran from one chair to the other like macabre circus clowns. Other worldly.

13 I looked over at number 16 and saw that they were just finishing up on this younger gal. I announced Dad's arrival to one of the guys and he gave the thumbs up.

14 I went back out to the lobby, sat down next to Dad and said quietly, "Okay, so I looked at your chair. There was a lady just finishing up."

15 He hesitated, marinated, turned, looked up to me and said, "Well, tell her to get out."

16 JAY-zuss!

17 The guy remains a caution.

18 Literally.

19 Moving On, Part Two: I watch the news a lot for ideas, and sometimes the news keeps repeating old news.

20 The story about those kayak guys who kayak all the time until they ran into a Great White kept playing, over and over.

21 One guy was downright giddy about almost getting eaten.

22 His answer: "I gotta get another kayak now. Then I'm goin' right back in!"

24 Darwin Award winner. Do they have a Darwin Award for people who beat the odds?

25 The news couldn't leave that alone.

26 One station that was pro-kayak-in-ocean mentioned that the odds of dying by getting eaten by a shark are slimmer than dying by getting hit in the head with a coconut.

27 You can't make this stuff up. I'm pretty sure this was more urban myth than news, but who bothers to check sources these days? Not the news, I'm telling you.

28 Moving On, Part Three: I gotta LOVE the story of the guy who tried running to and through the Bermuda Triangle.

29 Bet he is a chick magnet.

31 He needed to be rescued, but still stood tall. He had made this enormous clear plastic donut with some sort of paddle beneath it that could get him going on water.

32 Shouldn't you just ask Jesus for that sort of advice? He must have had lots of tricks up His gown.

33 fdfsdafsafsdafsda.

34 That was a wine break. Don't know what inspired it.

36 I'm thinking of boycotting the internet.

37 The picture above? When I Googled "Portraits of Jesus" I found most pretty offensive.

38 You should do that.

39 As a kid raised Catholic, I can't believe the amount of different Jesus's there are.

40 Is the apostrophe okay there?

41 Jesus can make it disappear.

42 Any Catholic decisions on the Oxford comma?

43 Moving On, Part Four: That wine glass I just finished held some good hooch. I was told in no uncertain terms to change the subject.

44 Now THAT would be Mom talking, not the woman Dad said would have confronted me for throwing flowers on other peoples' graves.

45 I'm sure he was being the wiseacre I've come to know and love.

46 Ah, wilderness.

47 When you start talking Eugene O' Neill you're clearly ready for a snooze.