2 I listen to the news and it tends to put me on a downer.
3 Maybe I write this because I like to chuckle and offer chuckles.
4 Quite often the news is on when I write the morning of, which I am doing today.
5 Yesterday I decided to honor our union and enjoy working to rule, which means not between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3:30 p.m.
6 I went Christmas shopping instead.
7
8 Me.
9 Everybody knows I am a Christmas elf.
10 Nah. Not really. I used to be a HUGE Grinch.
11 I think I know why.
12 Some stores play REALLY bad Christmas music. Walking alone through a store and listening to sad and sentimental Christmas music depresses you. Listening to some of the worst Christmas songs ever makes me want to strangle myself with a pair of socks.
13 Add to that the fact that the Levis are in the Lee's section and the Lee's are in the Levis' section, AND the sizes on the hanger aren't the sizes of the clothing.
14 I'd have better luck doing my shopping at Savers.
15 Still, for me to be out and about on December 16 is a coup.
16 I was one of those guys who would wait 'til Christmas Eve to shop.
17 For you younger set, this means that all you can get for your wife or girlfriend is XL or XXL, which works if she offers that much love.
18 And most of that clothing has had the necks yanked out of the hangers so often that a sweater might make a better skirt.
19 So last night was a lark. Easy parking, empty stores, and rain. Pretty peaceful and easy.
20 I also went at five in the afternoon, not really a busy time, at least so far.
21 And people STILL irritated me, especially linebacking mothers bullying through coat racks.
22 Ah, it's all good.
23 Nothing like a little Christmas cheer.
24 Moving On, Part One: This is going to sound random, but do your ears ring after listening to a sound bar for a couple hours?
25 That never bothered me until I would spend a few weekends at Dad's, and he would blast that thing.
26 My eyes would cross.
27 I felt I deserved it though because he used to yell at me when I'd play Beatles' music too loud.
28 I'd get this shot: "Turn that crap down!"
29 Revenge is best served unknowingly. I don't think he had a clue as to how loud the teevee sound bar was.
30 I already had poor hearing, even when I was really small.
31 Remember those beep tests they used to give grade school kids? The ones where you had to out on headphones and point to which phone beeped?
32 I would always point to the wrong beep.
33 As a teacher later in life, it became difficult. There is a classroom rule that the quietest students always sit in the seat furthest from the teacher.
34 I combatted that one.
35 I have certain students I KNOW are never loud enough and I move right next to them.
36 It's a football move.
37 Moving On, Part Two: I just heard that Sports' Illustrated has a new issue with Colin Kaepernick on the cover. Headline: What's Happened to the 49ers?
38 Seriously?
39 I was going to ignore that entire story today.
40 It is so unbelievable I want it to vanish.
41 See why you shouldn't have the news playing in the morning?
42 Now I want to go to Kohl's and cold-cock some greedy shopper.
43 Moving On, Part Three: I jinxed the Warriors last night.
44 I hadn't listened to any of their games during the streak, but last night the game was on when I hopped in the car to go Christmas shopping.
43 I instantly turned it off, but I knew it was over.
44 Sorry Warriors' fans. M'bad.
46 Moving On, Part Four: I missed around six wet paper towel shots to the waste paper basket yesterday. I wet paper towels to clean the whiteboard in my room.
47 Schools don't have blackboards anymore, or even green boards. At least not my school, which is a newer school.
48 They use sliding whiteboards, which work great but which can also get really messy. Teachers argue about which chemicals work best to clean them.
49 I've had tremendous luck with just plain water.
50 I gotta get off my high horse and get to the school. It is finals week, so we're off at around 1:10.
51 I'll be gone at 1:11. I wanna hit the stores again for a second go-round.
52 Have a GREAT day.
53 Don't listen to the news. Go outside and enjoy the sky.
54 See you again.
55 Peace.
~H~
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