The Daily News

1    It's a wise dog that scratches its own fleas.

2    I put the words of Strunk and White (I assume this came from Professor Strunk) at the top of the page to  work as a review of contractions.

3    I went to new tab to see if I could locate which guy coined it, but it seemed a bit tedious. GoodReads acknowledges Strunk as the author of that, but it remains ambiguous.

4   In my search, I found that most people who use the quote acknowledge either Strunk, or Strunk and White, and that is good.

5   Several didn't mention either of the authors, and one guy even wrote a song using the saying as lyrics. This is done often in music, gut it should have had some sort of acknowledgement, at least in my eyes.

6   What all of this comes down to is this: I want to continue giving language tips, but I can't really follow any of my sources directly, even though I could suggest going on Amazon and purchasing a used copy of Warriners English Grammar and Composition, Fourth Course.

7   That one aims at 10th grade, which is where most people stop caring about grammar.

8   The ones who GET grammar dig in, but others see that it probably won't help them much in the future.

9   <basketball buzzer>

10  Um. Okay this. Studying the rules of grammar and writing is essential to anyone wishing to write. There is correctness and there is incorrectness. Groom your stuff. Study the language on your own. The sources I give are excellent gifts to give to yourself. They teach such rules as a lot being two words, or they separate the three theres for you.

11  

12   STOP!

13   I said "three THERES!!!"

14   Dammit.

15   We are going to hell in the proverbial handbag.

16   Has thinking turned up lost?

17   

18   

19   I retract that statement. nvm.

20   Anybody lookin'?

21   Dude.

22   The three theres.

23   Here. I'll make it easy for you:

24    

      

It's simple!

It's not quite THAT simple but go with me here.

25   First: between two, among three or more. Just for the record. We had two pieces of pizza between the two of us.  We had two pieces of pizza among the three or four of us. While this is a sadder situation it is also a grammatically correct one.

26   If we scroll back up to the first meme, we can readily see that while the concern is genuine, the meme which is criticizing grammatically incorrect usage of the theres is itself grammatically incorrect.

27   The other two present the three theres accurately.

28   First there:

there: positional.  EXAMPLE: Look over there. 

<basketball buzzer>

The definition AND the example are both correct. What is incorrect is this omission:

While the above definition includes an awesome example, we lose a different there, same spelling: the "there" used as a pronoun and introduction to a sentence. If you change the sentence There is no better sport better than baseball, the word there is neither a position nor a location. It simply replaces the noun phrase no better sport than baseball using the linking verb is. 

Bottom line: there can also work as a pronoun at the beginning of a sentence:

EXAMPLE        There is no such thing as bad luck. 

29   Second their:

their: possessive. EXAMPLE: The idea to have a haunted house in the gym was their idea.

Yup. Works every time.

30   Third they're: 

they're: they are. EXAMPLE: They're morons. 

Yup. Works every time.

31   So you got it? Beware of simple solutions to grammar. Allow me to clarify some of these in the coming weeks. 

32   And even THEN...

33   Consider the source. Read to see if other professors, pedants, schoolmasters or extreme geeks correct me on any of this nonsense.

34   But choose whom you trust. 

35   Some are charlatans. Others know how and when to land the word whom perfectly.

36   And some are Old Brown Shoes who taught for years and get lost trying to figure out which star in the sky is Venus, and which is Mars.

37   Something like that.

38   Something like that.

39    Moving On, Part One: Which planet was with the Cheshire moon yesterday morning, Venus or Mars?

40   All the other stars vanished, leaving a Cheshire moon and to its right and up a bit was a planet. I assumed Venus, since it is the brightest, but my blurry dawn eyes saw some red, indicating Mars. 

41   Someone straighten me out on that one. I love both, and I am glad that two of all the celestial miracles shone yesterday morning. 

42   And I will have another look tonight.

43   And there are babies on the way. Not sure when, but they will add more to the celestial miracles.

44   I gottago.

45   I could be called to duty in the next few hours.

46   So...I'll be on Facebook; look for me.

47   TTYL.

48   Love is in the sky.

49   See you again.

50   Peace.

~H~

fin.