The Daily News

1  I am really glad that I will never become a candidate for American Idol.

2   I could take that further: There was never a moment in my life when I could have become a candidate for American Idol.

3   NOMBL.

4   That stands for Not on my Bucket List. Everything stands for stuff you know. 

5   The lovely part of  getting older is you happily change your bucket list to things you actually might get off your rear and do.

6   Honestly? I'm pretty content.

7   I remember a time I wanted to sky dive.

8   Not only do I no longer want to do that, I don't want to think about doing that.

9   There was a time I would have. I'm frightened of roller coasters, but the thought of diving out of an airplane never bothered me.

10  Why?

11  Maybe because I would feel I had more control flying over open fields.

12  I have para-sailed, for example.

13  And now?

14  I'm content.

15   I've come to realize that content is a nice place.

16   I'm happy. I'm happy just to walk around. I like the ground. I like trees. I like the sky. I don't necessarily want to ride through it. 

17   I guess that's a good thing.

18   I would jump out of an airplane if I were attached to a bear.

19   I just need something to cling to. Like the ground. I'm glad I'm grounded. 

20   Moving On, Part One: I've enjoyed my veggie lifestyle lately. I once told students never to begin a thesis with anything remotely associated with vegetables. I'm going against my own advice. If only I'd listen.

21   The first things I grab when I get home are carrots, zucchini, lettuce, cauliflower, blueberries and almond soy milk.

22   I blast a veggie shake and smack my lips.

23   It's been great, although I've been REALLY exhausted on arriving home.

24   I think maybe if I get home by parachute...

25   Moving On, Part Two: I've been sneaking Double-Cream Oreos when nobody's looking.

26   

27   Hey, nobody's perfect.

28   I never signed on as a role model. I just needed a job, and teaching, as Ponch and I observed years ago, beats workin'. 

29   It's been a fun time. Sometimes it is diving out of an airplane. Sometimes the airplane lands on you. It's not unlike the life of Wile E. Coyote. 

30   Dude. I've let my public down. I can't get off the Double-Cream Oreos. The caps give them proper noun status.

31    I like to think that's something. 

32    I'm on a fifty-step program.

33    Double-cream! Who DOES that?

34   I haven't licked all the cream off one side...quite yet.

35

36   It's only a matter of time.

37   I'm going to Oreo Hell.

38   There's help out there. I know it.

39

40

41

42    That's it. The meaning of life is 42, and I'm going for a Double-Cream Oreo AND a cold glass of Almond Soy Milk.

43   All RIGHT. All RIGHT.

44   

45   I almost said that I'll stop.

46   Not this guy.

47   fafdasdffsdfsdfsdfs.

48   Thursday. Garbage Day. They stack up.

49   Either way, there's an easy way out of this.

50 

51   

  

52   Or not.

53

54

55    

56    Huh? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

57    Okay.

58    Here go.

59

60     

61  That more like it?

62   Gottago.

63   See you again.

64    Happy Garbage Day.

65   Peace.

~H~