The Daily News
You can observe a lot
by watching.
Yogi Berra
You can observe a lot
by watching.
Yogi Berra
Ah, Yogi.
We love you man.
1 Are we having fun yet?
2 I sure am.
3 As always, it's last night. The news just told me that the song "Happy Birthday" is officially public domain.
4 I can't even tell you how that excited me. I have yet to sing "Happy Birthday" to the Twincesses.
5 But thank God, or whomever you worship, for finally freeing all of us from having to pay out royalties each time we sing that song on peoples' birthdays.
6 I don't know about you, but I've a confession: not one time in my entire life did I pay anyone to sing "Happy Birthday."
7 Not once.
8 Moving On, Part One: Just got word that Yogi Berra passed away at age 90.
9 Ah, that's gotta put a shaft through your heart.
10 At first I thought I had heard that Yogi Bear died and wondered about that. I worried about Boo Boo and Mr. Ranger.
11 Nah. This is the Yankee Yogi, the guy who is classically more famous for his "Yogisms" than for his play on the field.
12 He is the kind of guy that you always wondered, "Isn't he dead?" And each time I've checked, he wasn't. I sighed instantly on hearing this news. It caught me, maybe because any time Yogi Berra's name comes up, people smile.
13 Don't go here for too much for too much Yogi history. His playing history is no stranger to baseball fans, but his Yogisms will also go down as the essence of the man.
14 So: Never mind Pope Francis's visit, or anything Trump, or whatever else the news people distract us with today.
15 Instead, look up at the sky and smile at Yogi Berra. He gave the world plenty of smiles and laughs.
16 It takes me back to simpler times. Baseball. And today is the first day of Autumn. He timed it right.
17 So let it be. I offer nothing more but Yogi as avatar, as well as the author of many words of what many would consider to be "contradictory wisdom."
18 And where, you may ask, do I run for breaking stories?
19 Why the source-that-nobody-wants-to-use-but-that-everybody uses Wiki.
20 Yup. Brandishing the Wik. I can separate the wheat from the chaff with the best of 'em.
21 At the risk of straight-out plagiarism, I am going to post Wiki's Yogisms. Yogi said 'em and Wiki gathered 'em. I am but the messenger.
21 You ready? At the risk of stepping on Jimmy Fallon's toes, I offer this, as a shameless scoop: Wiki Yogisms. Here go:
- As a general comment on baseball: "90% of the game is half mental."
- On why he no longer went to Ruggeri's, a St Louis restaurant: "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."
- "It ain't over till it's over." In July 1973, Berra's Mets trailed the Chicago Cubs by 9 1/2 games in the National League East. The Mets rallied to win the division title on the final day of the season. "It ain't over till it's over" has become an anthem for never giving up. <my commentary>
- When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which was accessible by two routes: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
- On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet" "Thank you for making this day necessary."
- "It's deja vu all over again." Berra explained that this quote originated when he witnessed Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris repeatedly hit back-to-back home runs in the Yankees' seasons in the early 1960's.
- "You can observe a lot by watching."
- "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
- His stock answer to a writer's cruel nickname, The Ape: "It doesn't matter if you're ugly in this racket. All you have to do is hit the ball, and I never saw anyone hit with his face."
22 Scoop.
23 We love you, Yogi.
24 Might sound cliche, but you will be missed.
25 Moving On, Part Two: So there you have it.
26 So, back to business. I've been remiss in my duties of throwing out some correctness to everyone lately.
27 What I've tried to do all September is bring writing tips to nearly everybody.
28 Listen: when you were in high school listening to English lessons, distractions surrounded you: issues at home, issues with noisy classes, issues with guys shooting paper triangles through other guys' finger goal-posts, issues with crushes, and now, the ultimate enemy to learning, issues with cell phones.
29 You get the idea.
30 I'm thoroughly convinced that no normal person can really perfect the rules of the language until the age of 27, when they see they just might need that power in the working world, or better, they just might realize they've been making LOTS of grammatical errors, and that people judge.
31 Take this one: anyways. <basketball buzzer> It's anyway. No "s".
32 Too good for correctness? I'll keep these lessons up forever. Just remember where to look: this stuff, September/October 2015. Hopefully it will be around after I'm gone. Probably not, but hopefully.
33 Sidebar: Helene is scanning her phone to find a used chest of drawers for an area in the kitchen, just something for knick knacks.
34 She just looked over and said, "Some guy is selling a chest of drawers, but he called it "chester drawers."
35 Haha, like it's a guy's name. Chester Drawers.
36 I'm going to try to plant that in the phone book.
37 Back to it: That's a perfect illustration of the importance of straightening stuff out. If you laughed, then you judged, right?
38 Everyone says, "Don't judge." Most people judge, or they wouldn't be human. We don't LIKE that we do, but we do. Just skim Facebook if you want to see judgment at work. Just skim Facebook if you want to see idiotic grammar.
39 Am I hammering this home? Everybody, including me, needs to learn correctness. And if you think you know, you don't. Listen to the amount of people who foul up subject/verb agreement. Huh?
40 Listen people: they don't teach grammar like they used to. You might have a masters, but you know what I'm talking about. About which I am talking.
41 Listen: for the next three days I am going to present the Warriner's English Grammar and Composition, Fourth Course chapter entitled Glossary of Usage. It's insta learning, and it's fantastic. Best of all, it will have you saying, "Are you KIDDING meeeeeee?"
42 Three days because we're going alphabetical. It's just a few rules a day. Interested?
43 I don't care if you are or aren't. Here it is. I didn't write the following stuff; give the Warriner's people at Harcourt Brace, circa 1982 credit. Franklin Edition, blue, whatever all that means. Don't judge. Here ya go:
44 I'm going to begin with and etc. Listen: since etc. is an abbreviation of the Latin "et cetera" which means "and other things," you are using and twice when you write "and et cetera." The etc. is sufficient.
