The Daily News

The DN

IT'S FRIDEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

1 It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

2 WARNING: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real persons, living, dead or cartoony is purely coincidental.

3

4

9 Oh, for crying out loud.

10 Why that's just silly.

12 I loves me some blowing off of a little steam.

13 Especially on a Frideeeeeee!!!!!!!

15 The trouble with Frideeeeeee is that you have to stumble through it first.

16 And last night was yet another Garbage Night in my neighborhood.

17 We have a hootin' time every Garbage Night.

18 I go out just to hear whose recycling clinks the most, just so that I know who in my 'hood got issues.

19 The way I see it, the louder the clinks, the stronger the drinks. That's okay though. Garbage Night is always a hoot. I saw one neighbor holding his recycling from the bottom, and setting it into the recycling instead of just chucking it.

20 That homeboy needs to get looked at.

21 My lettin' off steam days is over.

22 That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

23 Moving On, Part One: You ready for this?

24 Things you may never wish to know about me.

25 I had cashews for dinner last night.

26 <crickets>

27 Why cook on Garbage Night?

28 I had cashews for dinner and salted sunflower seed kernels as chase.

29 What do they have in common?

31 They're both seeds.

32 Not gonna lie.

33 I'm sorta pride myself in being a bad seed.

35 I never seed things like everybody else.

37 Anybody lookin'?

39 You may now throw peanuts at me. They're nuts, so far as I can tell.

40 Moving On, Part Two: Do you ever notice that when you put a leaky cup down that it takes you around sixty tries before you realize it is no longer working as a cup?

41 It's like you set it on the sink, notice a bunch of coffee around its base and continue drinking it anyway.

42 That's just stupid.

43 And you realize once you pour it into a clean cup that you now have around four areas of the house to mop up, instead of throwing one cup away and tossing the new one into the dishwasher.

44 Stupid.

45 Not that it ever happens to me.

46 I've just KNOWN people who I have watched do that.

47 If it was my neighbor with issues it would not have been an issue. He would have thrown the cup against the wall and drunk out the bottle. He would get to the glass in the morning.

48 That's the difference between he and me. Him and me. English snobs. I swear.

49 Well, that's about all the nonsense that's left in me. Time for a little fun, and then I'm outta here. So here go. Here's a little Fats Domino to brighten your day. Loves me some Fats.

50 Have a safe weekend, and to all: It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Fly low. And stay safe my friends!!!

51 <music up>