The DN

Today's DN screams for a thesis. I brought a fun piece yesterday reminding all of us
who had dragged ourselves through Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet to think back to
when we first saw that movie. We were innocent, fresh and open to the plot. Life hadn't yet crushed our spirits. We weren't cynical about weather reports, chem trails or Facebook morons. And none of us would admit to having turned snooty--not yet! Goodness no! And yet...
 Romeo and Juliet was relevant because we lived our youth with hearts and with sincere passion. Love was real to us, the adult world corrupted with violent hypocrisy and sheer ugliness, none of which we ever wanted, expected nor even asked for.
 Somewhere in all of this, we all crept into that silly baggage, becoming more and more irrelevant, and what is worse, not noticing.

Today's DN establishes nothing more than a simple request that we wake up this morning and re-examine our overstuffed and ridiculous selves, for us to look at the world once more with a cloudiness, but with fair skies, open minds and youthful clarity. For one day, give yourself back to you. Staying relevant is a fun theme, especially when the person for whom we may need to stay most relevant
is ourselves.

Hope you enjoy this. Have a GREAT Friday.

~H~

1  The Art of Staying Relevant: Part One: Don't have boring titles.

2   I'm changing the opening sidebar to this: The Legend of Lord Snooty and And His Pals. Whatdya think?

3   Stay consistent.

4    Don't over-comment on how stupid everything is. It's the world's only constant. Take advantage.

5   If you've somehow managed to have reached forty, avoid posting selfies, especially if you want to sport your new jewelry, or your sagging cleave.

6   Reduce your use of the word "like" to one time per sentence, and then realize that you already need intervention. 

7   Allow the young to realize you respect their charm.

8   Tip big. Respect that people work hard.

9   Care about people, but don't advertise it all the time. You want to disappear? Self-promote.

10  Don't kiss your boss' ass. Don't criticize your boss. Just nod and smile when the subject of your boss comes up.

11  When someone asks, "How ARE you???" just answer, "I'm doing great! How're YOU?"

12   That's not the time to be honest. Honestly.

13   Don't love animals 'cuz it's cool. Love animals because you get their chi. It's all in the eyes.

14  Pets are not accessories. Learn this fast.

15  Pets are cool and deserve more respect than most people you try to impress.

16  Know who Royal Teeth is:

17   End sentences with "with" even though it's a preposition. 

18   Do little things for big people. 

19   Say "Thank you!" every time someone does something thoughtful.

20  Don't get mad because people aren't hip to chem trails.

21   Laugh and love.

22   Give yourself time, but not too much time to process daily things.

23   If you have to post your relaxations on Facebook, then you aren't relaxing. You oughta get paid. 

24   Spell things correctly. 

25   Count to ten every time something drives you cuckoo. VERY important to staying relevant. 

26   Stop reading this. You MUST be bored shitless.

27   M'bad.

28   Do great things and tell no one about them. 

29   Realize that every person walking around is their own world, and that they all have the same bugaboos you do. 

30   Stay cute. It works only when you aren't trying.

31   Cute becomes easier the older you get.

32 

33   Live the dream. 

34   Have patience with people who still dream.

35   Be genuine. People see right through fake.

36   Offer no unsolicited advice, but read friends or family in need. 

37   Get offline for at least one day a week.

38   I KNOW, I KNOW!!!

39   If someone says you can't clean up tomato sauce or melted cheese, don't argue. Own it. 

40   Bring up Disney.

41   Bring up Disneyland.

42   Hit the ocean with someone. 

43   Learn that anything baked will be down home.

44   Listen to Beethoven. He can make Mozart look irrelevant. 

45   Understand kids. They are sincere.

46   Read Shakespeare. He knew all of this.

47   Invite people over for a good time. Then have one. 

48   Laugh with family. 

49   Laugh with friends.

50   Watch black and white movies. Call them "movies" instead of  "films". If you are famous, it is okay to refer to them as "pictures". I dunno why, but I wish to remain relevant.

51  Keep a song for your heart, and sing it whenever the world falls apart.

52  Look to the rainbow.

53   Gottago.

54   Happy Friday.

55   Peace.

~H~

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