45 And here is me: Dude. It is therefore spelled, etc., not the horrific ect. And NEVER say ECK CETERA!!! You will lose friends. Seesly.
46 Want another?
47 At. Huh? The word at. I take you humbly by that little hand of yours and bring you over to Warriner's once more.
48 Look into this well. You should see a bucket and some water at the bottom. Underneath the water you'll find the word at. Don't let the ripples block the view. It's idyllic.
49 Do you see where it's at?
50 CLANG!!! I hope you felt that. I just punched you in the head with an iron.
51 Now that I have your undivided attention, here is the rule:
at Do not use the word at after where.
NONSTANDARD: or WRONG: Where were you sitting at?
STANDARD: or CORRECT: Where were you sitting?
52 I added the translation of Nonstandard, which essentially means wrong, and Standard, which essentially means correct.
53 Why? It is non-standard to end a sentence in a preposition. I'll get to those later, but the word "at" is a preposition.
54 So saying "at" after the word "where" is a horrid thing to do, even though virtually everybody walking around does it. Drives me nuts. Here's a short One-Act:
Tim: Just got back from a ball game.
Lucy: Where at?
56 End of lesson.
57 More to come. I'm gonna play hard, even if gonna is incorrect. People know I'm just messing.
58 See you tomorrow.
59 Oh, and thanks Yogi, for making all of us smile.
60 Peace.
26 So, back to business. I've been remiss in my duties of throwing out some correctness to everyone lately.
27 What I've tried to do all September is bring writing tips to nearly everybody.
28 Listen: when you were in high school listening to English lessons, distractions surrounded you: issues at home, issues with noisy classes, issues with guys shooting paper triangles through other guys' finger goal-posts, issues with crushes, and now, the ultimate enemy to learning, issues with cell phones.
29 You get the idea.
30 I'm thoroughly convinced that no normal person can really perfect the rules of the language until the age of 27, when they see they just might need that power in the working world, or better, they just might realize they've been making LOTS of grammatical errors, and that people judge.
31 Take this one: anyways. <basketball buzzer> It's anyway. No "s".
32 Too good for correctness? I'll keep these lessons up forever. Just remember where to look: this stuff, September/October 2015. Hopefully it will be around after I'm gone. Probably not, but hopefully.
33 Sidebar: Helene is scanning her phone to find a used chest of drawers for an area in the kitchen, just something for knick knacks.
34 She just looked over and said, "Some guy is selling a chest of drawers, but he called it "chester drawers."
35 Haha, like it's a guy's name. Chester Drawers.
36 I'm going to try to plant that in the phone book.
37 Back to it: That's a perfect illustration of the importance of straightening stuff out. If you laughed, then you judged, right?
38 Everyone says, "Don't judge." Most people judge, or they wouldn't be human. We don't LIKE that we do, but we do. Just skim Facebook if you want to see judgment at work. Just skim Facebook if you want to see idiotic grammar.
39 Am I hammering this home? Everybody, including me, needs to learn correctness. And if you think you know, you don't. Listen to the amount of people who foul up subject/verb agreement. Huh?
40 Listen people: they don't teach grammar like they used to. You might have a masters, but you know what I'm talking about. About which I am talking.
41 Listen: for the next three days I am going to present the Warriner's English Grammar and Composition, Fourth Course chapter entitled Glossary of Usage. It's insta learning, and it's fantastic. Best of all, it will have you saying, "Are you KIDDING meeeeeee?"
42 Three days because we're going alphabetical. It's just a few rules a day. Interested?
43 I don't care if you are or aren't. Here it is. I didn't write the following stuff; give the Warriner's people at Harcourt Brace, circa 1982 credit. Franklin Edition, blue, whatever all that means. Don't judge. Here ya go:
44 I'm going to begin with and etc. Listen: since etc. is an abbreviation of the Latin "et cetera" which means "and other things," you are using and twice when you write "and et cetera." The etc. is sufficient.
45 And here is me: Dude. It is therefore spelled, etc., not the horrific ect. And NEVER say ECK CETERA!!! You will lose friends. Seesly.
46 Want another?
47 At. Huh? The word at. I take you humbly by that little hand of yours and bring you over to Warriner's once more.
48 Look into this well. You should see a bucket and some water at the bottom. Underneath the water you'll find the word at. Don't let the ripples block the view. It's idyllic.
49 Do you see where it's at?
50 CLANG!!! I hope you felt that. I just punched you in the head with an iron.
51 Now that I have your undivided attention, here is the rule:
at Do not use the word at after where.
NONSTANDARD: or WRONG: Where were you sitting at?
STANDARD: or CORRECT: Where were you sitting?
52 I added the translation of Nonstandard, which essentially means wrong, and Standard, which essentially means correct.
53 Why? It is non-standard to end a sentence in a preposition. I'll get to those later, but the word "at" is a preposition.
54 So saying "at" after the word "where" is a horrid thing to do, even though virtually everybody walking around does it. Drives me nuts. Here's a short One-Act:
After the Game
a
One-Act play
(At rise, Tim walks on stage from l. Lucy enters from right. Birds chirping.)
Tim: Just got back from a ball game.
Lucy: Where at?
CLANG!
The End
55 Hope it gets good reviews.
56 End of lesson.
57 More to come. I'm gonna play hard, even if gonna is incorrect. People know I'm just messing.
58 See you tomorrow.
59 Oh, and thanks Yogi, for making all of us smile.
60 Peace.
~H~
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