The Daily News
1 You know how they sell Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines to dieters?
2 I thought of becoming an entrepreneur and selling Stupid Ones to people who would like to have alternate choices.
3 Instead of having three Mushroom Mezaluna raviolis, for example, you could get a huge box containing an Iguana's Burritozilla for eight, with a side of rice and beans topped with a mountain of four Mexican cheeses. A smaller box could be attached like a mini-train and have easy-to-cook In-n-Out Animal fries.
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4 They could have a thaw-and-eat ice cream milkshake with 100% whipped cream, made with real cream. You can experiment around with other ingredients. They should come out looking something like this:
You could have three of 'em!
5 This way, one hungry guy whose girlfriend is downing Smart Ones doesn't have to starve. She's probably going to sneak Chicken and Waffles at 10 p.m. anyway.
6 Makes perfect sense to me.
6 1/2 Just a thought here on a Friday getaway.
7 Ha.
8 Lent.
9 I once again gave up Lent for Lent.
10 It is also Friday, which means no meat for some.
11 I never was sure which rules apply in all of this.
12 Anyway, it is a getaway, and lots of schools have next week off.
13 To my friends getting that break, you deserve it. I always enjoyed this week, even though it does break up lesson-continuity for the students.
14 I'm going to enjoy this week. I'm giving the DN a week off. I never published the DN during weekends or holidays, so the twenty-year effort remains intact.
15 AND I have no deadlines next week.
16 Did I miss a deadline somewhere in there? The Rock 'n' Roll stuff was tons of fun, but brutal. Nah. I double-checked. I sent this morning's at 10:18 a.m.
17 It was nice coming out this afternoon with goofing off once again in full play.
18 I was just notified that this is Friday. Is that right?
19 I positively didn't miss a deadline. Established. I just had a late launch.
20 Call me Late-for-Launch, but don't call me a slacker.
21 So yes, I zip this one up and I'm taking off for a week.
22 I'll still hop on Facebook and make inane comments, like we all do. But hmmm. I've no plans for going down to the Bay Area this week, at least not right now. I know this sounds crazy, but I need a little break from writing.
23 I know. Must be tough.
24 Fun though, and I keep learning something each time I post.
25 Moving On, Part One: Rat Guy came by this morning at around 7:20. I knew he was coming to see if his traps caught anything.
26 Of course I awakened every hour on the hour knowing that some Alpha-rat was going to fall from the ceiling and attack me. When I did finally get to sleep, I dreamt of little tiny mice running along power lines. Just before I woke up, a huge one scared me out of my wits. And then poof! It disappeared.
27 I opened my eyes and found I was still sitting in Le Luge. My laptop caused a huge silhouette of my headphone cord to hit the ceiling, and each time I turned it looked like the Rat Signal. The shadow of the cord kept moving back and forth like a gigantic rat tale, and I finally had to yank the phones out of my laptop. I was streaming a conspiracy show and listening to all this frightening stuff in the middle of the night.
28 When I pulled the phone jack out, some conspiracy dude was ranting about the end of the world. Just what I needed.
29 Everything righted itself. I closed the computer, got up and decided to walk around for an hour. It was six a.m., a perfectly horrible time to awaken after not sleeping all night.
30 And Rat Guy would be here at any time. <Mission Impossible music up>
31 Helene woke up and we conversated. I told her I was certain that Rat Guy was a C.I.A. agent trying to scare us. I jokingly said that Rat Guy bugged every nook and cranny of our place. I figured the Man knew I had been listening about how Hitler made it to Argentina and stuff. My Dad used to tell me that. Hitler made it out and got to Argentina by using what they called the Ratline.
32 Coincidences, I swear to you. That was what the guy on the stream was chittering about. Vatican corruption and all that stuff. I told Helene that CIA dudes get put together in the Office of Naval Intelligence. And that Rat Guy would make a perfect spy.
33 The doorbell rang at exactly 7:20. I genially answered the door and said, "Yeah dude, we're awake. We both got up at 5:30...
34 "I've been up since 3:30," he said. "I guess I just can't shake that Navy thing. I'm going out to the truck to get my ladder."
35 "I'll just close the door to keep it warm in here. It's unlocked, so it is okay to come right in!" I said. He actually is a nice fellow. It was fun pretending that he was a spy for the
Man.
36 I pulled Helene over and said, "He clearly is listening to us. He just mentioned the Navy again! Guy's a spy!"
37 She rolled her eyes.
38 As the sun came up and things brightened it rolled into a pretty nice morning. Rat Guy and I exchanged rat stories. We had rats in the Theatre when we did the older Midsummer. I recall that the papier mache we used for the forest attracted tons of mice. I heard them zooming around in the trees and on the banks of the river.
39 I looked up how to get rid of them, and set traps each day. I caught several, and eventually they left. It was a brief episode, but one worth noting if you use papier mache on sets.
40 Anyway, he came and left really early, leaving me with a relatively free morning.
41 I thought he was going to be there for around five more hours, but he knew it was Friday the same way everyone knows it's Friday. And a LOT of people have at least Monday off, so it turned into an enjoyable morning.
42 And a great afternoon. Two bathed babies are cooing and lying next to me as we speak. They are dressed in Valentine outfits, and they are killin' me with cuteness.
43 I took a picture, but they looked like two members of the Senate listening to an annoying filibuster. I'll get better ones out there in the next couple days.
