The DN

The Little Mermaid: 

 A Perspective in Thirty Seconds

From an Old Brown Shoe

With the Forgetsies.

1  Little Mermaid is on as I compose these words.

2  It's on the large teevee, complete with sound bar.

3  Classic.

4  The watermark Disney film of the Great Disney Renaissance of the 80's. 

5   Living in the past.

6   Nice place to visit.

7   Life's full of tough choices, innit? 

8   This one is easy.

9   Got a blanket and a need to stop watching people get punked by their jobs.

10  Not a hard choice at all.

11  Except I was wiped out yesterday.

12  I DID sleep through the night before last, and that was without Little Mermaid and a warm blanket.

13  Whole Foods is sponsoring it. I became uneasy when they featured fresh fish in their ad. Okay. They're coming back from commercial. 

14   Whoa! Ariel has FEET???

15   Never saw THAT coming. <observation> Her hair is a mess. Thank you, Captain Obvious. 

16   I really HAVEN'T seen this in quite some time.

17   That Prince is a dumb ass. How did he not instantly recognize her? What, she has feet?

18  Why is she combing her hair with a fork AT table?

19  Sebastian must be mortified, and scared shitless.

20  That French chef is a knucklehead.

21  Sebastian is too small to eat.

22  I don't know if I can watch anymore.

23   Tell me how it ends. My recollection is it ends happily, but you know Disney. 

24   I'll just Wiki it.

25   Moving On, Part One: 

26   That Ursula is a bitch. And she has HALLA back fat. Has she no scruples? Something must have traumatized her when she was real small.

27   ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬  Sha-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬...WHAAAT???. I expected them to kiss! This is BOUUUUshit.

28   Tell me how it ends. I'm done. 

29    NVM.

30   I REALLY don't want to know.

31   Moving On, Part 2:

31   WHAT? The Prince is going to marry the Sea Witch?

32   Men.

33   A bite in the arse!!! 

34   Yeah King Ariel's Father!

35   Damn you, Ursula damn you!!!

36   Gold digger.

37   I can't watch another minute. 

38   My poor little poopsies!

39   Nooooooooooooo!

40   Little children should not watch this.

41   She's SO mean!

42   The Destruction of Ursula!!!

43   Everybody's a fish again!

44  King Triton gives Ariel feeeeet!

45   They finally kiss, but that dog interrupts.

46                         Quickest.Wedding.Ever.

47    Music up. ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ Under the Sea; under the sea ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬

48    And they lived happily ever after, which is as it should be.

49  Whew.

50   I was worried.

51   Not gonna lie.

52   Gottago.

53   Have a GREAT day.

54   See you again.

55   Peace.

~H~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPQVrjnC1jo