Friday, August 28, 2015

The Daily News











1   I decided last night to open one of those small platters of mixed organic veggies, just so I would have a healthy snack before dinner. 

2  I bought it at some store or the other, and noticed it was labeled "Biologique." How fancy-schmancy is THAT?

3   Pinkies up.

4   Oh no.

5   It goes on. How's this for pretentiousness?

6   First, it said in English this:  "Vegetable tray." And right next to that it said Plateau de crudites.

7   Seesly?

8   Doesn't that translate roughly into English as "Table of Idiots who are crude?"

9  Moving On, Part One: Comedian Josh Blue on heckling: "I think heckling is misunderstood. It's usually drunk people trying to help."

10  I love that guy.

11  So a happy Friday to you all.

12  We somehow made it through a week where I wanted to throw my television out the window.

13  It's fun, in some ways to have so much more time to do this.

14  I need more time since my laptop keeps doing odd things.

15  For instance, it continues to jump words into other sentences, often when I'm not looking.

16  It also has this pink bar that appears at the top of the page every now and again. This tends to lock my keyboard.

17  You might remember last year when I mentioned that it also says "Report an issue" in the lower right-hand corner? Still does.

18  At the time I used to throw a picture of Nurse Ratched up and would do an interview thing with her.

19  I had my reasons.

20  Moving On, Part Two: I've mellowed yo.

21   I'm not sure if I have the jits or if my laptop has the jits some mornings. I try to highlight stuff and either I or it goes into the jits. 

22  I'm pretty sure most of the challenges on this little machine are user errors. 

23  I think my body feels I have to hit a deadline on this thing, but the deadline keeps being later each day.

24  At some point I'm going to analyze everything and take care of this guy.

25  I can probably Google most of this stuff but to be honest, I don't sit around thinking about it all day.

26  Moving On, Part the Thoid: Sacramento has this station called Good Day, which supposedly covers all of Northern California.

27  I sort of like it because it has a real small-town feel to it. They talk to farmers, go to county fairs, and seem to visit some sort of comic convention nearly every day.

28   Or a comic marathon where people dress up as their favorite comic heros and run to raise monies for good causes.

29  Right now they are at the Flower Farm Inn in Loomis.

30  I'm glad this passes as news. It's showing us some farm fresh vegetables which are probably biologique. 

31  They also show pictures of people's dogs.

32   In many ways it is so funky that it keeps me from getting the jits.

33  Wherever the super hero run is, their costumes are dreadful. Guys are running by wearing bath towels with cardboard "S's" on them. 

34  I wonder if anyone ever went as Bouncing Boy.

35   Here is a classic picture of Bouncing Boy:


36  You gotta love his thoughts about bouncing "...toward that bounder."

37  

38   

Here:

noun

1.  an obtrusive, ill-bred man.

2.  a person or thing that bounds.

39  Ha.

40  I wonder if BB ever had me for English.


41   Probably not. I don't recall ever having that word on a vocabulary list.

42   He must have had Demerson or Ocamb-Winters.

43   His street name was Chuck Taine and I never had him.

44   He got his bouncing power by drinking some sort of plastic that he thought was a soda pop.

45   The name Chuck Taine was stolen from Citizen Kane. His name was Charles Foster Kane, and BB's alter-ego was named Charles Foster Taine, an obvious rip-off.

46   Did I mention that today is a slow news day?

47   Good Day just went back to that farm in Loomis, which makes me want to go outside and garden.

48  <basketball buzzer>

49  First off, I'm in Sac, and it is supposed to be a bazillion degrees today. Second...ummmm...last time I looked there was a drought?

50  Am I missing something here?

51

52  I'm such a killjoy. 

noun

1.   a person who spoils the joy or pleasure of others;  spoilsport.

53   As much as I am loving all of this, I think it is high time to say good day to this week. 

54   Have a WONDERFUL weekend.

55   See you again.

56   Peace.

~H~





















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