The Daily News
1 Well. Whatdya know about that!
2 I traversed through the Facebook jungle yesterday and wish to thank everyone for leading me to goofy news stories of all sorts. I never did know what the 15 Uses for Coca Cola were, other than drinking, but, oh well.
3 I kept getting bombarded by ad-pops, or interrupted by bullying companies that insisted on cutting in and dancing, with no respect for my dance card.
4
5 Okay. I'm old, but I'm not THAT old.
6 I vaguely remember hearing my parents talk about dance cards, and always wondered.
7 If memory serves, they had them at high school dances. It was a nice way to get everyone dancing with everyone.
8
9 "Is that another name for twerking?" some Devil's advocate just asked me.
10
11 Well. If that's what memory serves, I'd rather lose mine. Let us climb back up to the high road:
12 I take you back to nineteenth century Vienna. Oh, there is evidence of dance cards in the eighteenth century, but they garnered a lot more popularity later on. Originally called the programe du bal, or the German Tanzkarte, the dance card was not a card at all, but an ornamented booklet with an elegant cover that had the following items on it: songs, composers, and most important, the name of the man the woman was interested in having as a partner. Since there is nothing new under the sun, they also had sponsors, whose names were prominently displayed. It attached either to the woman's wrist, or to her gown, usually with an ornate cord.
23 This evolved into a more elaborate look, so that by the end of World War I, they were often seen at the dances of the very wealthy, and to have been decorated with precious metals and jewelry.
24 A much shorter version:
Dictionary a la 'H":
dance card (dans' kahrd), n.
A card a lady wears to a dance, with different songs, and with different partners for different dances and songs written on it.
25 There are, quite naturally, all sorts of variations on this theme, but that should be the bare-bones breakdown. This is a mixture of definitions from several sources. And yes, the dance card can be used metaphorically, and is used that way quite often.
25 And that, my peeps, is a brief historical glance at dance cards.
26 Compelling, what?
27
28 Is this boat listing?
29 No worries.
30 It righted itself.
31 Moving On, Part One: Did you ever wake up to weirdness?
32 That happened this morning.
33 First, I slept in. Always a mistake, and one I rarely made when working.
35 I had this feeling something was amiss.
36 I got up, showered and all, and then went to the kitchen to put on some coffee.
37 I still felt something was wrong. I took yesterday's coffee outside and threw it in the garden.
38 I call it my garden. It's more a long hedge that needs some tending.
39 I stopped abruptly, because the patio umbrella that was over a chair on the lawn had moved to the middle of my patio. It looked war-torn and faded, much like myself.
40 I glanced over to where it was and saw a board missing from the fence in the corner of the yard.
41 I'm not paranoid, but I have been robbed a couple of times in my life and know the signs.
42 That board may have been missing since I moved here, but I wasn't sure. There wasn't a board placed around or near where I was looking, but I thought someone might have jumped the fence to get in my yard.
43 Now that my brain is more clear, I can't imagine a guy jumping into my yard, and in a panic, throwing a board over the fence, grabbing a faded rainbow umbrella and setting it in the middle of the patio.
44 I had seen a robbery in the Bay Area caught on camera yesterday when I was having a go with Facebook. This moron was pretty bold. He had an accomplice go up to the front door of a house, and she was holding an electric guitar, obviously a ruse in the event she rings the doorbell and someone is home.
45 After waiting long enough, she turned and walked away from the camera, and soon, homeboy showed up.
46 It took a few seconds, but not long before his face came into focus clear as day.
47 He then broke into the house, and every camera in the house watched his every move. He had brought bags, and filled them with things, and midway through the house, he took his t-shirt and put it over his nose, the way kids do in school when someone lets one go.
48 It was a scream. There is clearly a reason this moron doesn't have a job.
49 Anyway, that partially explains the weirdness I felt looking at disappearing boards and moved umbrellas.
50 I finally sat down to write this stuff and my doorbell rang.
51 I then thought, "The guy set that all up to mess with me, and now he's at my door!" Police training from many years teaching had me search for a blunt weapon to knock him out with.
52 I went to the door and shouted, "I'm very busy, thank you. I'm not opening the door."
53 I looked through the peep hole.
54 There was a hand over it.
55 I ran back looking for the blunt weapon, and found the perfect one: a small wooden stool a student had given me a few years ago. It was an art project, but I'm sure it would lay the hurt down on this intruder. I held it up like a shield, and moved to the door. After taking a quick breath, I swung it open in full attack mode.
