The Daily News

The DN

Fred MacMurray.

1 "Do you want Microsoft to remember this password?"

2 I THINK it was Microsoft.

3 They had a pop-up that said, "Nope."

4 Best.Pop-up.Ever.

5 William Strunk just ran out of the room.

6 One.Word.Messages.

7 Strunk didn't like them.

8 Since Nicole's wedding, I'm seeing that Professor Strunk was somewhat a stodgy old fool.

9 Somewhat. That's an adverb, don't you know.

10 Who would?

11 Why, we Lords of the Language certainly would. Most certainly.

12 Lords of the Language.

13 Translation for the slow of study: English majors and English teachers.

14 Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE English majors and English teachers.

15 They just seem clueless that there are people out there who couldn't care less about proper English.

16 Okay you stodgy (there's that word again!) old fellow/madam. Here is an "ahem" for you.

17

18 Silent but deadly.

19 Anyone lookin'?

20 I want my students to take Cornell notes for the film I'm showing today.

21 I wanted them to use Cornell note taking techniques.

22 For the layperson, Cornell note taking techniques are a simple means of writing notes. Teachers love them because they can use that as an assignment any time they show a movie.

23 Don't get me wrong.

24 Showing movies is definitely educational, especially when you show an amazing movie that YOU know is deep and meaningful.

25

26 I went online so that I could download an easily understood tutorial on how to take Cornell notes.

27

29 I thought it would be cake.

30 <basketball buzzer>

31 The only mini-lessons they had featured Cornell notes for SCIENCE.

32 <horrors>

33 They had this chick who looked like Flo the Progressive girl before she became a brick shithouse, and to be honest?

34 I lost interest in a millisec.

35 She was young, beautiful, and WAY excited to show us all how we could become the Masters of the Universe, but to this LOL <see item 12>, she lost me.

36 Science? Ya KIDDIN' me?

37 Well yeah.

38 For the record, the older I get, the more I LOVES me some science.

39 But watching that video put me in a coma.

40 We're talking a deep sleep, beginning with a lovely yawn and ending with an abrupt snort.

41 She was WAY too excited about something for which I had no interest. Absolutely none.

42 Anybody lookin'?

43 I rethank all I ever knew about education, and presentations, and hyper lessons, and blah, blah, blah.

44 Because the bottom line: some people will never open up to things they've not yet understood nor bought into, and you will lose them.

45 You just will.

46 BAM.

47 And here I am, painting what looks to me like a Matisse.

48 Here's what it looks like to the average Joe:

49

50

51 I have become Fred MacMurray in The Absent-Minded Professor.

52 I get crazy about grammar, writing, and knowledge, knowing I am in some way taking a tiny portion of civilization, as the great Alvin Toffler once put it, "...from barbarism to civilization." I go in excited about whatever I teach each day, knowing that my students shall soar into this new and exciting realm with me.

53 I allow them to use cell phones to take pictures of the three whiteboards I use to make this all happen.

54 I picture myself looking crazily at chemical tubes with white steam, bubbling and boiling all around my lab. I get before my students and truly believe they ride on every word. Fortunately I have a practical side.

55 Every once in a while I stop and see that they are pretty much interested in gossiping, talking about boyfriends and girlfriends, social media and general gossip. They are all ears and braces. Reality sets in, and I usually stop and relax it all.

56 I was going to show Cornell Notes Girl to them today, but backed off. She was a bit too excited about larvae, and I found myself yawning, even though the piece is around five minutes.

57 To me, she looked like a lunatic. I'm sure glad I don't look like that.