The DN

1  I think I'm beginning to recover from Thanksgiving.

2  JUST kidding.

3  More like Halloween.

4  Is it just me or does it seem that the stores simply changed the wrappers and continued shucking off the same bags of candy?

5  I was half kidding about the recovery.

6  Chocolate comas seem to steer each day. 

7  I have this bag of Milky Ways at school that I have nursed since Halloween. I'm not EVEN gonna lie.

8  The trouble is that a few students have carved my room out as a place to study during lunch.

9  I no longer have a prep period bumped up against lunch, so I get stuck at school each day anyway.

10  This is great if I bring a handful of almonds and a banana, but I'm not geared to bringing anything to eat during the day.

11   Especially when doing the daily ritual of getting out the door on a frosty morning.

12  For five years food has never been a consideration when departing.

13  As a result, I often find myself with little sustenance at lunch.

14  Whoops.

15  Wait. No whoops.

16  I do have little sustenance at lunch.

17  A bag of Milky Way miniatures.

18  Anybody lookin'?

19  They replace lunch.

20  I try not eating them.

21  I'm convinced that the CIA knows I'm on to their sorry asses and they sneak in at night and dump handfuls of Milky Way mini's back into that bag. It's endless.

22  The good ol' CIA.

23  Always chasing after me. 

24   I'm so low budget.

25   Idiots.

26   The night before last, for example, I had begun pulling boxing pics of Charlie Chaplin from a Google I did of City Lights. 

27  I no sooner posted the City Lights' pics when some HDTV show had this Russian gal talking about how she wanted a home with "city lights."

28  I can't make this stuff up.

29  Later, I decided to leave an old movie on teevee just as I drifted off to sleep.

30  I awakened to weird noises and saw that some film about high school was on.

31  I pushed the guide button on the remote for info. The film was called The Faculty. I was bleary eyed until I heard the name of the school: Herrington High (my last name is spelled Harrington, but still, I heard the name). You can look all of this up, if you're of that ilk.

32  The plot perplexed me. First, how did this film EVER slip under my radar? And second, what the heck was it about? I decided to go  to the number-one-lousy-source-that
everyone-uses-anyway Wiki. Here go:

The Faculty (1998)

Plot[edit]

