The Daily News
I think books were my
salvation, they saved me
from being miserable.
--Amy Tan
1 Ah, the Red Badge of...You. Just for making it through the week. And starting off with Amy Tan, even though this is one of the most historical days in quite some time. Amy, I'll offer a salute to you at the end of all this nonsense. If you read this, then understand how even your brilliance must take a back seat to what you once referred to as the Language. You impressed Stephen King. That impressed me. More later, but first, here's my yesterday. Hey DN peeps, you listening? Here go:
2 Normal Human Stuff: We spent all day and most of the night organizing the house, walking long distances, and replacing a beat-up chair with a newer one.
3 Don't get me wrong: I publicly named my old, beat-up chair "The Cloud" a few years ago.
4 Love it to this minute, but it took a lot of beatings going through several moves. Each time I moved it, there would come a time when I would yell out, "Pivot!!!"
5 Well, I instantly got the new chair home, moved The Cloud to another area of the room, and brought this new one in.
6 I barely blinked. A more solid chair works. I couldn't wait to test her. She'll work.
7 I instantly named her, as I do my guitars. She is affectionately "La Luge" which translates roughly to "La Luge."
8 If you're French, you either get it, or at least I think you get it.
9 If you are a 'Murican, you probably consider me a lunatic.
10 Both are reasonably accurate.
11 I don't know many 'Muricans who don't consider themselves lunatics.
12 It's all good, yo.
13 Ah.
14 Tired. I finally made some sort of healthy dinner, ate all the veggies and roots and all, cleaned up, and then settled down to writing this mischief.
15
16 There are worse things, let me tell you.
17 Like English rules.
18 DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
19 English rules.
20 On a Friday???????
21 Well, yes. English rules. It works better if you use it this way: English <subject> rules. <verb.> I rest my case. Meanwhile, if you find yourself slow of study, understand this simple precept, from John Lennon:
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
22 We all have work to do. We all have things that seem so important. We all go out there each day with various things that are so important we need to text on the freeway, so that we don't miss a beat. Facebook controls our thoughts. We want to be the first to comment and get "likes." We all want to raise our children correctly.
23 Then listen: teach them correctness in listening, speaking, reading, and writing. It takes a little time for you to learn things you think you learned. I'm here to tell you this: you didn't. You just, plain didn't. I will continue posting helpful tips and rules of writing for you. If you can work out for two hours, you should be able to master these daily hints in a half hour, an hour if you practice them while driving, instead of texting. Do yourself and your children a favor: put the phones down. I'm not trying to judge, it's just when I hear people say things like, "For all intense and purposes" (Argh! It is "all intents and purposes!") or "One in the same" when you mean, "One and the same," you need work on your use of idioms. Here are two excellent websites that can help:
The first shows commonly butchered idioms. Here is a site I stumbled upon. I wanted simple corrections, no common core, no picture of a woman running down the street reading a paper and holding an eye that stares at both a baby and a dog to illustrate "keeping an eye on something." Don't misunderstand: I just wanted idioms and their correct usages so that people could memorize exactly how they are supposed to be delivered. Some of these will surprise: again, click on the link, not the picture:
The second is a simple list of common idioms. This one passed the test, which is to say, all of the prepositions are in the proper location. That doesn't occur on many other sites. So here is a simple listing that you can come back to any time. You might even bookmark this page to get to these other locations. Hit the link, not the pic. Here go:
The first shows commonly butchered idioms. Here is a site I stumbled upon. I wanted simple corrections, no common core, no picture of a woman running down the street reading a paper and holding an eye that stares at both a baby and a dog to illustrate "keeping an eye on something." Don't misunderstand: I just wanted idioms and their correct usages so that people could memorize exactly how they are supposed to be delivered. Some of these will surprise: again, click on the link, not the picture:
retrieved from
http://www.mtcra.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/COMMONLY-BUTCHERED-IDIOMS.pdf
The second is a simple list of common idioms. This one passed the test, which is to say, all of the prepositions are in the proper location. That doesn't occur on many other sites. So here is a simple listing that you can come back to any time. You might even bookmark this page to get to these other locations. Hit the link, not the pic. Here go:
retrieved from
http://www.smart-words.org/quotes-sayings/idioms-meaning.html
24 Moving On, Part One: Here are some things you may know, or that you may not about what the delectable Amy Tan refers to as the Language.
