2 He is officially the only guy on the block with his Christmas lights still on.
3 Heck, I still have large candy canes lying on the lawn, even though I struck Christmas.
4 I guess it's okay. Christmas is fun. It's just time for us to move on.
5 So let us.
6 Moving On, Part One: January is traditionally a rocky month.
7 It always seems that the world is in some sort of post apocalyptic state, everything laid flat as a result of the excessive idiocy that is the human race. It is the ruins of a huge concert after everyone has gone home, or the condition of someone's house after an off-the-hook party.
8 January seems one huge hangover from two straight months of cheer. The dishes stack up, and are sometimes under a couch cushion.
9 Yup.
10 It's January all right.
11 Walk through the muck and start organizing and cleaning.
12 We can start by unplugging Goofy Guy's Christmas lights when he ain't looking.
13
14 Uh...you do it.
15 Moving On, Part Two: I'll not be in school today. Going up to the house to sort stuff and even visit the Chapel, where we will probably arrange for the placement of Dad's ashes.
16 For the record, Dad never thought someone's ashes were them. His feeling was somewhere along the lines that they got out first sign of trouble.
17 I quite agree. He's with Mom, and everyone else who is cool.
18 All you need do is see a January sunset and you'll see that hope burning brightly and colorfully.
19 I've had many such moments that past two months. If you were at St. Roberts' for Dad's celebration you know precisely what I'm talking about.
20 So the ashes?
21 I respect all of it.
22 I will remain solemn and respectful. I placed Mom in Tahoe, where we watch the sunrise overlooking Emerald Bay.
23 I'm not going to take Dad's ashes to Tahoe and put them an ashtray where he liked to play the ponies.
24
25 He'd laugh; word of honor: he's laugh.
26 Californians might not realize that smoking is okay in the State of Nevada.
27 Sometimes I thank JAY-zuss that I'm from Cali.
28 Moving On, Part Three: I'm officially hooked on veggie shakes, speaking of health. I get home and instead of grabbing a pound of cheese, I grab a ton of vegetables and toss them into the Magic Bullet. I now add a bit of vanilla Silk, this sort of plastic milk in order to sweeten the deal. Blueberries, raspberries and bananas add to that.
29 I'm careful. I know that too much of a good thing can kill you.
30 That's why so many people do too much of a good thing.
31 It's so wonderfully evil to do something that you shouldn't.
32 Remember the teevee show Leave it to Beaver? ( I KNOW, I KNOW, do we really need to ask that?)
Well...yeah.
33 Every now and again Beaver's friend Larry Mondello would say, "Hey Beav! Let's do something we're not supposed to!"
34 Ah, the Beaver. 'Murica, or at least a true slice of childhood.
35 Those were the days when teachers would visit families and get to know parents and friends of their students. Nowadays there is a lawyer standing behind every parent.
36 Beaver's fave teacher, Miss Landers wouldn't survive in modern education.
37 Sad.
38 If you ARE a Miss Landers, keep fighting. She would have been a fair and equitable union person, pretty sure.
39 Here is an excerpt from Series 3, Episode 9 for the uninitiated. It is from 1959 and it is entitled Teacher Comes to Dinner:
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Nothing in here could poison anybody, could it, Mom?
June Cleaver: Why, of course not, Beaver!
Theodore Cleaver: Larry said Miss Landers might eat something and get toenail poisoning.
June Cleaver: You mean ptomaine poisoning.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, he said if she got it, she might get mad and flunk me and stuff.
...and later...
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: My mother invited Miss Landers to dinner.
Larry Mondello: To eat?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Sure. You can't invite somebody to dinner without letting them eat.
Larry Mondello: Boy, Beaver, this could be the worst thing that ever happened to you in your whole life.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Well, I knew it could be, but I didn't know why yet.
Larry Mondello: Because when the other guys hear about it, they're gonnaa say you're just trying to be the teacher's pet.
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: But gee, Larry, you're not gonna tell them.
Larry Mondello: Oh, that's right. But look at all the other junk that could happen. What if your mom cooked her something that gave her toenail poisoning?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, I don't think my mom would poison a teacher. (1)
40
41 You gotta love it.
42 Remember charm?
43 Not living in the past here.
44 The occasional visit does elicit smiles.
45 That's where we are.
46 Let's clean up January and get back to the business of living.
47 You have a great weekend.
48 See you Tuesday.
49 Take care.
50 Peace.
~H~
(1) Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0033273/quotes
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