2 That's the teacher's scream the second grades are all set.
3 It's a silent scream, because a) we're teachers so we don't jump up in a bar and yell "F@C& YEAH!!! and b) no one cares.
4 So I'll sit on a little bench on the playground, eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and say, "Boy, the PTA sure did a good job of painting these benches." Or maybe even, "Yay."
5 fkdfdsflsdjfsd
6 Anybody lookin'?
7 It's 11 p.m. and my last email came from a parent who praised.
8 That happens to teachers a lot more than people think.
9 If you're a young parent, do that. We don't do the job for praise, or for the money or any of that, but it sure is nice when a parent takes the time at 10:30 p.m. to do that.
10 It was my last email of the evening, and my roof opened up to winter stars.
11 Yeesh.
12 Semester grades. Massive job, massive deadline, and massive stress. Tons of papers and finals.
13 <looking up and noticing people are getting up to get coffee and scratch their asses.>
14 Yay.
15 Did I tell you I went to Disneyland?
16 afkdjfdsjfdf
17 <crickets>
18 Moving On, Part One: Ah vell. Loving life right now.
19 How was your Monday?
20 Mine became funny quite early. I did everything in my power to go in strong after an exhausting weekend.
21 I planned, I organized, I worked, and I walked in early. I was ready to clobber them.
22 I brought all six bazillion pounds of papers, lesson plans, books, candy bribes, and anything else I could think of on a dolly and wheeled it all into my classroom.
23 What an image. O.G. teacher in the gangsta hat and tie wheelin' it all in.
24 Yee-uh.
25 When I opened the door and turned on the light, I saw that I had it together enough when I left for vacay to leave the date, and a message that read, "Happy New Year!!! Welcome Back!!!" It had a smiley emoticon dude next to it.
26 I walked in all swag, saw that stuff on the whiteboard, and smiled as my class came in.
27 One eagle-eye decided to ruin my morning. He pointed at the board and said, "You spelled 'welcome' wrong." I turned to the board and saw that I had indeed spelled 'welcome' 'welcom.'
28 I swiftly swiped my hand across the hideous error and said just as swiftly, "I didn't seeanythingdidyou? hashtagdumbass hashtagnooooooo! hashtaghashtaghashtag.
29 Anybody lookin'?
30 I'm not quite done yet.
31 I recovered, did some welcome back jive, squeezed in Disneyland, and gave a list of vocab words to be converted into sentences.
32 I then began my offensive, which was to get grades done.
33 What nobody knew was that I had found a brand new DVD of The Odyssey, which I was to pop on the last twenty minutes. I hooked it to a powerful mini-Altec speaker, then told them they could put away their work.
34 I popped it on, and the thundering drums began, Odysseus running through Ithaka with his large bow; his wife screaming with the pain of childbirth, and people screaming.
35 The students drew in immediately, since they had just read the story.
36 I started doing the grading when I noticed that the actors talked funny. I listened.
37 They were all talking Greek.
38 How?
39 A few years back The Odyssey stopped putting out their CD's of that film. I went to get one on Amazon and the price had gone up from the usual $12.99 to $198.00. I remember almost fainting when I couldn't find my primary DVD. All I had was a VHS of the film.
40 I'm not sure why, but a few years ago it became less rare, so the price went back down to $12.99 once more. I think I gobbled up around three copies, just to have some backup. The trouble is I never tested all of them.
41 The one I got must have figured that San Jose must be an island in Greece, so they mailed it to me.
42 The kids, of course, laughed and enjoyed watching me grab the DVD and explain that it was in Greek, and that women scream the same in any language, only in Greece someone is going to inevitably shout, "OPA!"
43 And so it was done.
44 By some miracle I got the DVD out and found my dusty old VHS copy and made the switch. It went pretty fast, and before I knew it, The Odyssey beamed, in all it's glory, this time in English.
45 Every now and again we go to VHS. It's always fun, because it's so nostalgic. You don't have a menu of scenes so you have to watch the counter.
46 My player at school rewinds in slow motion. It may finally poop out today.
47 It's a livin'.
48 What a fun way to start the new year. Totally Chaplinesque, right where we left off.
49 I like it that way.
50 It made it all come alive within seconds.
51 Hope you got some sort of smile from all of this. I finished it last night at around 11:30 and then took to a good night's sleep.
52 Have a GREAT day.
53 See you again.
54 Peace.
~H~
fin.
No comments:
Post a Comment