The Daily News

The DN

1 It's FRIDEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

2 Fast week.

3 Fun week, and looking forward to more fun next week.

4 And now...the news!

5 Uh...

6 Yeah the White House is pink...

7 And uh...

8 There could be a World Series' scandal involving Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester.

9 Some Twitter rumor.

10 No complaints from the Cardinals. They won yesterday. Only people in Boston and St. Louis know this.

11 And now...uh...

12 Okay a LOT of stuff happened.

13 I'm never upset by slow news days.

14 No news tends to be good news.

15 The news is blaring at me as I hammer this stuff.

16 Lot of fast cuts.

17 Here's my news: There ain't really any news. Nothing huge, and that's good news.

18 OH. This might be news.

19 I officially like the Geek Squad.

20 Yeah, the Best Buy Boyz and Girlz.

21 Last night my Toshiba (that's T-O-S-H-I-B-A) laptop decided to go off the wireless for about the sixth time since I got it in May.

22 I needed it last night, because I have already read AND posted my latest group of papers.

23 The ghost stories have already been read and posted. I had just posted them when wireless access to the internet disappeared.

24 For the record, it has happened a few times now, and has always been laptop error.

25 I sort of learned how to fix it a few times, but I prefer letting the Geek Squad tackle it.

26 Last night I REALLY needed to be connected because I needed to answer any emails.

27 At around 8:30 I could no longer access the internet, relegating my TOSHIBA to a glorified paper-weight.

28 I did some research and this evidently happens to TOSHIBA products. I have tried to stay with this lemon because I fear sending it back to a company that clearly doesn't help its customers is futile.

29 I already tried returning it once.

30 <basketball buzzer>

31 I eventually will, but for now, I depend on the Geek Squad to get me out of tight jams.

32 I'm not one to go into a store at closing time and ask for assistance, but last night I had to. I knew that the challenge wasn't rocket science, so I went in.

33 My laptop was in a satchel, so nobody knew what I had. It was around 8:40. They told me that the next available person would help, and that I could sit at the counter if I liked.

34 While waiting, I decided that I might as well take the thing out of the satchel. Faster.

35 I went in to a brief daydream, imagining myself in slow motion taking the TOSHIBA out of the bag, grinning at the Squad, and watching them slowly stare and move in horror.

36 I imagined the head sales guy saying in a low, slow voice, "Nooooooo! Not a TOSHIBA!!! Runnnnnnnn!!!" followed by all the employees scattering like cockroaches the first sign of a bright light.

37 I saw myself sitting alone, just me and my TOSHIBA.

38 I heard the sounds of jazz music drift through the store as the scene shifted to me in silhouette, and then to a sudden blackout, an abrupt end to an odd film.

39 Loud drum beat.

40 Soft music. Credits roll.

41 And roll.

42 Gaffer.

43 Key Grip.

44 Best Boy.

45 "Um...sir?"

45 Best Buy.

46 Best Buy.

47 "Um...sir?"

48 "Uh yes. I have this TOSHIBA laptop and it won't let me access the internet and..."

49 <crickets>

50 For the record, they did fix it, and even showed me how to fix it, even though it is a TOSHIBA laptop.

51 I will never buy another TOSHIBA product as long as I live, but I would like to send a shout out to the Geek Squad over at McCarthy Ranch.

52 They've gotten a lot of criticism on Yelp! but they've always been like my personal IT guys, and once again did it for me.

53 Before nine. I felt great. Got my computer home, and it wouldn't connect, but I pushed a few buttons and got it going again.

54 In some ways it makes my laptop a bit special.

55 For a minute just now, it started using Caps Lock backwards. When I would push "shift" or Caps Lock everything went lower case, and when I didn't, everything went capital.

56 That all took place between items 50 and 54.

57 Moving on, Part 1: I know you've all heard about it, but here is THE Halloween video of the century: