The Daily News
1 I found this in my iPhone notes yesterday:
Avast just told me I have 970 stability issues.
Avast just told me I have 970 stability issues.
2 They know me like a book.
3 What a thing to tell a guy.
4 Good thing I'm not the nervous sort.
5
6 Anybody lookin'?
7 <loud noise on teevee> <boom.>
9 Whatwuzthat?
10 Yesterday's Series Episodic with the lady who sees the future. The show is called Medium.
11 Strange show. Half the show is a woman sleeping and mumbling stuff when she is in bed with her hubby. You can never hear what they are talking about, but it is clear they are enunciating. Good show, if you turn the sound way up. We did, and guess what?
12 A loud gunshot went off. It was on one episode or the other. It was WAY loud. I swear to you that it sounded like it said, "Pow!"
13 No lie.
14
15 It was so loud that it frightened one of the babies.
16 Isla looked scared. This gave me an excuse to calm her down and elicit a magical smile. Maren looked from across the room and didn't look like she had even heard it.
17 It scared me too. But watching Isla calm down and roll into a smile, let me tellya.
18 Cuteness never looked so good. I loves me those babies.
19 Moving On, Part One: On my drive home from the baby cuteness last night I thought I might stop by the local CVS to see if I might find something for dinner. Not exactly a dinner place, right?
20 The last thing that place offers is dinner stuff. I'm not really sure what their theme is. Antacids? Cheap perfumes? Three-minute Lean Cuisines? Dove Shampoo?
21 I didn't know what to do with myself. Ever walk into a store and it is just all around you? Like you are the ring leader in a pinkish circus?
22 I decided that the only way to find my way home was through chocolate. Years ago I wrote a one-act. It was a life lesson about love. I'll spare you the details, but it had a narrator commenting on a gal's behavior after just having been dumped. The narrator was cynical, the girl innocently broken-hearted. The solution? Chocolate. We rehearsed with Dove chocolates, which are conceivably the most dangerous chocolates on the planet.
23 CVS. I can never remember that. I did think this as I entered the pink circus: "Chocolate Very Sweet!" came at me as a mnemonic device.
24 If you don't know, Dove chocolates are enchanted.
25 Our CVS knows this. They have words of advice on the inside of the aluminum wrappings.
26 They are the chocolate version of Asian fortune cookies.
27 No lie.
28 Do you ever make vanity purchases? Dove chocolates, especially in February. They are shaped like hearts, and come in various offshoots of pink and red this time of year.
29 Dove chocolates?
30 More like insanity chocolates.
31 And they command your future, sort of like fortune cookies on the lam.
32 Have one.
33 You shall fall awash in sweet dreams and potential good fortunes. They also cost a good fortune.
34 Some entrepreneur had his socks squarely on.
35 Dude.
36 It is officially last night.
37 I bought a bag of Valentine Doves.
38 <Tchaikovsky's Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet Overture under softly>
39 I swirled, for goodness sakes.
40 CVS.
41 No lie.
42 And it is Chocolate-in-the-Afternoon O' Clock as I compose this piece.
43 Somewhere in all of this I drifted off yesterday early evening, and then I awakened in the middle of the night to handfuls of Dove chocolates conveniently placed on every flat surface of the dining/kitchen area. But ignore all that. I was talking about the one-act play I wrote that featured Dove chocolates.
44 Did I digress? Dove's cause that. In fact, the broken-hearted girl in the one-act <spoiler alert> got lured
away from her abject misery by the cynical narrator's handful of Dove chocolates, the classic blue/silver ones, for the record. She froze in utter bliss, while the narrator, a direct fourth-wall blitzer a' la Wilder, finished the scene with a line beginning with, "You know..." and then some mumbo jumbo using names of Greek philosophers.
45 For those who were around, Maggie Pham played the narrator, and Karena Ramirez the broken-hearted girl, and they played the parts wonderfully.
46 The narrator gave a furtive glance to the audience and finished the "You know..." monologue with these words of wisdom:
47 "You know...all you need isn't love. All you need is chocolate." I claim original authorship of that line.
48 That was a fun line to write. It is one of those where you lift your pencil way up high and and lay it down fiercely when you dot the final "i". Bring up the 1812 Overture full blast.
49 I didn't end the play with the 1812 Overture, possibly because of its connection to Quaker Oats.
50 This in some odd way connotes Richard Nixon, who was a Quaker.
51 That's a far cry from pinkishly-wrapped Dove chocolates.
52 Imagery, I swear to you.
53 Well, so ends yet another traipse into the wonderful world of nonsense.
54 I think I'm going to pop a Dove and commence onward with Tuesday, which is Garbage Day in these parts, always a treat.