44 So I'm cutting it short today.
45 I will be back with the DN on Monday, February 22, Washington's birthday. It's been a fun year doing this; glad I did it.
46 Meanwhile, I'm gonna relax up here, and see where things head.
47 Have a GREAT weekend, and Valentine's Day is incoming. Hope you have a sweet one.To those of you who can't stand Valentine's Day, consider this my Valentine to you!
48 Have a fun weekend, and we'll be back!
49 Gottago.
40 See you again.
41 Peace.
fin.
8 Lent.
9 I once again gave up Lent for Lent.
10 It is also Friday, which means no meat for some.
11 I never was sure which rules apply in all of this.
12 Anyway, it is a getaway, and lots of schools have next week off.
13 To my friends getting that break, you deserve it. I always enjoyed this week, even though it does break up lesson-continuity for the students.
14 I'm going to enjoy this week. I'm giving the DN a week off. I never published the DN during weekends or holidays, so the twenty-year effort remains intact.
15 AND I have no deadlines next week.
16 Did I miss a deadline somewhere in there? The Rock 'n' Roll stuff was tons of fun, but brutal. Nah. I double-checked. I sent this morning's at 10:18 a.m.
17 It was nice coming out this afternoon with goofing off once again in full play.
18 I was just notified that this is Friday. Is that right?
19 I positively didn't miss a deadline. Established. I just had a late launch.
20 Call me Late-for-Launch, but don't call me a slacker.
21 So yes, I zip this one up and I'm taking off for a week.
22 I'll still hop on Facebook and make inane comments, like we all do. But hmmm. I've no plans for going down to the Bay Area this week, at least not right now. I know this sounds crazy, but I need a little break from writing.
23 I know. Must be tough.
24 Fun though, and I keep learning something each time I post.
25 Moving On, Part One: Rat Guy came by this morning at around 7:20. I knew he was coming to see if his traps caught anything.
26 Of course I awakened every hour on the hour knowing that some Alpha-rat was going to fall from the ceiling and attack me. When I did finally get to sleep, I dreamt of little tiny mice running along power lines. Just before I woke up, a huge one scared me out of my wits. And then poof! It disappeared.
27 I opened my eyes and found I was still sitting in Le Luge. My laptop caused a huge silhouette of my headphone cord to hit the ceiling, and each time I turned it looked like the Rat Signal. The shadow of the cord kept moving back and forth like a gigantic rat tale, and I finally had to yank the phones out of my laptop. I was streaming a conspiracy show and listening to all this frightening stuff in the middle of the night.
28 When I pulled the phone jack out, some conspiracy dude was ranting about the end of the world. Just what I needed.
29 Everything righted itself. I closed the computer, got up and decided to walk around for an hour. It was six a.m., a perfectly horrible time to awaken after not sleeping all night.
30 And Rat Guy would be here at any time. <Mission Impossible music up>
31 Helene woke up and we conversated. I told her I was certain that Rat Guy was a C.I.A. agent trying to scare us. I jokingly said that Rat Guy bugged every nook and cranny of our place. I figured the Man knew I had been listening about how Hitler made it to Argentina and stuff. My Dad used to tell me that. Hitler made it out and got to Argentina by using what they called the Ratline.
32 Coincidences, I swear to you. That was what the guy on the stream was chittering about. Vatican corruption and all that stuff. I told Helene that CIA dudes get put together in the Office of Naval Intelligence. And that Rat Guy would make a perfect spy.
33 The doorbell rang at exactly 7:20. I genially answered the door and said, "Yeah dude, we're awake. We both got up at 5:30...
34 "I've been up since 3:30," he said. "I guess I just can't shake that Navy thing. I'm going out to the truck to get my ladder."
35 "I'll just close the door to keep it warm in here. It's unlocked, so it is okay to come right in!" I said. He actually is a nice fellow. It was fun pretending that he was a spy for the
Man.
36 I pulled Helene over and said, "He clearly is listening to us. He just mentioned the Navy again! Guy's a spy!"
37 She rolled her eyes.
38 As the sun came up and things brightened it rolled into a pretty nice morning. Rat Guy and I exchanged rat stories. We had rats in the Theatre when we did the older Midsummer. I recall that the papier mache we used for the forest attracted tons of mice. I heard them zooming around in the trees and on the banks of the river.
39 I looked up how to get rid of them, and set traps each day. I caught several, and eventually they left. It was a brief episode, but one worth noting if you use papier mache on sets.
40 Anyway, he came and left really early, leaving me with a relatively free morning.
41 I thought he was going to be there for around five more hours, but he knew it was Friday the same way everyone knows it's Friday. And a LOT of people have at least Monday off, so it turned into an enjoyable morning.
42 And a great afternoon. Two bathed babies are cooing and lying next to me as we speak. They are dressed in Valentine outfits, and they are killin' me with cuteness.
43 I took a picture, but they looked like two members of the Senate listening to an annoying filibuster. I'll get better ones out there in the next couple days.
44 So I'm cutting it short today.
45 I will be back with the DN on Monday, February 22, Washington's birthday. It's been a fun year doing this; glad I did it.
46 Meanwhile, I'm gonna relax up here, and see where things head.
47 Have a GREAT weekend, and Valentine's Day is incoming. Hope you have a sweet one.To those of you who can't stand Valentine's Day, consider this my Valentine to you!
48 Have a fun weekend, and we'll be back!
49 Gottago.
40 See you again.
41 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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