25 All of this is again snatched from the Warriner's people:
26 Ready?
27 Okay. Ladies and Gents: Warriner's English Grammar and Composition's Glossary of Usage, part 3 for DN followers, Fourth Course circa 1982 for Warriner's followers:
28 Let's fix these. Now. Here go:
beside, besides Beside means "by the side of"; besides means "in addition to." EASY rule to master, dude.
Let's break it down. This is me talking, not Warriner's. I'm breaking Warriner's stuff into single items:
Beside means, "by the side of." I'm pretty certain John Warriner would have approved. Once more, beside means, "by the side of.":
EXAMPLES:
Warriner: Nobody sat beside him in the auditorium.
Me: I love when my girlfriend sits beside me.
Besides means "in addition to." <it also means "in addition">
EXAMPLES:
Warriner: Did anybody besides you see him? <in addition to>
Me: Besides ice cream, I also relish hot dogs. <in addition to> Sorry about the astoundingly tacky pun, I feel horrible, but not terrible enough to remove it.
continuing...
Me: Besides, she has a history of getting what she wants. <in addition>
29
between/among Between implies two people or things.
EXAMPLES:
Warriner: The two friends had only twenty-five cents between them.
Among implies more than two.
Warriner: The five committee members shared the work among themselves.
Me: Among the fourteen successful students, only Raul was considered a candidate for office.
30 That's somewhat annoying, as there are forgiven examples of when it's okay to use between with three or more. My feeling is this: it is always safe to adhere to the rules as written. Between, therefore, used as anything but two may bring fire and brimstone upon you.
Rule of Thumb:
between: two
among: three or more.
Accepted exception: Consider groups as singular: We sat between the San Francisco Giants and the San Jose Sharks.
31
bring/take Bring means "to come carrying something."
Me: That's it.
Take means "to go away carrying something."
Warriner's throws an exception that simply confuses. It is, for the record, this silly sentence:
"Shall I bring my bathing suit when I come to your party?"
Me. How is THAT confusing? You would be bringing your bathing suit into the party, which is you clearly coming into the party carrying something.
Warriner's then offers this:
Usually it is helpful to think of bring as related to come and take as related to go. Amen! Read it again! Can I get a witness?
Bottom line:
bring: come in.
take: take out.
32 bust/busted These are not verbs, unless you "got busted" for growing oregano. WAY incorrect otherwise. Use the past form of break or burst instead. NOTE: Remember that the past forms of burst are burst (NOT bursted, or worse, busted!). THERE IS NO WORD "BURSTED."
INCORRECT: I busted the window. No.
CORRECT: I broke the window.
Sometimes, use the correct form burst when talking about something that blew up or exploded:
INCORRECT: My glass bursted into a million pieces.
CORRECT: My glass burst into a million pieces.
33 Simple: Avoid using bust as a verb meaning broke. You can get away with "I busted my arm," because it's informal but not dreadfully so, but formally, use "I broke my arm."
34 End of lesson.
35 It is the weekend. I will go back through the week's archives and edit as needs be.
36 Meanwhile, learn the language you purportedly speak. Your thinking will improve with your listening, learning, speaking and writing these relatively simple rules of what the dazzling Amy Tan refers to as The Language.
37 Lateness caught me last night.
Pope Francis in New York today.
38 I do need to leave, but not without a quick word about the Pope's visit to New York this morning: I felt all of it was a lovely ceremony, and that the people who lost loved ones saw an honorable salute to what happened that horrid day. Regardless of any other things, I found it nice to see so many gaterhed to send a message of the possibilty of world peace out to our children, and to our children's children, and so on.
39 Get better. Get smarter. The teach your children. Don't try that in reverse.
40 See you again.
41 Peace.
fin.
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