55 I've lots of pink aluminum foil to recycle this fine day.
56 Who knows? Some trucker's life might change, if he runs into the right fortune.
57 It just goes to show.
58 Gottago.
59 See you again.
60 Peace.
16 Isla looked scared. This gave me an excuse to calm her down and elicit a magical smile. Maren looked from across the room and didn't look like she had even heard it.
17 It scared me too. But watching Isla calm down and roll into a smile, let me tellya.
18 Cuteness never looked so good. I loves me those babies.
19 Moving On, Part One: On my drive home from the baby cuteness last night I thought I might stop by the local CVS to see if I might find something for dinner. Not exactly a dinner place, right?
20 The last thing that place offers is dinner stuff. I'm not really sure what their theme is. Antacids? Cheap perfumes? Three-minute Lean Cuisines? Dove Shampoo?
21 I didn't know what to do with myself. Ever walk into a store and it is just all around you? Like you are the ring leader in a pinkish circus?
22 I decided that the only way to find my way home was through chocolate. Years ago I wrote a one-act. It was a life lesson about love. I'll spare you the details, but it had a narrator commenting on a gal's behavior after just having been dumped. The narrator was cynical, the girl innocently broken-hearted. The solution? Chocolate. We rehearsed with Dove chocolates, which are conceivably the most dangerous chocolates on the planet.
23 CVS. I can never remember that. I did think this as I entered the pink circus: "Chocolate Very Sweet!" came at me as a mnemonic device.
24 If you don't know, Dove chocolates are enchanted.
25 Our CVS knows this. They have words of advice on the inside of the aluminum wrappings.
26 They are the chocolate version of Asian fortune cookies.
27 No lie.
28 Do you ever make vanity purchases? Dove chocolates, especially in February. They are shaped like hearts, and come in various offshoots of pink and red this time of year.
29 Dove chocolates?
30 More like insanity chocolates.
31 And they command your future, sort of like fortune cookies on the lam.
32 Have one.
33 You shall fall awash in sweet dreams and potential good fortunes. They also cost a good fortune.
34 Some entrepreneur had his socks squarely on.
35 Dude.
36 It is officially last night.
37 I bought a bag of Valentine Doves.
38 <Tchaikovsky's Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet Overture under softly>
39 I swirled, for goodness sakes.
40 CVS.
41 No lie.
42 And it is Chocolate-in-the-Afternoon O' Clock as I compose this piece.
43 Somewhere in all of this I drifted off yesterday early evening, and then I awakened in the middle of the night to handfuls of Dove chocolates conveniently placed on every flat surface of the dining/kitchen area. But ignore all that. I was talking about the one-act play I wrote that featured Dove chocolates.
44 Did I digress? Dove's cause that. In fact, the broken-hearted girl in the one-act <spoiler alert> got lured
away from her abject misery by the cynical narrator's handful of Dove chocolates, the classic blue/silver ones, for the record. She froze in utter bliss, while the narrator, a direct fourth-wall blitzer a' la Wilder, finished the scene with a line beginning with, "You know..." and then some mumbo jumbo using names of Greek philosophers.
45 For those who were around, Maggie Pham played the narrator, and Karena Ramirez the broken-hearted girl, and they played the parts wonderfully.
46 The narrator gave a furtive glance to the audience and finished the "You know..." monologue with these words of wisdom:
47 "You know...all you need isn't love. All you need is chocolate." I claim original authorship of that line.
48 That was a fun line to write. It is one of those where you lift your pencil way up high and and lay it down fiercely when you dot the final "i". Bring up the 1812 Overture full blast.
49 I didn't end the play with the 1812 Overture, possibly because of its connection to Quaker Oats.
50 This in some odd way connotes Richard Nixon, who was a Quaker.
51 That's a far cry from pinkishly-wrapped Dove chocolates.
52 Imagery, I swear to you.
53 Well, so ends yet another traipse into the wonderful world of nonsense.
54 I think I'm going to pop a Dove and commence onward with Tuesday, which is Garbage Day in these parts, always a treat.
55 I've lots of pink aluminum foil to recycle this fine day.
56 Who knows? Some trucker's life might change, if he runs into the right fortune.
57 It just goes to show.
58 Gottago.
59 See you again.
60 Peace.
~H~
fin.
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