WAKE UP STUPID.
IT'S MONDAY.
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2 It does that.
3 It's a gargoyle that hides on a corner building, waiting for the weekend to end so it can pounce.
4 The funny thing about Monday is I ALWAYS feel I prepare for it, every time it comes around.
5 The last time I felt confident on a Monday I forgot my keys, tripped over cords, and lost five minutes of brilliant thoughts during a sustained classroom pause.
6 That happens when you get older. Or when you drink fluoridated water. So avoid both.
7 How do I compare it?
8 Ever walk into a room and forget why?
9 It's like you just got hit by an iron gargoyle, without the pain.
11 Them what knows me knows I usually do Mondays fine. It's Tuesdays that give me a raw deal.
12 I have had an ongoing campaign against Tuesdays for years now, although last Tuesday gave me pause.
13 It was Fat Tuesday, a Fun-a-Thon surrounding Mardis Gras, Renaissance masks, pots of gumbo, and bejeweled ladies wearing cheap perfume.
14 I wound up making a wonderful pot of gumbo and celebrating with Crystal Light and Nutella. HELLA Nutella.
15 I realize it goes against everything I ever preached, but I actually had a good Tuesday last week.
16 Today? I need one of those ice packs that you see in old movies.
17 We can get through these dark times together, don't you think?
18 Moving On, Part One: Saw my first baseball game of the Spring on Saturday. The Giants lost 18 to 3. I think that was the score. A part of me wasn't so sure it was the Giants.
19 Anyhow, good to hear the sounds of the season, even it it is early.
20 Good times.
21 fdalk;fjkdaf.
22 Anybody got any suggestions for today?
23 I must confess: I'm not really as ready as I am most Mondays.
24 I tried over the weekend to break the world record for grading essays.
25 I got to about three when I wanted to jump off the hood of a Buick.
26 That's about four times in the past week.
27 Wait a minute.
28 Today doesn't count as being a part of the same week.
29 Thank goodness.
30 Moving On, Part Two: I'm going to be HELLA mixed up today.
31 HALLA.
32 I'm always convinced there is some sort of difference between the two pronunciations.
33 I'm so Nor-Cal.
34 I'm going to be mixed up due to Daylight Saving Time.
35 I traditionally don't fix the clock on any car I own.
36 The T000000NDRA was forever seventeen minutes ahead.
37 Why seventeen?
38 So I would arrive on time to things.
39 When I got into the Ol' Timeuh aka Batmobile (perhaps Old Bat Mobile? Thinkst thou?) I set the clock seventeen minutes fast simply because I had gotten used to it.
40 When Daylight Saving Time fell back, it became an hour and sixteen. I somehow lost a minute, but always knew exactly what time it was.
41 I'm seriously considering setting all my clocks to the exact time.
42 I wouldn't dare attempt it on a Gargoyle Monday tho.
43 Ahhhhh life!
44 Shirley Temple just said that in some old movie.
45 Right after I had turned the Gargoyle and the Monday into a proper noun. She walked into a room, threw her arms wide and exclaimed, "Ahhhhh life!" Good ol' Shirley Temple.
46 Today won't work at all though. The only thing that would work would be if someone I know walked into my classroom midday and gave me a loaded ice pack, any color but blue.
47 I can't change the clock on Tuesday either, because it is a normal Tuesday, which is anathema to me.
48 Wednesday will never work. Meeting day. We need to meet in order to add more work to our workload, and to justify foolishness.
49 Anybody lookin'?
50 <looking around>
51 I gottago.
52 Gotta BOUNCE.
53 Lates.
54 Have a wonderful day.
55 Fly low.
56 See you again.
57 Peace.
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