MAD BUM!!!
2 Copy machines tend to hate me.
3 So many different ways to fail.
4 This new varmint has all sorts of tricks, but I don't have the time to read the manual.
5 When I go through the swinging doors, it stairs me down like a grizzly cowboy.
6 I know deep down that the thing wants me to screw something up.
7 Heck, I do that enough on my own time.
8 It is always a little creepy going into that dark room first thing in the morning. I turn on the lights and there stands the varmint.
9 I'm not quite ready to name it that, but it is always that moment when we both find ourselves poised for a shootout.
10 I usually spin my gun and zip it into my holster. No point wasting ammo on a varmint.
11 Moving On, Part One: I'm not really moving on, just changing the story a bit.
12 In the midst of the thing running what it was supposed to run, I kept glancing at this round table off to the left.
13 It had someone's bag on it, a half-full roll of Brawny paper towels, and a zucchini the size of Algiers.
14
15 It had a little sign on it that said that it was free.
16 I started my walk around the copy machine and up and down steps, but kept coming back to the thing.
17 When you've been eating healthily, you find an offer like that a bit too hard to refuse.
18 I garden, and I am aware of the thick skin of an overgrown zuke, but the healthy part of me kept thinking barbecue with some bbq sauce.
19 I decided to grab it and take it up to my room.
20
21 Huge zucchini's don't travel well.
22 You ALMOST have to put them under a ream of paper and hold them to your side, hidden from any sort of comment.
23 It isn't an easy thing to transport in any sort of situation.
24 It screams, "DON'T BE A FOOL!!! KEEP ME HIDDEN!!!"
25
26 Anybody lookin'?
27 I looked out the window for an all clear.
28 When I saw it, I grabbed it, protected it like a running back, and reached my room undetected.
29 I instantly threw it into a random box and slud it down the side.
30 I promptly forgot about it and got back to planning and doing all the nonsense required of a teacher.
31 The day rolled along merrily. I forgot about the thick-skinned squash and went through all the motions of finishing up the afternoon.
32 After my last class left I STILL had to write up lesson plans for today.
33 I wound up staying until after 6, when I finally decided that enough was enough.
34 I wanted to make SURE that I would have the night off, and that I could watch a little baseball.
35 When everything was finished, I gathered all my stuff and was out the door when I remembered...
36 I didn't really know how to transport the thing.
37 I looked at my orange-and-black backpack. Baseball. I gotta get home.
38 My eyes darted side to side.
39 I put the thing in the backpack and made SURE that it hit bottom.
40 I kept telling myself, "Don't forget it's there! Don't forget it's there!"
41 I moved swiftly back up to the room and began packing to get home for the game.
42 Ever overload a backpack so that it won't zip?
43
44 The large zuke somehow nudged itself enough that it would have been visible to a cave beetle.
45 The walk to the car had me moving fast. All I thought was of someone coming out of a meeting, seeing the backpack and screeching, "Hey, is that a zucchini in your backpack...?"
46 It's a livin'.
47 Moving On, Part Two: Anybody watch that Giants' game last night? Mad Bum painted a masterpiece. Buster stepped up, both veterans of the 2009 San Jose Giants. They always had arrived, but that game was what we have wanted to see all year.
48 It was a wonderful evening and a great game. That team got knocked around in Chicago and never recovered from the rain and the odd schedules.
49 I hope they still have hope. Weirder things have happened. Good to see our Giants still fighting.
50 Baseball. Sometimes it's a poem.
51 That's about it for today. LOTS to do, always. I did go in and do an earthquake preparedness drill with all my classes yesterday following the aftershocks.
52 My classes are as prepared as they could be. It took ten minutes, and I got all my info from the safety people at USC.
Here's the link:
53 Stay safe. See you again.
54 Peace.
~H~
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