On a school night at Herrington High School, a few teachers, the head football coach and the principal leave after just having a discussion about the school's budget. Principal Drake (Bebe Neuwirth) having left her keys decides to go back for them. In her office she is confronted by the coach (Robert Patrick) who attacks her with a pencil. Drake flees to the main school doors and bumps into the drama teacher Mrs. Olsen (Piper Laurie) whom she pleads with to help her escape. Seeing the coach running towards her, Drake makes it outside and shuts the doors with Mrs. Olsen's help. After locking the coach in the school, Mrs. Olsen attacks Drake with a pair of scissors seemingly killing her.
The next day the main characters meet with Casey Connor (Elijah Wood) a photographer for the Herrington High School newspaper who is constantly picked on and has a crush on Delilah Profitt (Jordana Brewster) (the paper's editor and head cheerleader.) Delilah's boyfriend, Stan Rosado (Shawn Hatosy), quits the school's football team to pursue more academic ambitions, which angers Delilah into breaking up with him. Zeke Tyler (Josh Hartnett), a student repeating his senior year who sells, among other illegal items, a cocaine-like drug of his own make, is confronted by Miss Elizabeth Burke (Famke Janssen), who expresses concern for him over his illegal activities. Southern Belle Marybeth Louise Hutchinson (Laura Harris), a new girl in school, attempts to befriend self-styled outcast Stokely "Stokes" Mitchell (Clea DuVall), who has deliberately spread rumours she is a lesbian even though she has a crush on Stan. Marybeth, on the other hand, develops a crush on Zeke.
While eating lunch on the football field, Casey notices a strange creature on the field. He takes it to Professor Furlong (Jon Stewart), where the specimen is examined and believed to be a new species of cephalopod. Delilah takes Casey into the teacher's lounge to find a story for the front page, where they hide in a closet and witness the coach and the drama teacher assault the school nurse (Salma Hayek) by forcing one of the creatures into her ear, as well as finding the body of Mrs. Brummel. Casey and Delilah flee and Casey calls the cops. Principal Drake claims nothing is wrong and that Casey is seeking attention.
The next day, Casey tells the others that he believes the teachers are being controlled by aliens, and goes to show them the creature he found, which is gone. When confronting Furlong about the creature, he gets defensive and attempts to infect them. Zeke cuts off Furlong's fingers before taking a pen full of his homemade drugs and injecting it into Furlong's eye, seemingly killing him.
Realizing Casey is right and with the whole school potentially infected, even the football team and Stan's friend Gabe (Usher Raymond), Zeke takes everyone to his house where he performs experiments with a captured alien creature and realizes that it needs water to survive and can be killed by his drugs because it is a diuretic. Zeke makes everyone take some of his drug to prove they're human, but Delilah reveals herself to be infected and destroys Zeke's lab and most of his drug supply before escaping.
Acting on Stokes' speculation that killing the queen alien would revert everyone to normal, the group returns to the school, where their football team is playing a game and infecting opposing players. Believing Principal Drake to be the queen, they isolate her in the gym and kill her. Stan goes outside to see if it worked, but is infected by the coach. With none of the drug left, Zeke realizes he still has some in his car and goes with Casey to get it. Casey leads the infected students away from Zeke, who encounters Miss Burke in the parking lot and seemingly kills her when he makes his escape.
Casey returns to the gym, where Marybeth reveals herself to be the queen, having faked taking the test earlier. She is taking over Earth because her own planet is dying. Casey and Stokes flee into the pool where Stokes is injured and infected. Zeke and Casey flee into the locker room, where Zeke is knocked out. Casey takes the drug and tricks the queen into following him into the retracting bleachers. Casey traps the queen and stabs the drug into her eye, killing her.
One month later, everyone has returned to normal. Stan and Stokes begin dating, and Zeke takes Stan's place on the football team (while Miss Burke affectionately watches him practice). Casey begins dating Delilah, and has become a local hero. Meanwhile, Professor Furlong is adjusting to life with one eye and missing fingers.

33  You can't make this stuff up.

34   Moving On, Part One: I figured we needed a "Moving On" break in here somewhere, but the CIA did one more thing to me yesterday.

35  I spent the last part of my last period yesterday putting comments on old papers when I came upon a story a student had written about a Mexican creature called the
chupacabra.

36  Earlier in the day I had volunteered to sub during my prep period, which is the last period of the school day.

37  Great class, Special Ed students, sweet and sincere as can be. The lesson plan was a fun one: show the 2011 film Puss-in-Boots. 

38  Within seconds the entire room became enchanted. The film lit the early afternoon. 

39  About two minutes into the film, we learn that Puss has a series of aliases, one of which is...the Chupacabra! 

40  <insert Twilight Zone music; look at center of hypnotic circles above for one minute, then look at Puss-and-Boots poster>

41   It's the CIA I tellya. The chupacabra, incidentally, appeared in the late seventies, when rumors abounded of outer space creatures mutilating cattle. 

42  CIA conspiracy theories about space aliens running amok have since become pretty mainstream. 

43   Meanwhile...

44  f;jdfajfkldkfdjfdsf

45  Re-read the last part of this. That's some pretty crazy coincidences if you ask me. 

46  For the record, I do feel coincidences are simply chance occurrences. I would hate to credit the CIA with the brilliance of masterminding the ones that have fallen upon me like the avalanche that killed the Kirby's. 

47  I'd better exit now before people start to piece that reference together. 

48  Stay coo. 

49  Fly low.

50  See you again.

51   Peace. 

~H~

https://thedailynews-h.blogspot.com/

This pic was not chosen to close this out.

I'm serious.

Muahahahaha.