56 <crickets>
57 The only sound was of a Halloween welcome decoration that was hanging over the peep hole, banging the door lightly from my having opened it.
58 I let out a huge sigh, and amusedly closed the door.
59 I bemusedly turned back to writing this.
60 Amusedly, of course, means I was amused.
61 Bemusedly means "in a lost, preoccupied, bewildered, or confused state." That's a perfect cue for me to move away from this and get some fresh air.
62 Lost in thought. Ya gotta luv it. Anyway, my work here is done.
63 Gottago.
64 See you again.
65 Have a GREAT day.
66 Peace.
Classic Snob.
24 A much shorter version:
Dictionary a la 'H":
dance card (dans' kahrd), n.
A card a lady wears to a dance, with different songs, and with different partners for different dances and songs written on it.
25 There are, quite naturally, all sorts of variations on this theme, but that should be the bare-bones breakdown. This is a mixture of definitions from several sources. And yes, the dance card can be used metaphorically, and is used that way quite often.
25 And that, my peeps, is a brief historical glance at dance cards.
26 Compelling, what?
27
28 Is this boat listing?
29 No worries.
30 It righted itself.
31 Moving On, Part One: Did you ever wake up to weirdness?
32 That happened this morning.
33 First, I slept in. Always a mistake, and one I rarely made when working.
35 I had this feeling something was amiss.
36 I got up, showered and all, and then went to the kitchen to put on some coffee.
37 I still felt something was wrong. I took yesterday's coffee outside and threw it in the garden.
38 I call it my garden. It's more a long hedge that needs some tending.
39 I stopped abruptly, because the patio umbrella that was over a chair on the lawn had moved to the middle of my patio. It looked war-torn and faded, much like myself.
40 I glanced over to where it was and saw a board missing from the fence in the corner of the yard.
41 I'm not paranoid, but I have been robbed a couple of times in my life and know the signs.
42 That board may have been missing since I moved here, but I wasn't sure. There wasn't a board placed around or near where I was looking, but I thought someone might have jumped the fence to get in my yard.
43 Now that my brain is more clear, I can't imagine a guy jumping into my yard, and in a panic, throwing a board over the fence, grabbing a faded rainbow umbrella and setting it in the middle of the patio.
44 I had seen a robbery in the Bay Area caught on camera yesterday when I was having a go with Facebook. This moron was pretty bold. He had an accomplice go up to the front door of a house, and she was holding an electric guitar, obviously a ruse in the event she rings the doorbell and someone is home.
45 After waiting long enough, she turned and walked away from the camera, and soon, homeboy showed up.
46 It took a few seconds, but not long before his face came into focus clear as day.
47 He then broke into the house, and every camera in the house watched his every move. He had brought bags, and filled them with things, and midway through the house, he took his t-shirt and put it over his nose, the way kids do in school when someone lets one go.
48 It was a scream. There is clearly a reason this moron doesn't have a job.
49 Anyway, that partially explains the weirdness I felt looking at disappearing boards and moved umbrellas.
50 I finally sat down to write this stuff and my doorbell rang.
51 I then thought, "The guy set that all up to mess with me, and now he's at my door!" Police training from many years teaching had me search for a blunt weapon to knock him out with.
52 I went to the door and shouted, "I'm very busy, thank you. I'm not opening the door."
53 I looked through the peep hole.
54 There was a hand over it.
55 I ran back looking for the blunt weapon, and found the perfect one: a small wooden stool a student had given me a few years ago. It was an art project, but I'm sure it would lay the hurt down on this intruder. I held it up like a shield, and moved to the door. After taking a quick breath, I swung it open in full attack mode.
56 <crickets>
57 The only sound was of a Halloween welcome decoration that was hanging over the peep hole, banging the door lightly from my having opened it.
58 I let out a huge sigh, and amusedly closed the door.
59 I bemusedly turned back to writing this.
60 Amusedly, of course, means I was amused.
61 Bemusedly means "in a lost, preoccupied, bewildered, or confused state." That's a perfect cue for me to move away from this and get some fresh air.
62 Lost in thought. Ya gotta luv it. Anyway, my work here is done.
63 Gottago.
64 See you again.
65 Have a GREAT day.
66 Peace.
fin.
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