The Once-in-a-While

Daily News

1  Ahhh. Well, thanks everybody, for the birthday thoughts. I tried to keep it secret, but once it spilled to the social media, I enjoyed it, like a sudden water ride in the spring.

2  You throw your hands up, and then you smile and giggle like a toddler! All of that. I really did appreciate everybody's friendship and love. 

3  And AFTER all of that, March still lingers.

4  It's becoming a bluish leftover lamb.

5  Which is okay.

6  It's okay.

7  The parties have ended and the focus clearly is on April, our little Lamb of God; our little secret.

8  While traveling through my youth, when I would come in from a rough Friday or Saturday night, my Dad would sometimes awaken me with this greeting: "Good morning, Buddy. Would you like to have a nice cup of cold lamb gravy?"

9  Thundering Zeus!

10  Ah, gone are the days; gone are the days.

11  And then... lamb jokes. Oh, they have them. To wit: 

Q. What do you call a lamb with no legs? 

A. A cloud. 

12  Moving On Swiftly, Part One: I began all of this on Sunday afternoon, a day filled with layers and layers of ennui. For those of you who might not know what ennui is, I'd like to help out. Not a grammar nor a vocab Nazi here. So here go:

ennui

ahn-wee, ahn-wee; French ahn-nwee]

noun

1.     a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or 
        lack of interest; boredom.
        The endless lecture produced unbearable ennui.

13  The word satiety is one of those uppity words that  simply means " the state of being overly-satisfied," so ennui is that feeling of unbearable boredom because, while everything seems okay for the moment, you are also ridiculously bored. Nobody died, nothing is particularly wrong; you're just bored to the point of screaming. 

14  I wanted to get out and do some walking, but every time I'd go out, I'd do some low-budget project and head back indoors.

15  Sunday I got up early, edited a play, looked through set design books JUST as a hobby. I nailed a lot of that in an hour or so, and moved to the yard. I looked over at my little jug fountain and saw it had moss in it. 

16  Oh, Hells-to-the No.

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21  #goodgawdweveturnedstupid

22  

23  I did the right thing. I went back inside and Googled "cleaning a water fountain" on Google. I found it, so I Googled it. Google, google, google. You know when you google something iso exquisite expertise? I found some guy who posted a video over fourteen minutes. Can't miss.

24  This guy posted a "how-to" in which he pulled a mini-mucky fountain to a close-up, and started moving his fingers all around the top part of the fountain. The only trouble was, the guy barely whispered the instructions. He must have gotten his tech schooling from the sound guy from that Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movie. New acting trend. "Don't worry if the audience can't hear you. Act from your heart and soul."

Maybe. Sometimes, though, the audience needs information, even if you can flood the set with real tears. Old school over here, people. As Judge Judy would say, "FINISH YOUR SENTENCES. I HATE THAT!" Basic rule of theatre. Drives me nuts. 

25  You couldn't hear what the guy was saying if you were in a village of Carthusian monks. 

26  My immediate impulse was clearly to move to a different video. But I stood fascinated that this guy took the time to film himself for over fourteen minutes, and with almost no sound.

27  He wasn't instructing; he seemed to be vowing.

28  And his comment section. Yeesh. People honked at him with verbal traffic horns. And they were graceful and poetic. I give you the grace-filled miracle of the human tongue:

29  "why were u talkin' so quietly?"  ---naterade21

       "Was listening in the background as I cleaned our                             fountain. It seemed like you were trying to convince me
        to make love to you with how you spoke...I paused a few
        times to look at my phone. Lol."---Fabian Nunez

The guy even commented on his own video. Here is what he posted to himself:

        "People are sleeping."---Rocking Dustpan

30  That was his name. He left me a white square that I'd like to share with you. It became a tattoo for me to enjoy on my own post here.    
                           
31  You can't make this stuff up.





31  Allow me to translate.

32  Get a hose. Get a gallon of white vinegar and a bottle of cocoanut oil.

33  Clean the fountain pump with white vinegar and a garden hose. Clean and spit-shine the fountain using a squirt bottle of cocoanut oil. Add some arugula and quinoa. Welcome to 2017.

34  Everything you DO in 2017 suggests you use white vinegar and cocoanut oil. And arugula and quinoa. And kale.

35  Who am I to step on the toes of trendy?

36  Maybe if I season the pump with green kale and arugula it might look spiffier. 

37  Worth a shot. Afterwards I could have quinoa pie seasoned with coriandar. And a shot of Maker's. 

38  And chase it all with a key-lime pudding.

39  It would be yummy.

40  Moving On, Part Two: Am I keeping up with trend?

41  Ah it's all good. 

42  Social media as goldfish bowl.

43  When did it EVER come to this?

44  I guess I like that I somehow have become friends with everybody I ever met. In my entire life. Yeah, because THAT'S normal.

45  It makes me feel good that I live a reasonably "normal" life. LOL. LMFAO. IMHO. HMO. DIMSUM.

46  

47  Anybody lookin'?

48  Moving On, Part the Thoid: According to my own Soc Med profile, I turned 111 on Monday. 

49  Like that? "Soc-Med."

50  I'd forgotten that I put my correct year of birth when I first signed on. 

51  I also have TWO Facebook sites. That's the sort of thing you do when you are Agency.

52  

53  <with some form of Eastern European accent> Zo. You dewnt belief me.

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55  Pehfect diskize...

56  I'd like again to thank everyone for all the nice thoughts over the weekend. Had a LOT of fun.

57  Gottago.

58  See you again.

59  Have a GREAT day.

60  Live life.

61  Love life.

62  Peace. 

fin.