2 But I digress.
3 I spent the entire day yesterday teaching JFK stuff.
4 It was murder.
5
6
7 o-KAY!!!
8 Yeesh.
9 I'm managing, despite the fonts jumping around and turning into all sorts of shapes and sizes.
10 Ain't gonna bother THIS guy.
11 Remember I'm tough guy's son. Tough Guy's my Dad.
12 Throw it at me.
13 He could steal a pork chop off a gorilla's nose, and the gorilla would stare astonished.
14 Sounds like a ride at Magic Mountain.
15 <sidebar>
16 Probably is.
17 Ah the memories.
18 Moving On, Part One: On riding coasters: I have always had a horrible fear of roller coasters. Not gonna lie.
19 I remember distinctly Rosi Hollinbeck sitting by my side on Magic Mountain and schooling me on how to conquer my fear of roller coasters.
20 She taught me how to take them a bit at a time, and once you conquer speed, you conquer drops, and once you conquer drops, you conquer twists. And once you conquer twists, you conquer loops. And on and on.
21 With the exception of not knowing to keep coins and pocket change in a zip lock, it worked.
22 She took me on Batman at Magic Mountain, when it first opened. She showed excellent bedside manner and she taught me relaxation while flying at turbo speeds.
23 We whooshed through drops, twists, loops and all the rest and within milliseconds the thing slammed to an abrupt stop.
24 There was an astonished pause. It was followed by hoots and hollers by all. We came. We saw. We conquered.
25 I became a Knight Templar.
26 Or some other rot.
27 Never mind all that.
28 The ride that truly worried me was this monstrosity that exists on a hill that overlooks clouds. It is called The Viper.
29 It stands on a hill. I can't emphasize that enough.
30 Fortunately I had Ponch as my co-pilot. He was every bit as supportive as Rosie.
31 Until the thing started. We clicked up the highest angle I could ever imagine. Click by click.
32 The clicks were right out of Edgar Allen Poe.
33 One by one.
34 Signs posted at perfect intervals warned people who are pregnant, or who have heart conditions, or who might faint not to board.
35 The signs were posted at intervals on the way up.
36 So we clicked.
37 I looked to Ponch for support. "This isn't so bad, right?" I said. He shook his head. We clicked slowly toward the blind first drop, which from my pavement analysis looked like I would likely swallow my tongue.
38 I looked over again. "Right?" I repeated. He looked at me, broke into a demoniacal smile and said, "Welcome to Hell!"
39 Ya gotta love it.
41 I suddenly sped, dropped twisted and looped when my skin came off my body, leaving only bones traveling through the night winds.
42
43 And then we stopped.
44 Chattenooga Choo-Choo just played on the teevee.
45 I'm pretty sure that is what played, orchestrated by the quite evil Dr. Ponch. Good call man.
46 I'm forever grateful.
47 And now I can say only this: "Let's go back to Zuma Beach."
48 Boy's good.
49 Okay, enough of this.
50 I gottago.
51 I've a saloon to run, and I ain't even thirsty.
52 See you again. Thanks again for all the nice thoughts that keep pouring in about my Dad. His service is tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m. St. Robert's Church in San Bruno, 1380 Crystal Springs Road, 94066-4794. (650) 589-2800 FAX: (650) 588-9628.
53 Peace.
~H~
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